Post the best shit you've gotten away with Sup Forums

Post the best shit you've gotten away with Sup Forums
>also general greentext

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=mcWPy6XhZEw
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

bump

I drink milk from the carton.

Broke into a neighbor's house when I was 12 to just see if I could do it.

Stole pizza coupon. Never used it.

>intro 10 y/o me
>biking in a parking lot on my street atop kinda steep hill, but not too steep. Shitload of tall grass and thick bushes line the hill to the bottom
>One dirt path is in the middle and it has a pretty sweet jump if you hit it just right
>go to the start of the lot to get some speed and go for the jump at full force
>Sonic.jpg
>wild rock appeared
>big ass rock right where the jump is. It's too late to stop now
>shitniggaimhighasfuck.gif
>lost grip of my bike and fell into a nice bush
>it was fucking awesome
>look over to find my bike and it hit one of the neighbor kids who happened to be walking by at the bottom. He was behind some brush so i didn't see him
>kid is fucking KO'ed, my bike probably hit him in the head or something
>no one saw it, so i'm off the hook?
>hop back on my bike and bolt home as fast as my underdeveloped legs can take me
>never get caught

that gets me diamonds

bamph

stole a dildo and some panties once.

bump

shameless self-bump

I steal panties and bras from every girl I'm with and wrap them up in air-tight containers so I can smell them later

that's so cringy, but i'd do it

I break into the houses of friends and move their stuff around, never take anything but move things in the fridge and rearrange the furniture inch by inch

>im a 25 year old normie
>every day i see grills and can no longer tell if b8 or not
>each time it just looks like sluts are getting younger and younger
>Idk what to do anymore so I just accept it
>talking to this one cutie who actually isn't a slut and looks about my age
>find out through a mutual friend who knows her that she's 17
>she comes to see me while im working and I'd really want to fuck her brains out, but muh morals
>so sluts are underage
>quality grill turned out to be underage
>can't do anything about it

that's sadistic as fuck, hide the remote controls

did he died?

I use to steal from walmart, at first it was clothes but it moved on to art tools and even bullets, biggest thing I ever stole was a 2ft long knife. most expensive was $300 headset and $300 bluetooth speaker the same trip.

got caught, had a court date, total fines were around $1k

sucked, but I got a lot of stuff. I'm fairly sure it surpassed the fines. it was my first offence so I got it ex sponged from my record, but without getting it removed having a shoplifting charge on me record would literally be detrimental to the point of near complete-unemployable. I'm glad I got it removed.

I absolutely wouldn't do it again, and I absolutely wouldn't recommend it. It's not worth the risk, tbh

>be me 8-10 years old
>loved breaking glass still do
>fucking around with a guy i didn't really like in primary school
>we get to the town's graveyard
>lots of lanterns also some piles of wood from construction they had been doing there
>we both get big logs of wood and start smashing these lanterns
>there was also a large expensive tombstone made of glass smashed that too
>around dinner time so we both went home
>next morning dad's reading the paper with my mom on the other side of the room me just looking out the window waiting for breakfast
>he says "damn, some vandals broke a bunch of things and even a tombstone at the graveyard yesterday"
>he continues reading the article stressed out as fuck because you could tell he was angry
>gets to the end
>"the perpetrators are still at large"
>still noone knows

are you afraid of being caught? are your morals the /only/ thing holding you back?

17 is certainly not that far from 18, I'd say do it m8 but go slow and be careful. make sure she'd 100% before all else

I never really talked to that kid. I would've felt bad but like he was at the end of my street so idk if kill or not

genius

>ex sponged

You seem like the type that would get arrested for stealing from Walmart

It's more of like my friend knows her because they work in the same supermarket. If we start fucking, he'll know because me and my mate live together

get rek't

like she's a solid 7/10 all day and she's got an even better ass. Her laugh is kinda annoying but it's worth her fun personality. Would eat out for an hour. Getting an idea?

yea yea, like I said I would go for it. at most she's a year off. if she's cool for it, you might even be able to keep it on the dl for as long as possible

i'd say wait in it, better safe than sorry

>be 18 me
>8:45pm
>with friend#2 on playground
>school I didnt go to that owned playground left a door to their science room open in the back
>get idea(classes literally started three days ago at this school)
>friend and I go in and piss on a few keyboards/papers
>theres 6 computers and a smartboard in this room
>take shit on floor
>we left and started walking back to my friends house laughing our asses off
>we get better idea
>call up friend#3 and tell him to get to friend#2s house
>while friend 3 was heading up, freind 2 and I went to 24 hour food store and bought a ton of gross shit
>ranch, eggs, raw pigs feet, spam
>also by more drinks to piss again
>we met up with friend#3 and headed back
>make it back and me and friend#2 need to shit and piss
>its 10:30ish at night now
>door still unlocked
>they are asking for this
Cont

I feel you, maybe just snapchat and shit. She seems like the type to tell her friends if she's fucking me though. She comes in with them sometimes and i get them all laughing at my shit taste. Sooo she would fuck me and tell them, then proceed to make it a big deal and the rabbithole doesn't get any shallower

moarrrr?

Not much of a story but back in high school I used to throw hand-fulls of change down the hall when this retarded girl would walk by. She would get mad and pick them up one by one while we all laughed. The bell would ring and she would still be there. Never got in shit for doing it.

>be 7 or so years old
>find matches near dad's barbecue grill
>fire is cool
>it's summertime
>dead grass everywhere in lawn
>idea
>get quicktrip cup
>fill with dead grass
>try pouring some gas into cup
>take cup away from my house
>near neighbors house
>i fucking hated that annoying brat
>strike match
>throw in cup
>lands on top of grass, no instant flames yet
>strike another
>throw in cup
>cup engulfs in flames
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>realize i cant put it out without water
>go back to my house to get cup of water
>go back outside
>fire spread
>feelsbadman.jpg
>fire gets hotter, starts scorching dead grass around it
>oh shit
>run back to my house
>go in room, pretend nothing is happening
>minutes later, hear firetruck sirens etc
>fire spread to shed
>neighbors shed was engulfed in flames
>part of house burnt i think
>scared shitless i'm going to jail
>next morning on tv: source of fire has not yet been identified
>relieved
>next day they find out it was some kind of arson
>oh shit
>parents move like 3 weeks later LOL
>never found out it was me

...

That's what the Stasi did to harass people.

Pretty sure the age of consent is 16 in most places, so 17 should be fine? I know what you mean though user, I'm 20 and can't help catching the eyes of 17 year olds.

that's some good meme user

It was nearly a decade ago. We were terrible kids.

fuck, dude

I hacked the DNC and leaked a bunch of their emails. No, I'm not Russian....

in ny i think it's 17, but the age of people not judging you is 18. Friends are mostly moralfags except for two fellow Sup Forumsros so this is problem

it's still kinda funny

nah it's hilarious

>Be 17 in high school
>Myself and a few friends wanna mess with random guy in grade above us
>Make a fake Facebook account of the old lady who managed the ISS kids
>Message this guy for nearly a week
>Basically promise him sex
>Tell him to meet at the local Mcdonalds
>No reply
>We sit in car across the street and wait
>He ended up riding his bike there and standing around awkwardly for 20 minutes before leaving
>We all laugh but know we can never tell anyone else about it

you get the idea

literally i would've blasted him on the spot

Why not tell him to meet at her house for max kex?

I suppose that could've worked too. We just wanted to fuck with him. We achieved that goal I think.
We didn't want anything to come back to us. Small town and strict school.

>be me
>courier for some rich dude
>owns a casino in vegas
>get back to vegas
>enter one of the casinos
>see the fucker who robbed me from across the room
>stalk him, see where he goes
>follow him up to his room
>wait outside for his bodyguards to leave
>enter his room, hes asleep
>shoot him in the fucking face
>go back downstairs and gamble
>still not caught

i took his gun off of him, too
what should i do with it Sup Forums?

I broke into a random house while drunk
I pissed everywhere even on the kids

>17 and desperate. Bought an inflatable woman. Tried to use woman, no good.
>Returned rubber woman to store. Explained would not work, holes were too small.
>Got store credit and a look of admiration from the guy behind the counter...

pics or fake

>The night before graduation
>Fat bitchy girl's time has come
>We prepare
>Shave pubes and put in ziplock bag
>Park a mile away from her house
>Start walking with all supplies
>Find a traffic cone and take that too for some reason
>Get to her trailer of a house
>Smear vaseline over all windows of her family's shitty van
>Stick pubes to the windshield
>Throw the traffic cone on there for good measure
>Wrap the entire top of the car in saran wrap
>Leave
>Day of graduation
>Hear her complaining loudly about the car
>Smile

travel back to the commonwealth with it. i heard they have someone that specializes in that feild.

bump

Looking back on high school... I was a bad person. Never got caught though... Now I'm a decent boring person. Feels good.

last time i heard there were only settlements that needed help there

>I'm 21 and in a relationship
>she's like a 7.5/10 and really nice tits
>her sense of humor sucks and the only good thing about her is her appearance and similar taste in hobbies
>every time i try to fuck her she denies me
>so i go to a weekend music festival and while im there i meet a couple of super fine older chicks (early-mid 30's) one has her bf with her
>we all get super fucking drunk and go streaking
>after we streak i start feeling the one withtats up, the one who has a bf
>they're swingers and into it
>DIAMONDS.jpg
>before we know it me and the bf are fingering and eating the girls out
>both girls suck my dick at the same time
>longestyeahboyever.mp3
>we fuck like 10 feet from their tent, the tent has the kid of the girl im fucking in it
>oops, oh well kiddo your mommy has a sweet ass
>pull out in time because who needs condoms
>apparently my brother and dad saw me fucking this girl from across the hundreds of tents in the middle of the night
>come back later 10/10 drunk, in just my underwear, and happy as fuck
>fam looks at me
>that's fucking awesome dude
>slurrs out a thanks before passing out in my tent
>gf has no idea i got blown by 2 chicks and fucked one of them
>should've put out cunt

>I'm 21 and in a relationship
>she's like a 7.5/10 and really nice tits
>her sense of humor sucks and the only good thing about her is her appearance and similar taste in hobbies
>every time i try to fuck her she denies me
>so i go to a weekend music festival and while im there i meet a couple of super fine older chicks (early-mid 30's) one has her bf with her
>we all get super fucking drunk and go streaking
>after we streak i start feeling the one with these awesome tats up, the one who has a bf
>they're swingers and into it
>DIAMONDS.jpg
>before we know it me and the bf are fingering and eating the girls out
>both girls suck my dick at the same time
>longestyeahboyever.mp3
>we fuck like 10 feet from their tent, the tent has the kid of the girl im fucking in it
>oops, oh well kiddo your mommy has a sweet ass
>pull out in time because who needs condoms
>apparently my brother and dad saw me fucking this girl from across the hundreds of tents in the middle of the goddamn night
>come back later 10/10 drunk, in just my underwear, and happy as fuck
>fam looks at me
>"that's fucking awesome dude"
>slurrs out a "tanks" before passing out in my tent
>gf has no idea i got blown by 2 chicks and fucked one of them
>should've put out cunt

There's an echo in here...

oops

There's an echo in here ...

yeah i know i had a mildly autistic moment

shoot Caesar with it

Stole benzos from the farmacy.
I felt so crackhead at the time kek

> be me 17
> doing fun shit at my local park with my friends
> one of my friends was doing a trick on his bike
> but a kid fucking ran into the bike
> the kid started crying his eyes out
> oh shit.jpg
> the kid's mother comes over
> she's pregnant
> she yells at everyone individually
> when she get to one of my friends let call him harvery for privacy
> Harvey calls her a cock shallower and proceeds to falcon punch the stomach
> she starts bleeding
> she starts screaming
> fuck
> Harvey just runs hell for fucking leather
> we all do after havery does.
> be me now 20
> still friends with harvery and all the others
> MFW im a friend of a guy who killed a unborn baby
> I still think about what happened 3 years ago

there's a samefag in here...

>implying you aren't still a crackhead
>implying

LOSS
O
S
S

Convinced a girl on kik after one semi nude of her was posted (after the thread ended) that I could remove all the other pics posted off Sup Forums and the Internet, if she sent them to me so I could reverse image search for their location. Ended up getting about 30 nudes.

fuck

winrar

...

Top kek needs screencap

KEN KEK KEKKEDY KEK

Still have it up ur ass now by sounds of it

...

yea boy

I fucked loads of 16/17yr old's right up my 30th they fit as fuck an easy to get into

fucked my friend's younger sister while she was drunk/high after a party. thought I got away with it but turns out that she vaguely remembered it but didn't really care

i went over to my friend's house after they moved, his mom was fuckin sexy, most of their stuff was still in boxes and when they were asleep since i spent the night i stole some of her panties from the boxes since they were downstairs

god tier

we'll see

Wew lad

>Be me at 20
>Meet a girl at the bowling alley
>sexy as fuck goth girl with big tits
>says she's 18
>two weeks of nutting in her mouth and pussy
>kinky slut liked to be choked and hit during sex
>finally find out that she was only 15
>keep having sex with her for a few more months
>never got caught.

liquisha shakinda

What the fuck is a 2 ft knife? Was it a sword? Or a machete?

youtube.com/watch?v=mcWPy6XhZEw