Sup Forums i'm having a fight with my girlfriend. a week ago it started when we went to the movies together, when we left this black guy came up to me acting kinda shifty, he got really close and started asking for directions. i got kinda paranoid about it and told him to fuck off immediately. he was mad but he just walked off swearing at me. at this point my girlfriend said i was a racist asshole and went after him to apologize. now i know i may have overreacted but i've been mugged by black people 3 times before so it was kind of a reflex. i didn't hear from her for 2 whole days after it happened and now she's still upset with me. how do i convince her i'm not some racist asshole ? i already told her about the muggings but it didn't seem to chance her mind at all. i don't particularly like them but i am definitely not a racist (pic unrelated) i have posted this thread earlier but i just got alot of trolls who said she cheated.
Sup Forums i'm having a fight with my girlfriend. a week ago it started when we went to the movies together...
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She's probably all over his dick right now sorry op it's over
You did the right thing OP, if you keep saying to her you're not racist it makes you look guilty. She'll come around with time I'm sure.
lets not start with this again. she' isn't the cheating kind at all.
i mean i guess it could just give her some more time ? she's already back to talking to me again and stuff, just wish i could improve her mood faster
This.
When people act sketchy, reacting with a lac of trust is a smart idea. If some white dude had done the same, wouldn't you have reacted the same?
Fuck her dude, thats how you become a SJW beta bitch, Women are mental terrorist and will push you to grow a pussy, Kick her ass to the side and go find a girl with libertarian leaning ideals, they understand the best
probably, but maybe not as agressive ? i genuinly don't have anything against black people in general but them muggings have made me feel nervous around them on the street. i know it's stupid and irrational but i can't help it.
i'm not dumping her.
have fun five years from now when your a cuck dumb fuck
>i didn't hear from her for 2 whole days after it happened
Experiencing a traumatic event like a mugging is bound to make you a bit wary. As long as you don't drink the koolaid you'll be fine.
If your girlfriend doesn't get that you get nervous around sketchy black guys because of the muggings, she lacks empathy for you.
How long have you been dating her ?
I mean.
She thinks you're a racist ? who cares ?
Is she affect by this in any way ? No.
Why the fuck you should apologize for something you said to another person ?
"i didn't hear from her for 2 whole days "
Dude, if she don't need to talk with you, for 2 FUCKING DAYS than dump her, she obviously don't care and you should not wait until she decides to talk again.
She is trying to put you in a submissive position.
Sry for my English.
Take some responsibility, even though you know you're not a racist.
If you take on board some of her sense of the matter, she'll loosen up, at which point you can gently manipulate her into seeing it your way.
telling her about them did help alot but she's still kinda upset. it was the first time i really went off in front of her.
we've been dating about a year. and I care if the thinks i'm racist.
i know the 2 days of silence doesn't sound good but she'd one that with a few friends in the past aswel, she just needs time to cool off
i don't really feel like i want to manipulate her. i admit i overreacted even regardless of the bad experiences i've had.
Well be honest, your reaction came from fear. Fear makes you react stronger than might be merited in a given situation.
This was a shit thread yesterday and its just as shit again today
No one wants to feel like they're manipulating someone else, but that's how it works. You want her mood to get better, faster right? If you succeed it will be by means of manipulation. Choose whichever euphemism you like.
I'll rephrase it. Take some blame. Say "that was a bit racist. You were right to be angry. I've got to improve on this." blah blah, etc., etc.
There'll be a moment when she loosens up, and feels a little closer to you because in her mind you've 'opened up' and finally been 'honest with yourself'.
At this point, you can explain yourself and make some arguments to suggest that while what you did was 'racist' it was in fact 'not really that racist at all'.
Bear in mind that the illogicality of this last part is irrelevant to your girlfriend, because she is a girl.
go back to your countless porn threads you faggot
Wat did you tell the black guy exactly? like what words...
cuz how did he not start a physical fight if you said fuck off or anything like that!?
im a macho kinda good looking fella. and if I said fuck off to a black guy he would surely start a fight cuz blacks have that mentality if u cuss them off they get threatened and start a physical fight. at least with me cuz im already an intimidating but young guy.
2 day to cool off ?
And you're the one who can't control himself ?
Ok you stay here with these other women and talk about your feelings. Bunch of sooks need to learn how to control a situation
i mean, what i said was already kinda similar ? i said i don't hate black guys but i've just had bad experiences with them so it did kinda have to do with their colour because of that. i still don't hate them it was just a reflex of sorts.
"fuck off man, just fuck off" that's about it. he didn't try to fight me tall he just looked really pissed and walked off cursing at me.
i don't know what to tell you, it feels like alot to me aswell but that's how she copes, i've seen her do it a few times before with other people and she was mostly over whatever the fight was about afterwards
She got BLACKED.
There's not a lot you can do OP. Here are your options. None of them look promising.
1) Engage in bipartisan rational communication in which both sides examine the situation objectively and commit to changing their perspective in light of new information. This obviously is only possible with a level of mental discipline no longer taught in modern schooling.
2) Appeal for forgiveness. Either convince yourself you were wrong (IMO: you were not) or do your best to fake penance. In some cases, asking for forgiveness is the easiest way to disarm prideful individuals, particularly if they're the type to pride themselves on how humble and forgiving they are (e.g. many liberal Christians). This at least reestablished communication channels, and after enough time has passed that the original incident has been forgotten, you can attempt to broach the subject rationally in a more pensive mood, probably from an unexpected angle that doesn't directly reference the issue. If you're interested, I'll elaborate.
3) Try to intimidate her. No really. Standard redpill advice. Don't admit you're wrong for a second. Stand your ground. Insist she's stupid. Since rational communication presumably isn't an option, you must employ emotional communication. Insist, without any attempt to reason whatsoever, that you are correct and she is inferior. If she has low self-esteem, this may work. Be advised that routinely using this as a solution will foster a dependency, as a normal healthy relationship isn't possible once this is established as the status quo for conflict resolution. After that its dominance for as long as you want the relationship to persist. It never ends, and you can't expect real support from an actual person so much as taming a slightly hostile creature you keep as a pet. Needless to say, be prepared to leave/forfeit the relationship.
If it were me? I'd attempt solution 1, making it clear that if 1 fails I'm gone without regret (tapping 3 a bit too).
She is an hypocrite and she cares more about the "good manners" with strangers than your feelings, she is not able to get in your shoes, not even for a second.
Dump her, i'm dead serious.
no body thinks they're a cheater until they do.
Also OP it is possible that she's trying to make you seem like an asshole so when she dumps you and goes out with chad instead you seem like the bad guy and not her.
Nobody wants to be the bad guy.
no she didn't.
i mean. option 1 seems best. 2 isn't that bad either since i do feel liek i was wrong on going off like that on someone who just wanted directions. yes my reaction was based on stuff i've experienced but you can't keep holding grudges against an entire race because what a couple of guys did.
i don't believe she's trying to make me look bad, she's already coming around a bit. and i asked her if we were still ok and she said i shouldn't worry
not OP, but that's some gold standard shit.
You shouldn't worry!? Dude these are not good signs, she should be reassuring you that she doesn't think you're racist etc explain that she understands not just say to you "oh don't worry about it, just ignore that I think you're an awful human being"
Come the fuck on dude this is fishy as fuck. I don't want to outright say she is cheating or anything but she is definitely trying to pin bad shit against you for some reason.
Best way to prove you're not a racist bigot is to find a black bull with a huge bbc and let her fuck him while you watch.
i bet he enjoyed every second of that apology
Don't you have a cuck thread to circle jerk in somewhere?
A little more detail. I cussed out a black guy once cuz u knkow... and he attacked me.. he punched and kicked me several times.. i was too anxious at that time to think of retaliation... but since then i avoid blacks cuz if i show a little animosity towrads them they get threatened and i think they would start a fight or something
She took the side of a stranger against you.
She'll do it again.
Either you'll wait to be tired to her shit to dump her, or she'll dump you for not taking her shit.
Or you'll just keep taking her shit. Some guy is going to, why not you?
not worth fighting for.
i am a little worried, but we are talking again and she's starting to come around.
no, that' is not a good way and i'm never doing that. she's not having sex with anyone else while we're together.
fuck off. i already heard enough of this bullshit.
she'll only do it if i act like an asshole again. she's not obligated to take my side if i do something wrong. just as i can call her out on shit i think is wrong.
SHe love the black cock. Dump her before you get blaids
You came here for advice. Weirdly, you got a bunch of good advice. You ignore all of the real advice.
1. In public your GF/BF should be 100% on your side at all times. She had a genuine issue with what you said, then tell you in private.
2. If your GF/BF doesn't respect your assessment of the situation enough, then they do not respect you.
3. If they do not have enough empathy/sympathy to 100%, without question, accept and understand the trauma and violation that you have experienced, then they have serious issues that disqualify them to be in a healthy relationship.
4. There is no excuse to remain angry (assuming that the anger in the first place was justified) over anything so small for such a long period. She is simply holding her ground because she is used to getting her way.
5. The girl clearly does not respect you. Are you going to respect yourself enough to leave her?
>she'll only do it if i act like an asshole again. she's not obligated to take my side if i do something wrong. just as i can call her out on shit i think is wrong.
Are you an idiot? She should NEVER take the side of a stranger, EVER. Fuck!
>she'll only do it if i act like an asshole again. she's not obligated to take my side if i do something wrong. just as i can call her out on shit i think is wrong.
If she was on your side she would have told you to go apologize.
no, no she does not.
i'm not ignoring the real advice at all ?
are all posts i replied positive to. all i am doing is telling the guys that say i should break up is that i won't. do that.
and i don't agree that you have to endure whatever it is in public and not be able to say anything at all untill you're in a private room. she's my girlfriend, not my principal who has to call me to her office to talk.
Everyone acts like an asshole some few times, your partner should always be on your side in public, it would be different if it was something against a family member but now it was just a stranger in public. And she would rather take his then yours, best case scenario she hasnt seen anything like it before and just doesnt know how to react to it. Be careful, OP
>She should NEVER take the side of a stranger, EVER. Fuck!
kek. so he can literally punch the guy half to death over asking directions and she should be ok with it just because she's his girlfriend ? inb4 that's not what happened. you said "NEVER" "EVER"
I agree 100% with user here.
I'll add that even if she didn't cheat on you already she HAS thought about leaving you and if the chance to cheat on you comes up she is even more likely to do it now.
Love is a strange thing, partners may find justifications in bad things because of it
>i don't particularly like them
Definition of racism
>. all i am doing is telling the guys that say i should break up is that i won't. do that.
I'm not saying you should break up, I'm saying that taking a stranger's side in public is an indicator of a relationship that isn't going to last. Acknowledge the red flag or ignore it, it's your choice.
i simply don't agree with how you view a relationship. i should be able to disagree with her in public as she should be able to disagree with me. and i've never ever seen a couple who treats arguments like their a student and a principel. if you don't agree with them you tell them as it's happening, not just let them do whatever the fuck they want and just stand there silently until you get home.
Well I've never ever seen a couple who fight in public have a lasting relationship
>just as i can call her out on shit i think is wrong.
>my reaction was based on stuff i've experienced
Allow me to explain the hard facts here. If you want to live a life forever in contradiction to those facts based on emotional reactions of your partner, that is your (poor) decision to make.
First a series of statements. Evaluate each as true of false.
1) Tigers have stripes.
2) Ducks lay eggs.
3) Mosquitoes carry the west nile virus.
4) Books are paperback
5) Canadians are left handed
The correct answers are the intuitive ones. True, True, True, False, False.
Albino tigers do not have stripes, yet it is true tigers have stripes even though not all tigers have stripes. Ducks lay eggs, even though most ducks do not lay eggs (50% are male, 5% are sterile). Only 1% of mosquitoes carry the west nile virus, but that is still relevant since it is more than the 0% of fruit flies that carry it. 80-90% of books are paperback, but its still weird to generalize when a hardback book is our prototype. And 30% of Canadians are left handed, which is significantly and interestingly more than the average rate of left-handedness in other nations, yet we still don't generalize this to all Canucks.
These are what linguists call "bare plural generics". They elucidate the properties of nouns without quantification. Adding quantification of any sort most likely invalidates the statement ("All tigers" is false. "most ducks" is false, "most books are paperback" is true).
Nouns are formed from statistical association of relevant characteristics to identifiable characteristics. For instance "west nile" is a relevant characteristics and "looks like a mosquito" is an identifier. Danger is the most salient relevant characteristic, but useful facts are also more integral to the noun than trivia. For instance, "ducks lay eggs" may help you breed ducks, but knowing the handedness of canadians is trivial.
Let me explain another way. Maybe this will help you. I doubt it, though.
>Girl in bunny suit mugs and assaults your GF.
>6 months later another girl in a bunny suit does the same thing.
>8 months after that a guy in a bunny suit attacks your GF with punches and kicks.
>Throughout her life people in bunny suits have been violent and threatening towards your GF.
>Another girl in a bunny suit attacks and mugs your GF.
>You and your GF are out in public, having just enjoyed a movie, a girl in a bunny suit approaches your GF and violates her space. She reacts by telling her to fuck off.
>You react by swearing at your GF and wander off to make sure the girl in the bunny suit is not too insulted, to apologize. You refuse to talk to your GF for two days and when you do are still angry at her.
FUCK!!!
She should always support you, and no youre taking it out of context by saying "do whatever the fuck they want and just stand there silently until you get home". If its something really bad you did sure, she can critize but not being able to just ignore or stand by you when you told a nigger to fuck off, then something is afoot
ehm... ok ?
hahahahahahahhaha
>Reply to Thread No.718846515
"Take the side" is not the same as be an accomplice.
Arguments, differences in opinion, slights, perceived slights to others, quirks, etc. Those are things that a healthy couple, in public, is united over. In private they discuss the issues and come to conclusions like adults.
So if you're neutral and don't really care, you're racist?
I don't accept that.
Fucking bunny scum!
but "something really bad" is highly subjective. if she feels strongly about this then doing something that looks racist can be really bad. so no i still don't agree that you should stand by your partner for whatever they do. just because you disagree doesn't mean you don't love them.
whatever man. show me a couple that doesn't ever have an argument about anything in public, and i'll give you anything currently in my bank account. that's just not how people work. relationships involve passion etc we're not machines.
(continued)
My point here is that all noun formation is statistical association with identifying characteristics, danger being the most salient. In other words, literally all noun formation is stereotyping.
The popular definition of racism is stereotyping of any sort. In other words, anyone who engages in the usage of nouns is, by popular definition, a racist.
The *correct* definition of racism, as used by academics, is the systematic discrimination of institutional power and discretion that results in a disadvantage to people with identifiable racial characteristics (note identifiable- this is why racism against irish, italians, and germans subsides quickly. Curiously, jews are still identifiable to neonazis- this has been proven in a lab). This institutionalized racism is very much a thing. The most convincing studies are by Sociologist Devah Pager. Basically, almost all racism happens at the level of employment.
But without bickering of validity of studies, even a cursory glance can prove this. Blacks live in poor neighborhoods. This lowers property tax, which funds education. Poor education results in poor employment which perpetuates poverty. Poverty is through all history the number one cause of crime. And it is absolutely 100% true that black men are far more likely to be criminals than any other race. Why? Because they're far more likely to be poor and desperate. And if they've been incarcerated, then they're more or less banned from employment altogether. Their only option is a return to crime, barring some miracle of opportunity.
You made a correct statistical association that this man was more likely to be a threat than an ordinary stranger. If a well groomed black man in a suit had approached you, you would not have reacted as such. And if a beragged white hobo with clear signs of meth abuse approached you, you would have likewise told him to fuck off.
In conclusion, racism is a thing. You are not racist.
This
Fuck op
Check out my shit
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this isn't how my life was at all though, i've been mugged 3 times and that's it. other than that i've had nothing but neutral up to pleasant interactions with black people. opposed to your 4 assaults and
>Throughout her life people in bunny suits have been violent and threatening towards your GF.
which wasn't the case for me.
ok...
>racism is a thing. You are not racist.
alone would have been enough instead of all the irrelevant stuff. i'm already aware that i'm not a racist it's in my OP.
Show you a couple. . .
I am not going to do your homework for you, dude.
>Look up divorce rates.
>Look at a graph at the escalation of divorce rates in the last 20 years.
>Look at a graph of divorce rates among people your age (under 30).
What people do, and what people should do are two different things. Couples SHOULD show a united front at all times in public. The fact that couples DON'T do so only goes to show people are fucking tards now.
Grow up, man. Stop making excuses. She is going to CRUSH you.
>i'll give you anything currently in my bank account
It's very hard to prove the non-existence of something. But a short rebuttal is: my grandparents. They simply came from a generation where one did not display "passions" in public anymore than one might suddenly drop one's pants in public. Such things just are not done. Grandma would literally be clutching her pearls.
These sorts are a dying breed, but they do exist. Not that you'll deliver your bank account I suppose.
In all seriousness though, you're correct. You should not stand by your spouse no matter what. Many people do think this way, and I understand that thinking, but I absolutely do not agree with it. My wife has an obligation to stop me if I'm becoming unhinged. That said, there may be something to be said in general for not scolding people in public. That's just good managerial practice regardless of who you're dealing with. Praise in public, punish in private. Don't get pride and embarrassment mixed up in these things unless you want a rapid escalation of resentment. Nothing makes a man (or woman) desire revenge faster than humiliation.
>this isn't how my life was at all though, i've been mugged 3 times and that's it. other than that i've had nothing but neutral up to pleasant interactions with black people. opposed to your 4 assaults and
>>Throughout her life people in bunny suits have been violent and threatening towards your GF.
>which wasn't the case for me.
Are you a fucking idiot???? I am beginning to think you are a troll. I shall rewrite it for you, muppet.
>Girl in bunny suit mugs your GF.
>6 months later another girl in a bunny suit does the same thing.
>Another girl in a bunny suit attacks and mugs your GF.
>You and your GF are out in public, having just enjoyed a movie, a girl in a bunny suit approaches your GF and violates her space. She reacts by telling bunny to fuck off.
>You react by swearing at your GF and wander off to make sure the girl in the bunny suit is not too insulted, to apologize. You refuse to talk to your GF for two days and when you do are still angry at her for slighting someone in a bunny suit.
DOUBLE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sure people sometimes marry too fast or are incapable of having a good relationship etc but the fact that it's been rising recently doesn't mean shit in my eyes. things were very different in the past. especialy in christian regions you'd be treated as dirt if you divorced. i know my grandmother had been beaten very badly alot in her marriage up to the point where her husband broke her arm once and still she wouldn't even dare to think about divorce because that's just how it was in the culture back then. that doesn't mean people in the past were better at relationships, it was just hidden better.
>i'm already aware that i'm not a racist
In several posts you suggested admitting fault.
>2 isn't that bad either since i do feel liek i was wrong on going off like that on someone who just wanted directions. yes my reaction was based on stuff i've experienced but you can't keep holding grudges against an entire race because what a couple of guys did.
My point is that you can legitimately "hold grudges" based on these statistical facts, and it does in fact justify your actions. Furthermore, the full explanation is the scientific grounding for your actions. I provide this both so you can orient own conscience, as well as utilize this knowledge when attempting Approach #1 aka rational discourse.
This user has suffered, and is jaded for his experience. But he *has* learned from it. This is a thing that happens. But it does not mean that it always happens.
>i got kinda paranoid about it
She saw the bitch in you and realized she wants a real man, not a little boy scared of every shadow that approches him.
Also autism.
yes i am an idiot for pointing out the massive differences in your first post. "dude these 3 events will just just as much stress on you as a lifetime of abuse" now if your second comment yes those are actually of the same caliber. and while i wouldn't react she does tes i would find it really weird why she has such a problem with people in bunny costumes if i didn't know about the past experiences.
>whatever man. show me a couple that doesn't ever have an argument about anything in public, and i'll give you anything currently in my bank account. that's just not how people work. relationships involve passion etc we're not machines.
Welp, There is your problem. You think a relationship that is functioning is one shows relationship problems. Your an idiot if you think good relationships are ones where people openly fight out in the open instead of discussing problems in private.
Those couples that are fighting out in public are also the ones that are shit relationships that are either going to end badly or they stay together forever hating each other.
A functioning relationship can only work when your partner is not undermining your position and vice versa. The most basic way to do this is you DO NOT argue in public.
i admitted fault of being an ass because ioverreacted, i did not admit being racist
and about the statistical facts, that's not why i reacted the way i did. i'm not from the US we actually have fairly low black crime here, in my country specifically turkish immigrants pull a lot more criminal shit than black guys do yet i don't feel nervous around them, mine is based purely on anecdotal evidence.
>sure people sometimes marry too fast or are incapable of having a good relationship etc but the fact that it's been rising recently doesn't mean shit in my eyes.
>It hasn't merely been "rising recently". Look up the stats. Then look up the repercussions of divorce on men.
things were very different in the past. especialy in christian regions
>Yeah, yeah. How do you know if anything was different if you refuse to do the research and educate yourself?
you'd be treated as dirt if you divorced.
>This was less true than we are made to believe. The US and Europe have been pretty damned understanding of divorce for close to 100 years. More so now, yes, but it was more common than you understand.
i know my grandmother had been beaten very badly alot in her marriage up to the point where her husband broke her arm once and still she wouldn't even dare to think about divorce because that's just how it was in the culture back then
>No, that is how it was for your grandmother, NOT "in the culture"
that doesn't mean people in the past were better at relationships, it was just hidden better.
>People in the past WERE, in fact, better at relationships. And that little tidbit becomes more and more true each year at an accelerated rate.
EDUCATE YOURSELF
Cucky
ALL FUCKING NIGGERS MUST FUCKING HANG
no, i do not think that good relationships have to display relationship problems at all. i'm just saying life doesn't work like that, at one time or another something will happens that is big enough that you simply can't ignore it and keep your mouth shut untill you're home. we're not androids.
whatever mr. allmightly know it all. everyone but you is uneducated. i bow to you. now go harras someone else with ramblings that didn't answer the question in the OP
You are simply disgusting. Grow the fuck up before it is too late, man child.
pay a black guy to rape her
lol what an autist. i assume you know everything about relationships in the 1900-1980 period because of the intense research you did on the subject over many years and you just happened to stumble on this thread to share your wisdom
This guy! Asks for help, gets it, and starts arguing. Fucking tool.
>Your girl is trash.
>You are trash.
>You deserve on another.
This is copypasta b8
I would advise maintaining a heightened state of awareness around Turks.
Furthermore, regardless of whether or not your country has institutionalized racism, it is probably not a coincidence you were the victim of a crime three times by black men. Furthermore ascertain that wealth is the real discriminating factor here. Any man in a suit approaches you, and you're probably not concerned. Or even just a polo-shirt or button up shirt of any kind.
Same applies to Muslims. You see a motherfucking arab prince with his entourage, you can be pretty confident that fucker isn't going to fuck with your day or ruin his own.
Unless you're dealing with hitmen. But you'd probably know if you've pissed somebody off that badly. That said, I tend to always be a bit jumpy around Russians in suits.
Well, I don't know everything about the subject. I do know more than most people, though.
>M.A., Ph.D. Brown University (Anthropology/Sociology); B.A. Seattle University (History)
If you care to learn even the first thing about anything you have to first admit you know practically nothing.
I didn't just stumble here, I was looking for some pictures of assholes and your OP pic caught my eye.
Best advice here.
>Reply to Thread No.718846515
Prove it.
>have to display
Holy christ you are either a true moron or a helpless brainwashed fool.
Either way just understand this. Your relationship right now is in a real shit position. Not only has your gf undermined you in public she straight disrespected you by being worried about a stranger over you. To further this you have shown you are her bitch by bending to her whims not only by your cowardly manner of constantly saying im not racist, but you have given total control of the situation to her.
So unless you like being the bitch of the relationship either fix this so that such shit doesn't happen in the future or leave her.
This is at least the 5th time AMAZING advice has been given to this muppet. Unfortunately, he will ignore your advice too, man.
Yeah, I'm done here either he a troll or a helpless idiot. Either way not worth anymore time than already invested.
She ran back to get his number so she could give him the succ.
No.
obvious bait
tell a white guy to fuck off
/thread
The beauty of it is, even if this complete idiot is trolling, our advice will still not be wasted. Others will read some of it and it will click with them. It will help them.
idiotic advice of some kid desperately trying to sound "alpha" = "AMAZING" advice ? hahahaha
Lurk moar
I once insulted these guys in the street cause they were rich kids when i was with a former gf and got me a good beating
She insulted them and interposed herself, stayed with me and helped me, even though she knew i was a drunk asshole
If your girl loves you she will always be with you, sorry op but your girl is a worthless bitch, you won't ever feel the rush of true love with her, you probally just feel comfort of not being alone but that ain't worth
Sry 4 the english i ain't native speaker and i'm coming down from a good night browsing the chon