ITT: times you were The Jokeman.
>mom asks if I want tendies for dinner
>tell that stupid bitch I wanted hot pockets
>she goes to the store and comes home an hour later with my hot pockets
>tell her I wanted tendies after all
WHO'S RUNNING THE MADHOUSE, THE INMATES OR THE GUARDS?
ABSOLUTE MADMAN
>at school learning about WW2
>teacher outs on holocaust footage
>my mania bubbles up and I start laughing
>get suspended
>mom says she's really disappointed in me because my great grandmother died in the holocaust
>idgaf I didn't know the old bitch
cringed hard
>WHO'S RUNNING THE MADHOUSE, THE INMATES OR THE GUARDS?
>go to feed my betta
>he swims up all excited for his frozen bloodworms
>give him freeze-dried instead
>movie is rated 15 years or older
>watch it when i'm 14
>mummy tells me to be a good boy and put my dirties outside the door for washing, she's washing lights
>gather up all of my laundry
>take everything from the hamper, too
>separate darks and whites
>put on a dark load
AAAAAAAA HA HA HA YOU'RE LIVING WITH A CRACKPOT, MUMMY!
>go to restaurant with friends
>only give a 25% tip
D E R A N G E D
>only tie one shoe
TRIP?? YEAH, TRIP TO THE ASYLUM! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>autistic sister tells me to turn up the tv
>put it on an uneven number on purpose
D A M A G E D
how does this pic make you feel?
knowing this will never be you?
>Mom asks me to rent the extended edition of The Fellowship of the Ring
>Rent the regular edition instead
YOUR IN MY WORLD MOM!!!!
>wearing jeans
pretty good, fuck those pants
>in jr high
>see mom and older sister fighting because they are accusing eachother of wearing eachothers clothes and stretching them out
>sneak into their rooms and night and pull on their clothes to stretch them out
that was the only time i ever joke'd. i could feel my psychopathic tendencies bubbling out from my human shell. i have managed to suppress them my entire life out of fear for my own wellbeing
>hating jeans
fuck off
jeans are the nigger of belted pants
try on some dress pants, jerome
This, only poor people wear jeans.
Enjoying your JNCO's faggot?
>dress pants
this! i always make sure to wear my suit from the thrift shop and my trusty fedora
What part of you thought this would be funny?
Why don't you just watch an actual film or television show and have a discussion about it?
Sounds dreadful.
Also, TV shows are like 21 minutes long, I could make almost 50 shitposts in that time instead.
>dress pants
lmao who the fuck do you think you're fooling?
HOLY CRINGE, BATMAN!
Boys where jeans for swag
Men wear dress pants for class.
among other things...
>mom's husband (I REFUSE to call him "dad") keeps trying to be friends with me or some bullshit
>sets up a weight room like a typical Chad
>"Come on, Jaxon, the girls will be all over you if you build up some of those muscles!"
>he knows I don't go by Jaxon, only "Mistah J"
>like I give a shit about those barbie doll whores at my school anyway
>"sorry, wage slave...the only muscles I need are my intelligence and wicked nihilistic wit"
>later that night spray all his contact lens solution in the toilet
>he has to wear his glasses to work the next day
WE ALL WEAR MASKS, I JUST DRILL THE EYE HOLES EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEEE
MOMS
>being this poor
It's okay, maybe the interviewer will find it endearing.
the mcdonalds interviewer would definitely prefer if you show up in a suit
...
>mom said i should go out
>so i havent left the house in 7 years
IM NOT LOCKED IN HERE WITH YOU
YOUR LOCKED IN HERE WITH MEEEEE
>le reddit fedora XDDDD
I bet you can't see a trenchcoat without spouting memes, either.
>at the vape shop with my droogs Pauly and Cheeto
>Pauly has me try this cherry vanilla flavor
>I hit it and pass to Cheeto (knowing full well he hates cherries)
>he coughs it out "wtf dude I hate cherries"
NO ONE CAN PREDICT THE FALLING OF THE ROULETTE BALL!
Pretty bad desu. She' pretty cut. I wouldn't let that faggot touch me though. What an embarassing excuse for a beard.
that dude is still probably more handsome than anyone on this board
/r9gay/ is leaking again
jesus christ has Sup Forums gotten this repetitive? i literally replied to this exact thread yesterday and it had the same picture
btw someone post the gutter copypasta
>be me
>get home after a long day riding around on the train, staring freakishly at cute girls
>take off my purple joker dinner jacket and throw it humourously onto my bedroom floor
>notice how worn the fabric is
>it's covered in rips and brown stains and still reeks of the time I spilled one of my piss jars on it
>pick up the jacket and inhale deeply
>remember all the funny times I've had wearing the jacket
>put it back on, one last time
>one final joke
>stride hilariously out of my room
>travel up the corridor
>creep into my mother's room to ask her to drive me to the shops so she can buy me another white dinner jacket I can dye purple
>my mother is on the bed, four fingers plunging furiously in and out of her quivering vagina
>she's shocked but too close to cumming to stop
>about to back out but the jacket infuses me with the spirit of the joker
>leap onto the bed and whip out my phimosis encrusted dick
>stab wildly at my mothers engorged labia, ejaculating my dark grey semen all over her hand
>collapse on top of her, whimpering "m-mom's gonna... f-freak"
>take the jacket off my face
>I'm actually lying in a gutter
>covered in shit and garbage
>my mom kicked me out six months ago due to my NEET lifestyle
>pop the collar on my crusty tie dye dinner jacket
>point my fingers to the stars like a gun
>fire the gun and bring my finger to my lips and blow
>"See you, space cowboy..."
>tense my bowels as hard as I can and shit diarrhoea down my legs for warmth as I roll over for the night
>it's going to be a long winter
wrong pic idiot
>order $6000 authentic Japanese katana that has been folded a thousand times and can cut through steel
>when delivery guy arrives, tell him he has the wrong number, send him to the neighbor
>still haven't picked it up, 8 months later
>neighbor refuses to talk to me after stealing her toilet paper
TOTALLY FUCKING BERSERK
>Mom buys my a purple tuxedo
>Tell her I wanted the purple alligator trench coat
>When she comes back make her take it back for the tux
MY FACE IS THE REAL MASK
MOM'S GONNA FREAK
>eating a hot pocket
>feel my tummy rumble
>instead of using basement bathroom, go upstairs and crop dust the living room
JUST A LITTLE LAUGHING GAS HEE HEE HEE HO HO HO