Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya?

Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya?

I once got piss pants drunk and had bareback one night stand with a girl. She tried sending me a friend request on Kikebook 2 days later and she was wearing ICP clown makeup in her profile picture.

Dead fucking serious.

Damn

damn you got aids bro

I pinch my dork off when I masturbate so it doesn't make a mess.
Without any lube!

Nahh I'm clean I actually got an STD test like 2 weeks ago

Uh, right this way, sir

Sweet I can't believe I got in!

I complain about women on an anonymous board for hours on end!

I kino my Kino'd Kino that now has Kinokinokino

I once bought white bread when my mom asked me to buy wheat bread.

Im 31 years old, no job and I still live with my parents

I see you too like to live dangerously.

I'm so tough I just had the woman I love break my heart and I haven't cried yet. I think I just realized that she was fucked all along. Heh it's funny actually. Mom was right all along.

My main board is Sup Forums.

And I don't shitpost

I hope everything gets better for you.

same but i am happy

I don't use any form of ad blocker

I've watched a Béla Tarr film without falling asleep

Oh buddy it hurt you somewhere you just haven't really had it sink in yet.

If this wasn't the case you wouldn't have just posted about it. I'm serious. I suggest you get strapped with some alcohol because the next few days are going to suck.

I have watched an entire season of Alf and only broke 3 laptops 4 computer monitors and 2 compound fractures from rage at how fucking awful it is. I'd say that's tough enough for anybody.

I went to Sup Forums for 5 minutes today and didn't even get a headache

Damn

Someone would describe me as a bit of a madman.

MY DUBS ARE 99

i'm the one who starts the french rip threads

Wow I think the world record is like a season and a half without suicide!

Well let me go into more detail. Gf and I broke it up but now she is saying things to me that I never thought she would. Like I said it's just dawning on me now that maybe she was fucked all along and I was deluding myself due to love. I am currently drinking so maybe that's why I'm okay.

...

I fucked a girl that had a feminine penis

Haha nice try motherfucker

Good, good. I'm glad to hear you're alright.

T. Going through some shit right now

All I really care about right now is that our baby girl is being thought of first and foremost. I don't think she is in the way my ex gf is acting but at the same time can I blame her? All the males in her life have been garbage. Either pedos or molestors or abusers and she doesn't even know her real dad.

>inb4 lol you fucking should have left her long ago

I thought that maybe she would be different but I guess not... in the end some women are just as they appear. And there are warning signs you can't ignore. "No father" is one of them.

*teleports behind you*
*unsheathes katana*
Much too tough for the likes of you

I didn't pay for my last haircut. I specifically told the barber that I wanted "a hair" cut and he cut all of them.

...

I saw mean girls in theaters

without any friends[/spoilers]

WHAT IS YOU'RE FUCKING MOTIVATION ANYMORE? Are you the same guy who starts the buenas noches mein fuhrer threads too?