Tell me about your interview experiences Sup Forums. Did you ever fuck up? Any success stories...

Tell me about your interview experiences Sup Forums. Did you ever fuck up? Any success stories? How'd you prepare for them?

Do you a Sup Forums user could be intelligent enough for a job?

You sure as shit aren't with your punctuation

When they asked me what are your weaknesses, i panicked and said i have none whatsoever. They both laughed and that was the longest job i ever had. 3 ½ years

If you're anything to go by, obviously not.

What else did they ask you during the interview?

>punctuation

Because that was the problem with that sentence.

>punctuation
you mean grammar you fucking illiterate retard

I went full spaghetti in one interview and still got the job, luckily i have the skills to back me up when the autism flows from my mouth.

I've only had to do about 5 interviews and landed 2 jobs out of them luckily, one lasted 4 years and the other i'm still at after 5 years.

I'm an old man who has hired hundreds of people in my career. Once had a young lady passionately kiss my hand. I've seen ridiculous entitled white boys blow interviews with unearned arrogance, and resumes riddled with spelling and punctuation errors. I've had interviewees bring their mothers in to help them during the interview.

SPOILER: Today's kids are mostly useless.

any tips for a fag that has a big interview on Monday?
>inb4 kiss the guy's hand

I just fucked up an interview pretty badly in an odd way last month

I was asked about social media and told them I don't have any, i don't share personal things or pictures online. They said "not even facebook?" Told them no, and they got a really weird, stern look on their face and started jotting something down, whispered to eachother and then the interview just sort of fizzled out and ended a couple minutes later.

Don't really know what that was about, but from context I think I was supposed to have facebook for some reason

Got two bites. Im eating fish tonight

I would absolutely love to hear some spaghetti stories if you have any notable memories?

did the young lady get the job? that's fucking sexy

probably thought you were lying

...

How? They're free to try and check. My name doesn't even bring up anything on google

Had an interview this past summer that probably would have gone really well.

Accidentally got dosed with a large amount of LSD the night before. Had a really crazy night, but started to come up by morning. I decided to go into the interview anyway, thinking I could stay cool and just power through the tail end of tripping.

Bad idea.

Once I arrived at the building, I kept giving everyone I encountered a really big hug. The interview was ridiculous. I basically gave a bunch of responses as if a "job" was just some sort of "abstract" that didn't really matter. The people giving the interview were visibly stunned, but just kind of rolled with it. On the way out, I told them both they were beautiful.

I didn't get a call back.

i'll be the judge of that. post name and dick pic

Ask about the job, ask about what kind of person would make a good fit on the team, stuff like that. Seem engaged and interested.

Be honest.

Think of an example of a project you worked on (school, work, a team) where you contributed. "I was on a research team that got a commendation" or "I taught a new process to my class", something like that where you made an impact.

Ask to shadow the job you're seeking. You'll learn about the job and they'll know you are genuinely interested.

Why do you want the job is almost inevitable. "I am anxious to work with a team towards a common goal so I can utilize my _____ skills."

Sit in front of a mirror and ask yourself questions, just so you can learn to breathe and relax.

Good luck!

i actually respect that! anytime i got lucky enough to land a job interview, i blew it off because of drugs instead of just actually trying to go high at least

holy shit that would have been incredible to watch, what was the job for?

thank you senpai. helps a lot

Why would you say you are afraid to work with a team?

Thanks for the tips user!

It was to be a call center manager.

They were going to take me a tour and everything, but decided not to.

Personally, the experience was very stress-free. Coming up off of acid, an interview didn't feel particularly important in any real sense.

Fuck that. I'm old and I don't do any of that Facebook shit. If asked, I'd tell them honestly that I focus on my real-life relationships without social media.

Most places just want to know your online history as a means to disqualify you.

And for you idiots who have [email protected] types of emails, ditch that shit for something grown up.

I use something grown up. Obvious selection initals of my name. plus the company i'm giving the resume to. I make a new email for each company so they don't have a main one that could be backtraced.

i wouldnt hire anyone that has zero expirence with social media. it makes me think you're stubborn, socially awkward and too autistic for the work place.
>pro tip: ieven if you have no experience with it, lie and say you do.

>Apply for a programming job, thay literally only want "knowledge of Java programming"
>OK, great for a chump like me, I sort of know the basics, I'll learn the more specialized stuff while in there
>Interview goes smoothly, they give me a program to complete
>lol, this is going to take me a week or two at most
>Oh the horror
>I knew noone of the paradigms, wasted weeks of work on shit that could never work, raged for days over one line of code, had to learn a whole framework
>Six fucking months later, I return
>There's three of them there, all senior programmers/managers
>Don't even look at the app, eviscerate me on server stuff and theoretical informatics

just make a decoy facebook with family as friends dont post anything don't like any page or post just say its for messaging

why even apply?

nice attempt to cover up your dumbass, faggot

when companies ask for java they usually expect a university graduate, go into web dev stuff if you want to have a chance

Eh, you need a phone number to make one, and I don't want facebook to have that kind of information about me. I might in the future, but I'll have to buy a burner phone just to do it. Seems like such a waste of money

Try this - find the one remaining payphone in your city/town/village. Set up google voice. Give gvoice the payphone number. Punch in the 2 digit code into the payphone when it calls. Enable gvoice SMS in hangouts. Give facebook the gvoice #. May not work but, worth a try if your alternative is spending real money.

Sounds like a good idea. Would want to do it out of state though and not in my area. You know how facebook is and tracks everything and can put 2 + 2 together

I would be more worried about google tracking everything than facebook.

heres an idea, dont be shit at your apparent career choice

kek
I've read a story of someone who did 200ug LSD 10 hours before job interview and actually got it.

I was up for 3 days before my interview with speed lmao. Tho i got the job.

>$30 burner sim to get a job
>sounds like a waste of money
good call Einstein

just use your name, it seems a bit weird using their company in your email if you ask me.

Go buy a vanity domain firstnamelastname.com or something and use their webmail with employment@ if you want something nicer and have $10 to spare.

i smoked meth before my last interview and got the job too

retard

My man