So it just so happens that right now I have a sausage in my ass and I can't remove it. I also can't shit it out...

So it just so happens that right now I have a sausage in my ass and I can't remove it. I also can't shit it out. What do I do? I don't want to the hospital.

I have so many fucking questions. please explain user

Explain how you arrived to this point in your life OP

I somehow found this appropriate.

Well, I made some hotdogs for dinner, but I had one extra sausage. I was already full and I couldn't save it for tomorrow because I would never eat just one hotdog. So I put it in a platte and brought to my bedroom to decide what to do with it.
First I though to ask Sup Forums what destiny to give to the sausage. But them I realized that people would just tell me to put it in my ass, so I decided to think of something else.
Ends up that the lingering thought of the sausage in my ass was making me curious. Like, really curious. Not curious like "OMG I just want to feel this meat sausage deep in my ass", more on the lines of "What would happen if I actualy did it?".
One thing led to another and now I'm stuck in this situation and the sausage is stuck in my butt. What do I do?

Did it feel good???

Dude, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're going to the ER. Sorry man.

So now youre just sat there with a sausage stuck up your ass? lmao. I guess autism is a bitch, huh.

Don't do anything. the sausage is happy where it is.

this is the next level in egoism

are people actually this fucking stupid on Sup Forums?

It could be worse

...

Felt like shiting, but backwards.

Right now I'm actually squatting, with my buthole open, trying to shit it out. Had to put the laptop on the ground so I could browse and not get bored. Though my legs are starting to hurt.

I find this funny because I'm too dumb too cook as well as this user, but at the same time I'm smart enough that I would never stick something like that in my butt.

What is that?

I think you should just live with your mistake.

Buzz lightyear user.

It is a buzz lightyear action figure

>people would tell me to stick it up my ass
>so i decided to think of something else
>so I stuck it up my ass

If it is cooked, I really want to know how you managed this. If it is raw enjoy your tapeworm even if you do get it out.

Stick another sausage up there and eventually you'll poop both out

That, my friend, is a man with a buzz light-year action figure lodged in his ass.

An X-ray of a guy who doesn't know the difference between a Woody and a Buzz

...

It's raw. And yes I'm very scared of that kind of shit, the sausage is in there for a while now.

Someone post the green text, maybe op will laugh it out.

Did you try asking the nigger fucking your ass to pull out?

Wait, did you seriously slide it in bareback? The threads been up for about half an hour now. So the enzymes in your intestinal tract have probably already broken through the casing on it and exposed the meat. Enjoy your worms and some other fun diseases.

Bullshit. How could a worm appear from sausage?

Y-yeah... I thought it would be easy to just poop it out. Fuck, I saw so much porn of girls just pooping giant dildoes out of their asses with ease. How could a little fucking sausage be a problem?
Anyway, when I made the thread it was already about 2 hours of trying to shit it out. If you guys don't help me out I don't know what I will do.

Go to the ER fuck nuts.

Try using a showerhead to fill your ass with water. I was in same situtation except with a banana. When the shitty water came out the pressure pushed the banana out halfway. Then I just pulled it off.

I'd just wait op. It will come out eventually

Fucking a and e you stupid bastard, only doctors are getting that out of you

Just poop it out?

A sausage is shaped like a turd, turds never get stuck. just fucking shit the thing out what is the problem?

When I was a teen i shoved 3 golf balls in my ass and fell alseep. next morning they all shat right out no problem. small marbles are trickier but big stuff should be easy.

>Be me
>Wake up from nappies
>MOMMMY I WANNA USE MY GOOD BOY POINTS FOR SOME TENDIES
>bitch doesn't answer
>Roll my 700lb self out of bed
>knock over a couple pee bottles
>oh well she will have to clean it up later
>walk downstairs, taking a break to catch my breath half way down
>MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMY
>Still no answer
>Go to kitchen
>note on the fridge
>"user, I have gone out on a date. Hot Dogs are thawing in the sink"
>Nearly shit myself in rage that this bitch left me tendie-less to go out with Chad
>6 hotdogs unthawed in sink but only 5 buns on counter
>feel a slight warmth run down my leg and the room smells
>bitch cant even count right
>make hot dogs in the microwave and bring them all to my room for eating
>one leftover uncooked one left
>feel my anger building again
>might lose my GBP if mommy finds more skid marks in my undies
>decide to use remaining hot dog to plug my ass
>ass hole eats it as quickly as my mouth at the other ones
>panic and ask my internet friends for help on how to get it out

From what we know of op it's really likely that the water will take shape of a cock and become stuck in op ass.

Go to the ER faggot. the alternative is way worse than the temporary embarrassment.

If the sausage was pre cooked or is tied into a condom, you should be fine.

Honestly mate that ain't coming out properly anytime soon. If it was cooked it'd hve been slightly better but raw?! You've fucked up. Go to the doctors and be fucking honest

It's raw pork or raw poultry, there are a bunch of bacteria and other shit living in there that die off when you cook it. Most intestinal worms start as a microbe and grow exponentially.

> just fucking shit the thing out what is the problem?
Oh well this is what I thought some hours ago BEFORE HAVING THE FUCKING SAUSAGE STUCK

Can someone confirm? Does water helps?

kek

>marbles

well what happens when you push? you sat on the toilet, waited, pushed and nothing came out?

there's actually a curve deeper in your colon, and if foreign objects get up there you're dead.

if you wanna shove stuff up ur ass, buy a fucking dildo idiot

put another sausage up your ass to try to dislodge the first

...

>cologne/colon

took me much longer than i care to admit to figure out what the fuck was going on there. lel

Ok well thanks for clearing me up.

There is a hentai about this
and what they did was masturbate it out

"i accidentally a whole sausage"
is what you should say to the nurse

Better start digesting then...

op I did the very same thing but with nail polish bottles

This might save u OP, give it a chance, enemas are a "common" thing and probably safe

sometimes you shit out little pellets the size of marbles and they come out fine.

I don't understand all these fags getting stuff stuck in their ass. what makes the poop come out, why isn't it working on these objects?

Well, yeah. No matter how much strenght I put in it, it doesn't come.

I don't have another sausage, already ate the others.

maybe you should do an experiment and put a raw sausage up your ass. post results

Then shove in a peeled banana

Shove butter into your ass next, maybe it will slide out.

To infinity, and BEYOND!

try a laxative

>nail polish
Gee, fuck, u are a sick in the head user, not judging though

Go to the emergency room. You will give everyone a good laugh, and when you come back after you an hero, they will remember the good times they had with you. Stupid faggot.

link

kekky dubs

Yes, because what op needs is more things stuck in his ass.

So what do I do? Fill it with water and try to shit it again? Is there anything precautions I should take?

DOIT OP

I regret nothing

Get dog to eat sausage from behind tell him good boy then fuck dog

Pics or it didn't happen op

Never done one, seek on youtube how to do it

literally just wait. eventually it WILL come out. I used to shoot mad dope, and get constipated for literally WEEKS. after so much builds up behind it tho, it will fucking come out. just carry on living your life and stop thinking about it. then post a pic in a few days when you finally shit.

Eat beans and drink coffee, the sausage will come out when you shit

Well what I did was just squat and shower water up my butt. Then the banana simply slided out. I guess you dont have anything to lose since it isnt coming out by itself.

>Pics or it didn't happen
Now OP has a camera in his ass

If you have anything like lube or vaseline, you could try putting some inside your ass. May seem wierd but if it ever lowers, it'll help get it out easier.

/thread

>also pics or we don't believe you faggot.

Dogs are not that stupid

Fuck it, I'm going to be a waterbender now. Wish me luck lads, hopefully I come out alive.

>lube or vaseline
even shampoo or soap..

Post results

And the water will bend away from your nasty ass

Godspeed OP!

They plump when you cook them.

>OP comes back
>Guys Katara got stuck in my ass what do I do

If you wait. and eat a shit load of food it will come out in a few days. the answer to getting something out of your ass is not to put more stuff in your ass, faggot.

fuck you cancerous fucking bot

Listen up, OP. You have two options:

1. ER, but you don't want to hear that so
2. Wait.

I mean that: just wait. You should be able to eventually shit it out on your own if you wait.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO FISH IT OUT WITH TONGS OR ANY OTHER SORT OF TOOL. If you do, you will most likely fail and push the sausage up past the pubo-rectal sling. If that happens, you WILL have to go to the ER. That's how it happens to people.

Just sit tight.

DO NOT DO THIS. It could easily push it in further. JUST FUCKING KEEP WAITING and you'll be fine.

Or just go to the ER.

He already said he doesn't want to do that, and I don't blame him.

Good things come to/from those who wait, OP.

If you can't get it out, put soap in your asshole and then try.

Bad things can come to those that wait too. Like having to live with a sausage up the ass.

or just fucking wait like you should. Sup Forums is not a place for good advice. your're always gonna have 90% of people telling you the wrong shit for kicks. just fucking wait and act as if you didnt shove a sausage in your anus, and it will take care of itself.

its food. its gonna break down quickly. and soon he will be able to pass it.

>laxative
>with a sausage stuck in his asshole
dis gun be gud

>Im sorry user, but if you haven't waited that long maybe we could have removed the sausage, im sorry son

right. no lax, just wait, and eat normally. go light on fiber, and you will shit out that sausage in no time.

Waiting is really not a good idea because of the potential tapeworm and other bacteria from raw meat. You are giving bad advice, hypocrite!

the best advice go to the E.R