A good friend of mine suffers from depression and is recently having suicidal toughts

A good friend of mine suffers from depression and is recently having suicidal toughts.
What to do? How do i get him to stop thinking about it?

kill him

make him feel important without outright saying it. otherwise, be there for him to make sure he won't do anything stupid and let him ride it out himself.

I try to do that, but we see eachother only at school and we live pretty far from eachother, so i dont have may ways of staying with him and checking out on him

start a snapchat streak with him

Wtf is that

Report it.
People come in two flavors, alive and dead. Its better to err on the side of being alive.

Suivide Prevention Hotline
One eight hundred 237-8255

He needs professional treatment.

People with depression NEVER get better on their own. Not even with family help.

Imagine someone being swept down a river. You see them, they see you. They call for help. You throw them a rope and keep them from being swept further down stream, but they can't pull themselves out of the river. So, you're stuck there, keeping them from being swept away, but they can't get out.

Eventually, you get tired and it's either go in with them or let them go.

They need help in getting out of the river. You can't do that. They need medication and professional help.

He has medical threatment for a long time (like 2 years or so, from the incident that put him in this state), the only thing is that he's been recovering these past months and no one has thought he could get worse, bur hey, what do you know.

I dont think his family and the doctors know about it (in fact i think only me and his gf are the one that knows hes in this state), should i tell his family about it?
If yes, is there something i still can help him with?

He has medical treathment, plus we live in italy, but hey, thanks for the tought man

Im sorry for the shit english btw

Make a point to stay with him a long time. Like a whole day.
Having been in his place it would have given me a big boost.
When I had and have people by my side I feel better.
That said I'm also mentally ill so I'm sure that plays a factor.

Buy him some rope.

Be gentle, and ask lots of questions. Everyone is different and so every disorder is different. Each one has its own quirks and triggers. Learn those and how to deal with them with him.
It will give him hope. For the first time.

le depression meme strikes again haha. I too am really sad.

I'll try to arrange something the next time i meet him at school then, thanks for the suggestion

tell him to an hero.

then you wont have to deal with his btich ass

kek

Remind him that at least he isn't a nigger.

I think i got to a point where i can see to a certain level what triggers and relieve it, but ill continue to "study" it deeper, thanks for the help

I also have two common close friends with him that attend our same classroom, should i tell them about the worsening of his state or should i keep quiet?

Faith. You need to teach him to have faith that things can get better.

It's never a easy ride especially when you're on a sinking ship but on the end of the coast there's always a shore waiting for you to make it there.

As long as you fight there's always a chance to survive and you haven't lost until you've given up. Even then the sun will still shine and give you the light you need to survive.

Remind him that you've still got faith, even if he doesn't show him that you do. You don't want to make it up you just want to be honest about it. As long as you can see it and he knows that then he'll slowly start to see it as well. He needs to have faith in something, whether its you, his family, his pet or anyone.

Yea but how do i teach him that in the common routine without sounding corny (i dont know if the usage of this word is correct.)??
I heard that having a hobby helps, and he has one, creating music, but even so hes still falling deeper.

I second this

That is not totally true. Personally speaking, I was deeply depressed. After about a year, I forced myself to make steps to live with issues. eventually I just got better. (I did have some people who helped me through tho. also I do believe getting this guy help would be the best option)

Buy him a nice 1' hemp rope about 30 feet long

How did you find out about his depression?

Tell him you never really get over depression and you fight it off for the rest of your life

We made friends the first day of the fourth year of highschool, and not so many days after it he told me about his depression and other problems

A big part of depression is just feeling like you cant tell anyone. Sounds to me like ur friend has already gotten a little better

Yea because the period when he told me was when he was getting better (he formed a band, he got a gf that loves him) the worst was 2/3 years ago after the incident that put him in this state

Just let him talk to you, in person. Sometimes that's all we need.

Why do you think you know better than him how to live his life and whether he should end it? Who made you god? If he wants to be an hero, respect his lifestyle choice and let him.

Is he currently getting better, or did something else happen.

In my experience the second deep depression you get is worse, already knowing how bad it gets.

>How do i get him to stop thinking about it?
you don't. you help him get to his therapist.

don't get too wrapped up in that shit man.

But im still concerned about his conditions, at 2am (4 hours ago) he told me that he wants to end it so im fucking scared man, in my life ive never been in a spot like this

What about the freezing temperature of the water? The massive waves stopping everyone's screams as they are swept under the current? Dodging razor like coral reefs along the way? AND THE FUCKING SHARKS... In the dark too? Welcome to my world.

I struggle with depression on a daily basis. Look at my only purpose in life as having a debt to my parents and giving them a good life. After that I'm offing myself.

He started to get better after yeara of it, then in the holidays off from school he started having toughts about suicides

I dont know if it would work, but you could always tell him he is being selfish, and to think of the people he would hurt. (tbh its a dick move tho, and probably wont help long term)

>suffers from depression
They are useless to the gene pool. Let them kill themselves. It's natures way of weeding out defective genes.

how did he break it open to you and tell you about it? can you tell me the story?

People probably already used that "technic", lets call it, as hes been in this state for a long time, so i dont think it could work, plus, yes, its a dick move and i would like to avoid that

We were just talking during intervall about our life and things like that (we just meet so we were trying to know eachother better) when he told me: "can i tell you something? But please keep it a secret" or something along those lines, and showed me his cuts (fucking big scars in the arms, belly and so on) and told me about his problems

serious question here, have you tried calling the help line and asking them? I have only been depressed, never talked someone down GL.

Hes having medical attention, plus i dont know what that is, as we are italians and we arent living in america

I can tell you, if he showed you just like that he wasnt help, but isnt strong enough to get it himself. I cut myself on the legs when I was Beta, and wore shorts alot. I tried to get people to see them and maybe do something about it. (P.S. cutting actually helps imo. It helped me care about myself less).

correction he wants help
not wasnt help

how did you guys meet?

At the start of the fourth year of highschool, he came from another school and me and my two classroom buddies approached him as he was looking kind of off put by the new environment

how have you guys been hanging around since then? have you guys been hanging around a lot? if so whatya guys do?

make a suicide pact
he can't anhero unless you anhero right next to him
he might not value his life
but because he values your life
he will continue on until his suicidal phase passes

I agree with you, user.

At school we talk, either us two, with the other two guys, or with some other guys of the class, and at the interval we used to smoke togheter (now he quit), but he still get with me to eat.
Im 17 (in italy you have to be 18 to get a car) and we live pretty far fron eachother, so we dont have any way of meeting off school.

(Fucking broke english, sorry about it)

just shoot up a school like a normal person

suck his dick
if he still wants to an hero after getting his dick sucked
make sure he dies quickly

By talking i dont mean small talks, but deep bullshit friendship induced talks, i think we are pretty close being the small time we've known eachother

Sorry, gun law in italy is pretty strict, best i can do is throw spaghetti

it's fine I was able to understand everything very well.

So you guys don't really see each other often after school. Do you know what he does when he gets home?

He plays vidja, hangs out with his gf or friends from his town and practitice with his band.
He usually read comics too, wich reminded me that he recently bought one called "paperi" (ducks) wich talks about donald ducks cousin, that suffers from cronic depression. Maybe that could have been the catalyst of the whole situation but i dont know, i should buy it and see

This. This right here.

This guy is why so many people kill themselves. Because of misguided shit like this.

During college, I was depressed. I talked to people about it and what'd they do? They called the cops and took me to an ER. At that point, I wasn't actually going to kill myself, I was just depressed. But I ended up with an ER bill, lost that friend, and in the end, my life was a whole lot worse.

Later, when I got more depressed, I'd learned my lesson: don't talk to anyone about it. I ended up actually trying to kill myself, and I hid it from everyone on purpose - because I didn't want them doing some dumbass shit like this guy is talking about.

If you want someone to live, make them want to live. Don't be a douchebag and try to pawn them off on some "professional." Don't try to get someone else to "help" them.

Don't try and force them to live - make them want to live. Find out what they're depressed about and make it better - or at the very least, try to give them good things to balance that out. If someone's depressed over stupid shit like "my parents don't love me," give them some love to fill that void. If they're problem is they're poor, help them find a good job. Either fix their problem or counterbalance it.

I was going to school your ass but came in and kicked yours into orbit for me.

you don't stop them. only he can, and maybe not even that. express a concern but don't dwell. recommend an anonymous, affordable counseling. leave it alone. if you suspect something more imminent, report it. school authorities, police, counselors all have to check in and are taught how to be tactful.

Usually when he comes to talk with you about his depression and his cuts, what's the reason that you get from him for feeling that way or him cutting him self?

Well ok about the first half, but im not that sure about the second one, the italian school is pretty fucking far from the american one, police doesnt have anything to do with depression and we dont have public consuelors (at least not as good as the americans ) , just private, wich hes already having contact with.

(This observation probably doesnt have any point but whatever, just wanted to get that out)

He cuts himself to relive sadness, and thats what i fell coming from him, sadness

/thread

then cheer him up, dumbass

don't try and stop him from being sad. depression is a symptom of stuff being wrong in his life. you need to find out what's wrong and fix it or counterbalance it.

the fact that you seem to have disregarded suggests you're probably just an attention whore trying to get others to tell you what you want to hear.

That's right and I feel for him I feel for him feeling sad just like you do as well which is why you came here to ask help for him. you're a good friend to him a good friend that he'll need to get better.

do you know when he started to feel like this?

His best fucking friend killed herself because of parental abuse three years ago, ehat should i fucking do to counterbylance it? Get her back from the dead?
I asked for help for this precise point,because besides from putting a smile on his face i dont know what to fucking do, you stupid cunt

Plus i didnt disregard the other guy because 1. I fucking think like he does 2. Theres no thing like that fucking number here in italy i dont even think wtf do they do and 3. If its something like medical attentions, he fucking has it. I repeted it like 5 times.

Thanks man, read above for the full story, didnt wanna tell him on a fucking website for his sake but here we go, fuck me

as I said in my original post: you need to fill the hole in his heart. he had a female friend who's now dead: there's probably some latent sexual anguish and some despair. he probably told her shit you can't tell a guy.

find him a girlfriend. not just a lay, but a girlfriend. that should fix him right up.

too many people want to think you can whitewash bad memories, but you can't. he's never going to get over that or be cured of his depression about it. all he can do is move on, find new happiness, and let that bad memory fade into the background.

also: try to make him think about the good times. "it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." make him reminisce - but more importantly, give him hope that he'll have happiness again. ideally by getting him a gf, or at least a girl he can talk to about his problems (that he can't talk about with you). ideally a hot chick and/or an emo depressed girl

you are on the wrong board

Everybody thinks about it at some point. He just has to realize that the choices he makes in life will effect what happens to him in the afterlife, that's the whole point of our existence. Killing yourself is against the rules or I would have done it a long time ago.

I already wrote that he has a gf, i never met her, but he told me about her, and he really loves her and so does she, shes also close to his home so she usually meet each others when hes feeling bad.
They have been togheter for a long time, but hes having this sudden worsening of his condition, so i dont think is the girl problem thats afflicting it

Ouch sounds really bad, the way you're putting it it sounds like that they were very close.

Maybe it would help him to know that she didn't kill her self only so he could do the same and she neither killed her self only so he'd feel bad.

If he cuts him self because of what happened to her he probably was really close to her and you can't get close to someone unless if they let you so she must of trusted him and liked him. I don't think she wants him to be unhappy and sad, I think she wants him to be happy.

When she passed away she probably wanted to see a smile on some people's face, and he's one of them.

How about you remind him that?

He doesnt belive in god, and so do i, i dont think a convertion should do the trick my man.


I honestly hope it is bait, if i have fallen in it fuck it

Its a delicate subject to talk about, the only time i heard of her was the first time he told me about his problem, in wich i remained in silence, because i didnt know how to respond.

If the situation is getting off of hand i could remind him about her, but for the time being i wont use that card, im scared i could do worse than good by remainding him of her