Post your favourite greentexts

Post your favourite greentexts

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Not greentext but i like it

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Classic

Personal favorite
Also you are welcome op for the bump, this thread would be dead by this point

Oldfag here.

I was in this thread.

Shit was cash.

Guess I could contribute some.

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>9th grade
>There's a sweet, pretty girl who had her lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair
>Has very few friends due to her condition
>She's a fantastic artist
>My friends and I decide to prank her for shits and giggles
>I pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me instantly
>We start to hang out outside of school
>Sleep over at her house one night
>We play video games, playing some Twisted Metal
>Ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass)
>After a game I say I need to go to the bathroom
>Pull out big-ass scissors from my pocket (big pocket I was wearing jncos) go into her room, and cut the bottom-half of all of her art pieces off and trash them
>Leave
>The next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art
>I said, "I made them look like you"
>All my friends laugh heartily
>She rolls over to her table, alone, and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day

It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time.

You are a horrible person and i beg that your family alongside you get cancer

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It's an old greentext

This one didn't do anything for me.

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Then post the original D:

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>yfw OP dosn't know this is fake

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Not greentext tho

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a thing being fake doesn't mean it can't be entertaining.

holy fucking shit

literally

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>oldcopypastaisold

2/10

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this is poetry: doganus pie - THATSWHY

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I was going to post this one

that was the original

i think what this user was trying to say is that earth would need to move 149.6 million km away from where the sun used to be every hour.

That's a muscovy duck tho...

I'll post what I have

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>At boot camp
>in barracks polishing brass
>sarge arrives HALLWAY 18
>drop our shit yell HALLWAY 18 stand at attention in hallway
>mailtime.mp4
>usual shit letters handed out
>Pte Annonette you have a package
>was Ptr Annotte's brithday a couple of days ago package from husband
>Sarg need to check it for contraband open it here
>contains chocolate and soaps also has a a back massager and body butter
>straightface.flac
>Pte user you have a package
>Sarg hands me a poster tube has army buddies name in the from
>user you know the rules need to check for contraband
>pop top look inside
>cant figure out what it is. is that a roll of cookie dough
>user open your package need to check for contraband
>Sarg grabs other end and turns it upside down in my hand
>it slides out bounces off my hand and flops on the floor
>20" black double ended dildo
>ohfuck.jpg
>platoon sarg and corporals all pissing them selves laughing
>Sarge user that is contraband you will have no put it with your civvies in the locked room
>I don't it just throw it out
>No user you might sneek out in the night and grab it from the bins put it must go with your civvies
>end of boot camp Sarge forces me to show it's still in my bag
>mfw I have to fly home with a 20" double ended dildo in my bags