Hey, Sup Forums. Stories of weird supernatural-type shit happening. I'll go first

Hey, Sup Forums. Stories of weird supernatural-type shit happening. I'll go first.

>be me
>be at a bar
>be next to a girl who is steadily becoming more and more drunk
>be confused why the bartender isn't cutting her off
>be prepared to take advantage of her in about twenty minutes
>sample some of the holy nectar myself but primary focus is grill
>eventually she's nearly falling-down drunk
>she is also drunkenly trying to make out with me
>i offer to take her back to my place
>she accepts, i prepare for the feces to be money
>sufficient lack of foreplay, she's all over me
>would be hot if she wasn't so drunk
>get to bedroom, process of removal of clothing
>something is wrong, can't put my finger on it
>get to the underwear and
>she
>has
>a
>penis
>she does not seem to realize that something is wrong
>i'm legit freaking the fuck out because what the fuck kind of creature is a woman with a penis
>she looks at me all hurt like why do you not accept me :sadface:
>at this point i've concluded that this is some sort of demon
>hightail it the fuck outta there, forgetting it's my house
>slow walk around a few blocks
>become more sober
>go back in house, no evidence of monster grill remains
>conclude it was a drunk hallucination
>go to bed sufficiently fucked up

I legitimately do not believe someone can be this retarded.

Yeah, I'm a dumbass for just taking home some random girl? The fuck kind of logic is that?

I... I.... What?

I once seen a giant flying orange orb in the sky. That's the weirdest thing I've seen. No idea wtf it was.

Okay, inb4 it was the Sun. It was moving around and it was during night.

top fucking kek for a second there i thought you were making fun of OP

I just worded it very fucking badly lol.

i don't get it
is there something i'm missing here

Among other things, you're missing that you're a colossal faggot.

ok, so nothing then. gg.

>be me at friend's house
>high af
>go home early
>feel tired so go to bed even tho it's 3pm
>someone knocks on the door
>It's a qt
>she calls me by my name and says she missed me
>i've no idea who this chick is
>I try to not sound fucked up and politely ask her to refresh my memory
>she gets mad and we argue at my doorstep
>something happens I fall asleep
>I wake up at my friend's house
>wtf.jpg
>ask him about what happened
>says I left and came back with a girl
>ask him who she was and where she went
>'dunno user but you fucked her hard bitch was screaming'
>still don't remember anything
>she could be raising my kid at this point

Don't do drugs kids

y not? sounds like you had a good time

I've no memory of it tho

but her uterus does
kek

>Yeah, I'm a dumbass for just taking home some random girl?
the fact that you thought it was about this specific thing, which is obviously the only normal thing you did in the greentext, clearly demonstrates that you are either trying to make somebody look stupid, or are stupid yourself...

ok, without the answer including the words 'faggot' or 'retard', is there actually something i'm missing?

Can I use the words 'mind-bendingly idiotic'?

your'e both underaged fucks that never smoked weed

and you're an idiotic faggot who thinks his thoughts have merit in the real world

stfu fag boy
weed will never make you forget people around you and everything you are doing, only kids think that

>"weed never makes you forget shit"

oh user you have much to learn