Tfw 23 and still can't tie my shoes properly on my own

>tfw 23 and still can't tie my shoes properly on my own
Are there any flicks that deliver easy-to-follow instructions?

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>29 years old and never learned to ride a bike

wew

All trolling aside I never learned until 5th grade. 11-12 years old, I can't remember.

I'm 22 and i can't do it either
what the fuck is this shoe-lacing meme all about
someone explain

>40 years old and never learned to masturbate

32. On 4 chan ;_;

It won't improve your skills, but there's a scene in Scott Pilgrim vs The World that you might identify with.

>22 yo virgin
>decided fuck it and got a hooker

she'll be here in like 30 minutes

how do i not make an ass of myself

is it even possible

ive been drinking for the past hour and im close to just pussying out and pretending im not home when she comes

There are 'adults' out there that tie their shoes with TWO bunny ears

I girl from my class taught me when I was 15
I kept asking for my dad and mom and they would always answer "haha no you're joking there's no way you don't know" and never taught me

29, can't swim. Any flicks about swimming?

ONe of Sandler's movie have him as a step dad of a blond kid (Ross' son) and there's a few scenes with show lacing as the subject. Not a bad movie by Adam's standard

>there are "adults" that can't read analog clocks or 24-hour digital clock system

44...

...Been wearing Wellington's since I was 20.

Fuck laces.

The Swimmer (1933)

I didn't get all that North, South, East, West shit down until I was in my 20's.

Was she a pretty girl

For years I tought you're supposed to cum in your underwear when you masturbate

wear your pepe mask

24 hour ones always irritate me. I have to think about it for a second and that sucks shit...just use real clocks.

>>>tfw 25 and still don't understand how to shower
I always call my mom when the stench becomes unbearable so she guides me through the whole thing

She looks like the jew from two broke girls but short
And yes she has the tits

I DONT HAVE A PEPE MASK

You mean like military time?
Because at least that's a foreign concept to the vast majority of the country.

Tfw couldn't distinguish right from left until my 30's

here you go champ

youtube.com/watch?v=DwhbMBvV5uA

just fucking do it. 12 year old are having more sex that you

>tfw don't know how to masturbate with hands
I just hump my bed and pull up to cum on myself.

>tfw almost 80 and can't tell a flick from a kino

Just explain to her that you're a virgin and let her lead the way.

but im scared

I fucked a girl and she stayed over and my house. In the morning I heated up leftovers in the microwave and she was shocked. This dumb bitch never figured out how to use a microwave

I do this and you can go fuck yourself if you have a problem with it.

>25 years old
>still don't understand the economy beyond "you buy things with money"

>tfw 32 and still can't go take a poo on my own

That's really bad for you and can give you erectile dysfunctions.

At this point you might not care but I endeavour that you stop and learn to do it more safely.

will that actually work?

what if she just laughs?

ask your mom to come over and hold your hand then fkn fagit

There's more to it?

Get Velcro shoes

How's grade school going?

no one does
they just, pretend

It just hurts when I try to use my hands, unless I just use my palm.

28
can't ride a bike

>he doesn´t have velcro shoes
holy fuck you loser
next you´ll tell me you don´t even have heelies

I doubt she will, considering she has a vested interest in getting paid. It probably makes her job easier, too, and puts her more at ease about her safety. I've never hired a prostitute, though, so I'm just speculating.

Big Daddy

Loop swoop and pull

> 20 amd can't drive
> no one to teach me
> spaghetti arms can't pull the hand break
Pls someone come over and kill me

Those shoes are a hallmark of severe autism though. Like, legit severe autism/heavily disabled people. Why would you suggest your fellow user become a social outcast?

its pretty autistic but i have little clips somewhat similar to this

my pants cover them up if i go out and if i'm wearing shorts i'm wearing my birks anyway so w/e, we all know i'm a sperg anyway

It's a parking brake, bruh, it's fine.
As for learning how to drive, no one really needs to 'learn' how to drive, you just get used to it.

What you need to learn is specific things like parallel parking or driving manual.
You'll be able to pass the written test off the top of your head probably, but you can find your local manual online or at the DMV for free.

I thought this was /r9k/ my bad

I don't even know how the US economy works, much less some sort of self-sustaining one

cars are going to be automated in a few years so why bother learning at this point?

kill yourself

Don't tell her anything, just be nice and polite. See, prostitutes are the opposite of normal women and the nicer you are to them, the more they want to fuck you.

You are fucking stupid.
Anyone who buys this shit is a fucking moron. Just learn how to do it.
If someone has a legitimate issue with their fingers, they can get velcro.

>but short
kat dennings is a womanlet

I just tighten the laces and tie them in a knot at the back of my ankle. Works fine desu.

How many of you can't tie a tie?

Take five minutes and learn.
Honestly, I really enjoyed learning how to tie my shoes as a kid. Like, I did that shit all fucking day.

Never wore one in my entire life.

>27 years old
>didn't get learner's permit until 24
>got driver's license at 25
>have still only drove once, for the driver's license test
Am I cool enough to post on Sup Forums? My mom or dad drives me EVERYWHERE.

Dont ask her to watch a movie or tv show with you.

i know how to do it but its much easier to just slips my shoes on and off since i keep them laced nice and loose

i used to just tie them off at the top outside loops then cut off the excess

i'm just really, really lazy

should i offer her a drink?

I am 23 and have no idea how to do laundry

no troll

They're not autism if you cross them over like an x

Literally me

I can, but I would never hold it against any who can't because ties are fucking retarded and we live in an age where you can be successful as fuck and never need to wear a tie outside a wedding or some shit.

film it for use bro. be like a guerrilla director

just wear a clip on tie nobody gives a fuck lmao

Incriminating yourself

thats pretty common among men i think

im 22 and the only thing i can cook is fried eggs

Just loop-de-loop and pull, and your shoes are looking cool.

Make sure to have boiled eggs at the ready for her. She'll need to eat a full bowl after the deed is done. Don't worry since she'll know about it.

this, and a few gherkins as well

if you can fry eggs you can fry anything retard just put it in the fucking pan

heheh meme

you're telling me there's another way?

fuck

>tfw 23 and no drivers license

just get my mum to do it

>tfw can only cook microwavable shit and cereal

Stick to a windsor knot. I have to be watching a video about it every time I do it if I haven't put one on for a while.

Literally this.

How do you piss at a urinal? I really don't know if you're supposed to pull your dick through your fly or just pull the front of your pants down enough to let it hang out.

My parents spend a few hours teaching me how to ride a bike because I was like 10 and never learned. I finally got it, rode around for like 5 minutes, and then I never got on a bike again.

27 and same

its a preference thing

>wasting time tying up laces
ive been wearing slip on trainers for a decade, so much faster. pretty sure the knowledge of tying my laces has fallen out of my brain by now

Pull them all the way down. You don't want to get piss on your clothes.

This invites rape?

>cant clean or feed myself but i can find any obscure movie/album/porn video within a few minutes

was it worth it

Sometimes when I use my hands I pull too hard and rip the skin.

>tfw 22
>tfw haven't drove a single day in my life

i get around on a Boosted board & Go-Kart.

same

not really, I'm embarassed by the fact of being this overgrown baby

Unacceptable. All bottles, buttons, and reservoirs are labeled or obvious.

What don't you two understand?

I just don't like how you're locked in with slip on anything.
Laces allow to a dialed in fit.

23 and no drivers license

It doesn't bother me too much because I wasn't planning of owning a car in the nearest decade anyway

What;s the point? I can go anywhere by train, bike or bus

Grocery shopping....oh wait, grocery delivery is a bigger thing now

I don't understand the symbols on the washing machine

They didn't make it man-friendly at all