I have BPD. Ask me anything

I have BPD. Ask me anything.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder
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do you want to kill your self?

I don't necessarily want to kill myself. But, there are days that I wish I didn't wake up.

Who are your voices? Do they have names? Do you feel like the actual owner of your body, or do you split time with them?

Do you get annoyed when caring friends ask if you're taking your meds?

I have a friend who wasn't, he had kind of a breakdown because of drugs, caused damage, got kicked out of school, and he lives in a different place with no mutual friends.
I want to make sure he's okay.

Do you think you can ever overcome your disease and become a normal member of society? Serious question.

So in other words, you're a well-rounded human being who approaches the world as it is?

What's your attitude on fidelity? Also, is it true, that people with BPD are notorious liars? Thanks in advance.

I have BPD, not DID.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder

I do not currently take any medications. I am trying to manage it on my own.

I can tell you how I'd feel if I was your friend, though it may differ. If this would be the first time asking, I'd be fine with it. I would probably feel a little guilty or even ashamed for making you even ask that. Maybe a bit defensive. Though, as I said, that is just me.

As I see the world and myself at least.

Not OP, but I have BPD and yes.
I understand how crazy it sounds, but the key isn't medication. It's compromise, and finding equilibrium with the personalities inhabiting your brain. These "personalities" are a coping mechanism for trauma that malfunctioned and turned into a sort of thought-person. Brains are weird and we don't really understand them yet, so it's difficult to explain in other terms.

What's BPD

I seriously doubt that. I might be able to get better and lead a more 'normal' life. But, I well never be completely normal.

I am poly myself. Which is probably just a bullshit excuse for my want to sleep around.

I am sure you can see my views on it. I am in a committed relationship, though, and have not cheated. It's tough, but I make it work.

I lie about a lot of stuff. Stupid stuff, mostly. I feel like I have to.

Thanks for your input on how you'd feel.

Idk. I wonder if maybe he looks up to me in some way, I'm 5 years older than him, he's just 18.
I've been open with him about my struggles with depression and anxiety. I was here when all the shit went down for him. And I used to take the same meds that he's prescribed.
He knows that I'm a very caring and kind of maternal person.
I just want him to be okay, and to be taking care of himself. And I'm also concerned about if his meds are affecting him in a negative way, because I know he really disliked taking them in the past.

How do you deal with it? My mother and significant other both have BPD, and they seem convinced as though they can't do anything about it, rather they don't want to do anything about it.

That sounds more like split personalities, which normally has not much to do with borderline.

Have you ever tried DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)? It's supposed to be the most effective therapy for BPD.

Wrong disorder, moron.

>Do you get annoyed when caring friends ask if you're taking your meds?

There are no meds for BPD

The best thing they have thus far for people like OP is dialectical behavioral therapy.

So your basically just a moody bitch and require more entitlement to make yourself feel better. Got it.

I was in Dr. Marsha Linehan's DBT program at the University of Washington. (As a bipolar test patient, not BPD).

I'm not sure what meds the BPD people were taking, but I know Marsha felt strongly about the best scenario being a combination of DBT and meds. So while there may not be any BPD-specific meds (yet), there *are* meds that can help.

This.

You're welcome. I hope that it helps a little.

Hm. That's a tough one. I'd say that he probably does look up to you and probably sees you as a great friend, especially if you have been there in the past. Sometimes people with BPD, even if they truly care for a person, devalue the relationship.

I'd reach out and keep doing so. Just gently. If he wants to open up, he will.

Right now, I manage it mostly on my own and day by day. I also smoke pot to relieve the feelings. It seems I am one of the lucky ones it works on. Normally, from what I have read and heard, it makes it worse.

I get the same way sometimes. It just feels like there is no help. I just said to my SO tonight that I want to see a therapist, when he has been asking for awhile and I refused, saying the therapist wouldn't help me. I guess you kind of have to gently push and let them get there on their own.

I am currently not undergoing or have ever gotten treatment. My parents tried when I was a teen, but the bitch was crazier than me.

Yep. There are meds out there that can help. Can't remember specifics, but they can help alleviate certain symptoms.

>Right now, I manage it mostly on my own and day by day. I also smoke pot to relieve the feelings. It seems I am one of the lucky ones it works on. Normally, from what I have read and heard, it makes it worse.

I get the same way sometimes. It just feels like there is no help. I just said to my SO tonight that I want to see a therapist, when he has been asking for awhile and I refused, saying the therapist wouldn't help me. I guess you kind of have to gently push and let them get there on their own.

Do you know your subtype by chance? I want to be as gentle and easy as I can with the pushing, but my SO is especially self destructive. She's been getting better the last few days but in the next 2 she regresses and any progress that was made is gone, and then I start from scratch.

tl;dr she fucks her own life up nearly beyond repair if things aren't perfect right away

Also pardon my greentext failure here doing the one eyed typing on my phone so I don't wake her.

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

No worries!

I do not know my sub-type. Your SO sounds a lot like me, though. Unfortunately, that is just how it might be. It will be repetitive. Getting her to a good place for a little while and then her slipping, just for you to have to do it again.

Maybe sit her down and try to talk it out? That sometimes works with me. Though, others, I get really defensive. So, be warned about that.

Yep. I'm terrified that my SO will leave me someday for someone who isn't batty.

Are your initials JY?

Do really small things set off extreme positive/negative emotions in you?

Yes, who is this?

When are people with BPD going to stop using their illness as a way to act like a shitty person?

Nope.

Definitely. I have many mood shifts within a short period of time sometimes because of stupid little things.

Not me. But, okay.

R u a grill???

>No worries!

>I do not know my sub-type. Your SO sounds a lot like me, though. Unfortunately, that is just how it might be. It will be repetitive. Getting her to a good place for a little while and then her slipping, just for you to have to do it again.

>Maybe sit her down and try to talk it out? That sometimes works with me. Though, others, I get really defensive. So, be warned about that.

It's quite frustrating, she does so well and then some kind of hardship arises and she just shuts down completely. I have tried talking with her and it really depends on the day, the first time I was certain she was going bite my head off, the second time she was all about starting DBT and CBT. These were about six weeks and a month ago, respectively.
She's yet to actively seek out these things (they won't cost a dime, my work covers everything) but it was nice to see that she wanted change, if even for a moment.

Like I said earlier, she's in a high functioning period but if history holds true in about 2-3 days the cycle will repeat. Is there anything your current SO does that helps you stay in a good place longer? I start work again after my holiday break on Monday and so I won't be around as much to give her the attention she needs to stay in this current state.

Sorry for the novel, it's not often I get the ability to talk with someone about these problems.

Not sure. It's a shit thing to do. But, look at how many other people with some kind of disorder/illness use it as the same excuse.

There are no women on the internet.

>I have many mood shifts within a short period of time sometimes because of stupid little things.

I dated a girl with BPD for awhile. She would go from being really loving and cuddly to cold and distant in about 30 seconds. It was difficult to deal with.

>There are no women on the internet.

Well, there may be no women on Sup Forums, but I'm here to tell you that I had a lovely online lusty adventure with a girl I met in a bipolar chatroom. Ended up visiting her in her hometown, and I can assure you, she was all the way female. :-)

I don't believe you, tell me your female name

fuck off and die already...

>There are no women on the internet
I see a lot on Porn Hub

Do you know what cyclothymia is?

She probably really does want to change. It's just kind of hard to come terms sometimes. It's scary, especially if you have lived with it so long, without treatment, and it is the only thing you've ever known. Being 'normal' seems scary.

If she has an 'episode', I hate that word, don't tell her that it will be okay. In that moment, nothing is okay. It will probably just anger her more.

As for my SO helping to keep me high functioning, if she needs time away, just give it to her. Be there if she needs you, because sometimes even days during good times are tough. Also, just try to be a little more patient during the good days. A wrong word or look could set her off.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Happy New Year to you too, user!

Touche'.

I'm not familiar.

It's mood swings, I believe, but not as strong as with bipolar.

In order of intensity:


cyclothymia --> bipolar type ii --> bipolar type i

I also meant to say that it's no problem. I could see my SO doing the same if he was in the same situation. So, I am glad to help if I can. I'd offer an email, just you'd have a resource if you had questions or whatever. But, if your SO found it and if they are as like me as I think, they'd seriously freak.

I have BPD too you're not special let's go 1v1 man let's see who's more mentally ill

BPD is a disorder that effects females more then males. Rare in men about a 1/10 ratio in people officially diagnosed.
Also its commonly misdiagnosed as bipolar in males. And a not fully understood illness even in modern psychiatry.
As for me the worst is feeling loneliness and other emotions I can't describe.
I'm introverted and extroverted.
I have very bad separation anxiety.
And then I have a very negative side and its even worse.
I just keep myself in touch with reality by reminding myself that there is nothing wrong with me and, that there is something wrong with everyone else. It works I haven't flipped yet or killed myself yet.
Its fucking horrible.

There are days it seems she does and other she doesn't. I feel like she relishes in the extra attention she gets when she's in a down period, as much as I hate to say that.

I learned the hard way with my mom, so I try to avoid saying anything at all because I know that it's just going to make things 500 times worse. My dad dealt with it for 22 years before he couldn't take her swings anymore.

Generally speaking she doesn't want away time from me it seems. I try to give her the time and support that I reasonably can (my average work week floats been 50 and 70 hours) so, I do what I can for her, but a little more patience probably wouldn't hurt.

It's much appreciated, seriously. A lot of the support groups and blogs I've come across have basically said it's not worth your time and effort if they don't actively want to pursue help. You are entirely correct, when she found out I was looking for CBT/DBT therapists in our area she damned near lost her mind.