I've been with my gf for coming up three years, I love her and the relationship is good, but recently things have been going in a direction I don't like. For the past several months, she is distracted and withdrawn when we hang out. It's not intentional like a silent treatment or anything, more like she's too comfortable and doesn't put in any effort to engage. Sex became less frequent and she falls asleep right afterwards or by 9:30, whichever is first. We finally talked about it and her solution was to cut down our time together, which is already only for a few hours in the evenings between our work schedules, because she hasn't been able to put in as much free time into her hobbies since picking up extra days at work. She also told me that she doesn't want to have sex as often and from now on, just won't when she doesn't want to. I'm not happy with either of these changes but I agreed to them because I didn't know another solution. Any advice?
I've been with my gf for coming up three years, I love her and the relationship is good...
she´s cheating and check it
nigger what?
what in the fuck are you talking about?
unchecked. I'm a good deal out of her league and I trust her. She doesn't think she has to put in effort, or thinks the little effort she puts in is enough, or somwthing
nigger in the closet, sorry m8
what? i want to teach this fisher a lesson cuz he is trying to catch the white whale
what is your problem with that?
once a woman goes black, she's a fithy slut that should not be taken back
Then dump her fgt. She'll lift her game or get left behind
Shes taken a step back so you take 2. She either comes forward with effort or you keep walking.
Make sure you've had her ass b4 you curbstomp her though
thanks man
off our high horse are we? I remember only yesterday you called me what was it again? a brat?
Dude if shes already said she doesnt want to have sex as often, shes hardly gonna agree to anal at this point is she
that's the thing, we were fucking three times a day, she's got an oral fetish, she suggested we try anal, she would suck my cock in my sleep. but she just slowly lost her sex drive, idk
Ugh that sucks but it happens when girls get too comfortable. The only advice I can give is withdraw a bit in response to her withdrawing, don't chase her or act needy or whiny. Act like you dont give a shit and do LESS with her, go out without her and stuff
I think people are right that you shouldn't be whiny and should be assertive..but taking a step back is a pretty risk and bad decision. It's hard to make things work long-term, and that spark doesn't usually come from a reset--it comes from finding inventive ways to make life together new and exciting and finding a way to help her feel satisfied in life outside of the confines of your relationship. The fact that you don't see her as your equal probably screws your relationship over a lot, and though she'll hang onto your dick for a long time, she'll eventually desire new dick just because you seem a bit one-dimensional (i.e. think you're better than her but can't get her to fuck you as often as you like). The problem's probably not the sex but that you don't really offer her a whole lot personally outside of the relationship given the time she pours into it.
yeah, that's what I figured I should do, it just sucks because everything was so great for so long. this shit didn't start up until about 3 months ago, she was still a freak like 2 years in, and just as sweet and loving and attentive as in the beginning. we've always been really close so I don't like that I have to pull back even more
The thing is, there's no guarantee that pulling back will encourage her to move towards you again, she may already be checking out of the relationship. In which case nothing will help.
But if shes just taking you for granted, you being a bit more unavailable might be what she needs to appreciate you again. Try not replying to her texts, stuff like that. As if your life is really busy. It's a cliche but it works
Sounds like she's cheating on you and pulling away slowly
I tolerated the sex going down from near constant to like 3 times a week, but at this point it's not enough. I have a high sex drive and now we only fuck when she feels like it, which is apparently once or twice a week if she's trying to go to sleep quickly. I won't cheat and I don't think this is worth breaking up over, but I feel that she's just doing whatever the hell she wants now with no consideration for me
OP here, there's no way she's cheating. she works and goes to school, we live together, and I have total access to her phone. she doesn't have a car so I drive her to work and school, we have a lot of the same classes, and we work at the same place. bitch would have to be a time traveller to fit another dude into her schedule.
Sounds like you've pretty much taken away her opportunities to have an interesting life. No wonder she doesn't want to fuck you as often. Pull back the reigns control freak
Smoke a blunt, then have fun. It turely connects people.
Also talk to her how she feels, AND THEN how you feel about it. She can't be the egocentric bitch she is right now, your emotions are as valuable as hers.
She put up with sex when she didn't want to, maybe just ask her why she doesn't want to.
There may be a deeper reason behind it.
Maybe your relationship has run out, maybe she has a lover, you obviously don't talk enough.
she wants space to be an individual, you needy faggot
does she need to tattoo it on your forehead?
you'll smother her and she'll leave. its just a matter time
...
As someone happily married and with the same girl for 14 years, dump her.
If she's making that little effort three years into the relationship, then she ain't a keeper trust me. Better to rip the bandaid off now and be that much closer to finding someone more compatible with you. When the relationships works, it's not a chore or a favor to spend time with you or fuck you silly.
She's fuckin other dudes. Pretty damn obvious. Girls are generally horny as fuck
The solution to the not enough sex complaint was even less sex? She's cheating on you.
>she wants space to be an individual, you needy faggot
how's it needy to want to spend a few hours a day with someone? There's no reason she can't work on her hobbies with him in the same house doing his own thing.
>you'll smother her and she'll leave. its just a matter time
spoken like a virginfag. Who cares if she leaves if she's not making effort in the relationship.
we smoke and talk all the time man. this shit came about because I asked her what she wanted to do to to fix it or feel more comfortable. her solution was even less time together and less sex. I complied but I'm not happy with it, that's why I'm here.
Truth. Once they stop trying to please you it's over. I've been married for a decade and the sex is still hot as hell. It's not usually 4 times per day anymore, but that's due to having kids.
She never says no when I want it even if she's not in the mood.
definite "less sex" how many times a week
You are here, because you didn't find the root to the problem. Go deep inside of your mind and think about if she does fit to you. If she does great, then make an effort, if she doesn't then dump her.
Also do a suprise or something.
this
this depresses me so much, she's my oneitis and we have been perfectly compatible for our whole relationship, and suddenly it's a chore and she doesn't seem to be into sex anymore. like she'll do it but she's not really participating
went from like 15 times a week to 5, then now down to 2-3
relationship or not, youve never just wanted to be left the fuck alone to pick your ass without someone questioning it? shes not happy and wants space, thats all there is to it
>spoken like a virginfag. Who cares if she leaves if she's not making effort in the relationship.
im happily married, also been 'that guy' in the past and pushed one away, i know what im talking about. youre the type whos looking for a second mother
she has the entire weekend alone, which amounts to like 3 evenings to fuck around and do nothing. I work when she's off and she works in the day when I'm sleeping. I'm only asking for like 2 4 hour windows of time, and now she's cutting it down again
I would say that this is normal for longer relationships... It just goes off after some time...plus guys want to fuck more in general
youre not getting it
you share a vehicle. you live together. work together. go to the same school and have some of the same classes
thats unhealthy as fuck dude. anyway, im done being trolled i need another cup of coffee
it's a sharp drop off. I was Nutting inside her twice a day and getting my dick sucked like every morning for 2 years solid. then it's down to once every few days, now I get laid twice a week if I'm lucky
we're saving up to get married, and all this other shit is her idea. she copies my class schedule, got me a job at her workplace, didn't buy a car.. this isn't some sudden thing. we've been all good this whole time and didn't rush the commitment. she's putting in no effort like the few hours a week I actually get to see her, her presence should be enough.
>we're saving up to get married
kek thats what you think. you havent even hit the 7 year itch and youre already spazzing out
>she's putting in no effort like the few hours a week I actually get to see her
a person doesnt have to be asked to put effort into something theyre happy with. that should be a clue right there. read this paragraph three times and let it sink into your dome piece
I guess that's an answer. I will feel this out, if she's just coasting I guess it's the boot
If your "girlfriend" needs to spend time away from you to get up the energy to be "into you" when she's around you. It's over. Move on.
Did that once. Dated a chick for 5 years and just got tired of who she was.
You think that makes you uncheatable against? Im not saying that she is BUT she very well could be a lesbian for all yo know. Women can be very secretive. HOW OLD CAN I ASK IS SHE AND YOU??
ouch. thanks for the honesty, I don't think I'd be able to tell myself this
we're both 21. and of course she could, I trust her and she's pretty busy though.
People can meet and fuck in minutes... Being busy is no excuse but you 2 are young. Is this the last chick you plan on ever fucking?
It is healthy to spend time away from each other, but using that as an excuse to try and "improve" the relationship is a far cry from the real issue. She is either bored, unchallenged, or unstimulated or a combination of the three. I was all 3 when I dumped my five year gf. I grew up and she didn't. I went to college and she didn't. I had more intellectual interests, and she didn't. Just examples ok how to fish your brain for what is really going on here. Hope this helps.
As SOON as a chick stops wanting to give you sex, she is emotionally disconnecting from you. Their inner thighs are tied directly to their feelings about you. Unless you paid for it and I hope you wrapped it up!!
nigga that's a red flag she's found someone at her work and they're fucking like monkeys in a rain forest, RUN NIGGA RUN
I hope your delusional world gets you threw each day "happy" Mine doesnt
Not OP, but this is what's happening with my gf of 3 years, except it's me who barely ever wants to fuck.
I hadn't had the experience of not being able to get hard before. Considering how insanely high my sex drive is, it was pretty fucked up.
I feel like shit because she's a sweet person, but I've been trying to teach this girl how to have sex for 3 years now and it's like she just has no long term memory, so she never gets any better.
have to second the various messages here. she is one hundred percent cheating on you.
When they stop fucking you, it means they are fucking but not you.
>she takes one step backward
>you take two
>she doesn't catch up keep walking
>that means you're behind her
>does that mean walk backwards?
The fuck am I reading
Just do a 360 and walk away.
Im sorry but the slowing down of sex is a big sign that your relationship is coming to an end. She may or may not be cheating on you, but either way, she doesn't love you as much as she used to. I would prepare for a break up and try get over her as quickly as possible.
woo, I've been with my BF for a while too, I could never see myself turning down sex. ever. But then again I have a stupidly high sex drive, he usually only wants to have sex three times a week lol