Your mom hires psychiatrist Dr. Lecter because you have been ignoring college/work and just glued to blue Sup Forums screen and yelling " big guy", "4u", "Dr. Pavel",....
You hear a knock and gate opens.
>DR. Lecter: Hello, user.
by your superior Sup Forums knowledge, you know the truth of hannibal.
How do you save yourself and your mom from becoming sushi by Dr. Lecter?
Other urls found in this thread:
m.youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
>I want to taste what human feels like? Will you teach me?
How do I go from being the Will Graham to being the Hannibal Lecter IRL?
Dr. Lector, I'm FBI
Was getting caught part of his plan?
you kill and eat your parents, of course
I'd tell him, that many unhealthy substances have accumulated in my organism, for example all the aluminium from using deodorants, as well as all the dubious shit chemicals from all the fast food I ate. I would advise him to eat free-range humans from the 3rd world, or healthy and fit vegans.
He'll just feed you to yourself.
He won't eat me. He's too careful about what he puts into his body and I suspect I'm about to develop cancer.
So get cancer, y'all, and you'll be safe from le cannibal satan :3
Of course.
I am a chain smoker, he wouldn't eat me
Though he could kill me just for shits and giggles
lol, beverly katz would have used more deo than you.
i think hannibal will eat you user.
i would tell my mother that this therapist isn't working out and i would like another. that's it.
He eats those he looks down upon, not those who taste good.
>implying you will be able to rescue your mum from the charms of Dr. Lecter.
he will definitely eat your lungs since smoking essentially turns your lungs to tasty bacon.
Sup Forums posters words versus Dr. Lecter smooth words.
i know whom your mom will lsiten.
What would he say, after one suddenly begins to talk about his cannibalism? Get violent or deny it? I mean, I still could rummage around for a gun, or pretend to go to the bathroom and get an axe.
Start being nice to others.
why would you talk to him suddenly about his cannibalism?
are you crazy?
I try talking in flowery metaphors 24/7 so he doesn't get bored with me too fast.
This show was cancelled right? Good riddance.
2/10 bait.
i think my mom will join him in eating sushi made from me.
The guy who ate his own brains didn't seem to mind much.
neither will your mom
Then why would I?
Dr. Lecter, I'm FBI
hannibal doesn't seem like he'd eat every fucking NEET loser who books an appointment with him so I'd just pretend like nothing was out of the ordinary
yeah I always order my bacon with extra tar
what if he considers you are taking useless breaths and decides you need to be made a part of his "design"?
I wouldn't try to save myself. I'd be happy my psychiatrist is an actual scholar instead of some "people person" prep girl or a 60 year old grandpa who hasn't read a psychiatry paper since the 1970's.
you would still be happy if he cuts your leg and serve it as dinner to your family.
>You hear a knock and then gates open
Do you live in the house from lock stock and two smoking barrels?
me: You're a big guy
Talk to him about Classic Music, pretentious literature and cooking. Also, act like I'm totally Homo for him.
Did anyone expect the ending of season 2 finale?
when he was killing Will, i thought lecter will take abigail and leave.
but he killed her too. ;-;
You can't save yourself.
Hannibal will notice that you are uneasy or hiding something and will deduce why that is.
If he decides to eat you, it's happening.
With Hannibal the best you could ever do is not be crass or rude and above all else try not to be boring. And don't lie.
what if i shout : "LEAVE MY ROOM LECTER, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE".
Dead and eaten
Fed to dogs.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Lives.
>flowery
Dead.
Dead two episodes down.
Dead.
Progressing in his therapy with Dr. Letter's help.
Dies slow.
Dies with a load in his mouth.
The only problem is that he will know you know, aside from that, if you are a normal patient who isn't an IRL asshole, he will help you as your psychiatrist.
Tricky, because after all Hannibal didn't kill all his patients. The fat guy was out because his lover was in the game and fat guy was fucking it all up.
I would try to become interesting to Hannibal without trying to force some friendship or transfer.
If i'm not a threat to him, he has no reason to eat me.
>Implying Hannibal wouldn't be a baneposter if Sup Forums existed in hannibalverse.
imagine just totally fucking up the status quo, like right after you shake his hand you throw a fucking chair across the room and scream about how you know his secrets
sure way to hell if you ask me.
honestly I'd try and trick him into eating McDonald's at some point. I'm sure Dr Lecter would appreciate a good prank
I do my best to buckle down on my studies, whatever they may be. The fact I know likely means he knows I know, too. I act like nothing is wrong, go to my sessions and tell him exactly what's up with me. Listen to him and do what he says. I try to protect myself and my family by fixing what's wrong. Big of a monster as he is, he respects strength and self respect in others. I mean, if his plot has me as just a point in it I'm fucked, but if it is just a one off clinical case he sees me as, I might have a chance if I truly fix myself with his help.
how the fuck you would trick him into eating mcdonald's?
OF COURSHE!
nice try Dr. Lecter lol
i know dr. lecter would go for a healthy meal, not burgers.
He doesn't eat all of his patients, like wtf are you people smoking?
> The fact I know likely means he knows I know, too
Dr. Lecter knows everything.
yeah, but he has come to treat you and you know his truth.
how the fuck would you know that he would make Kaiseki out of you or not?
Does he know who moot is?
have you seen moot recently?
You just have to try to kill him several times to gain his respect.
I'd ask if he wants something to eat or drink and then come back from the kitchen with a knife and kill that fucker. Dudes a pampered psychologist, he's no tougher than Fraiser and will go down like a bitch. When the cops ask why I did it I'll say he was an insane cannibal, they'll investigate, find out that I'm right and I'll get away on self defense.
>he has come to treat you and you know his truth.
He treats all his patients, you moron and I have enough fucked up stories to tell which have nothing to do with him or me knowing his secret, he can't actually read the minds of others
Call him on it. He knows you'll never give him up. He knows you have his number. You aren't a loose end. And he knows you weren't smart enough to figure it out on your own. It's not a stalemate, he has you cucked. Keep your appointments. Talk about things that would blow your mind. Eventually, write a book about him, after he's gone away. Be famous. Then what?
Best hannibal food trailer ever
>he can't actually read the minds of others
[citation needed]
Oh user, you are so naive.
you would be pretty safe
if hannibal just killed all this patients that would be a little suspicious wouldnt it lel
i would drop some of the latest dankest amadeus memes to prove me value to him though
If I can beat up the actor I can beat up the man. With a weapon and the element of surprise Mad Mikkelsen wouldn't stand a chance, I don't see why Hannibal would.
are you stupid?
scenario is pretty simple. he has come to treat you and you know he is a serial killer psycho.
nobody is saying that he has come to kill you.
You can't be a step ahead of Lector. It's a character with heavy armor. He's Batman.
How can you surprise someone that can sense your malicious intent before you even know it yourself? Hannibal is supposed to be some sort of supernatural force of evil, like the devil.
you would have to kill him in one hit though.
again, would you take the risk?
Kill him and feed him to himself
>Implying I have anything to fear from lecter
He's just another pawn in my game.
i miss this show and its foodkino, even if the last season did kinda go to shit
>Mrs. user, i am afraid your user's addiction to that cancerous site is severe,
>I would recommend you that you send him to live with me for a month.
>he is a good boy and i will take care of him. Will also teach him some cooking.
now what do, Sup Forums?
A bastard son sociopath of one of Lector's patients that was never spoken of because it was forgotten. Someone Lector could not know about, but conversely the other would know of Lector because he's been watching his father- a patient. The boy would snipe him, because Lector was helping his dad. Why didn't he just kill the dad? Too easy. He can't let the old fuck off that easy. Not yet.
>I'm not actually that fucking sick, just spitballing here
>mfw
...
Hannibal was established as an extremely good fighter in the show though.
Isn't this what Bedelia did?
Are you? Read the thread, all of these mongs are acting like he's gonna eat you (or at least kill you) no matter what.
That expires in one week. You're not real CIA are you?
>good fighter in the show though.
Who beat the shit out hannibal again? There are multiple ones, I think, one in his office and once by morpheus.
>implying I wouldnt happily be murder bros with Hannibal and kill some normies with him (but only eat female meat since I'm not gay (for anyone else))
Nah, only Morpheus beat him in Italy and because he knew what to do to him since Hannibal had rekt him previously
And it really wasn't a fight, Jack threw him through a glass panel and just kept on beating because it felt good
Hannibal had it coming.
Even when he thought he was going to die he didn't really give a shit. I wish I was like that.
It had 3 nice cours that closed ok. It wasn't renewed but it wasn't cancelled either.