Socially awkward greentexts thread

socially awkward greentexts thread

>be me
>go to club
>grill im going with fancies me and i have no idea what to say to her
>her ID gets rejected and confiscated
>go into club without her cause some faggot friend of hers really wants to get laid by her
>i end up getting sucked off by some ugly chick for no reason that night
>grill i was supposed to bang stops talking to me
>they probably fucked and im a retard
>mfw it bothers me more than it should

anyone got any better stories? i like cringe as fuck greentext about social situations.

also thoughts on what i should do to reverse this situation? or just leave it since she hasnt responded when i messaged her? and yeah this is a disguised self bump.

what the fuck did i just read

really that bad?

fucking normie

this whole line of events just seems really autistic, like everyone involved was retarded

> be me 14
> tall and fat, few friends nothing crazy
> be playing wonderwall on my guitar i got for using my gbp
> group of kids walk over
> we have a huge stage in our cafeteria and a bunch of kids were hanging out
> fat ass whale creature named Bertha walks up
> "H-HEY ANOOOON"
> wtf
> "WILL YOU G-GO ON A DATE WITH M-ME?"
> mfw i realize what the kids were trying to do
> tell her no
> moby dick starts having a seizure
> her friends are laughing at her
> she falls down
> massive brown streak in her pants
> it gets bigger
> suddenly she shits herself so hard the school fucking shakes
> her pants flew off and liquid shit is flying in all directions
> her friends get covered in chunks of tendies and cheese poofs
> the principal walks in and he literally can't fucking move
> the whale screeches as she runs out of shit
> suddenly
> oh so suddenly
> she starts shitting and bleeding at the same time
>her ass flabs clap with the force of 10,000 planets exploding
> few hours later, im at home watching the news
> headliner is our school is under quarantine and hazmat has to clean up an accident
> tfw this all happened because i said no

this is my first one, i know it sucks

I'm socially retarded too, just don't dwell on it

honestly, i knew i was being retarded at the time but i just cant stop myself, cant speak for the others though.

i guess, wish i was born with the confidence some people have though

This also sounds retarded, but I was pitifully lacking confident until my junior year of high school. The best thing to say is fake it until you make it no matter how gay that sounds.

>be me, last night
>favorite cousin's getting married
>here we go again
>get there
>it's outside
>i'm hot
>sit on the bride's side of the wedding on accident
>realize it but stay there
>there's a tree in front of me
>getting teary-eyed during the service
>not sure why
>remember I will never have this
>thoughts of bleach
>at the reception
>not enough seats for everyone
>end up sitting on a fucking window sill
>family members not acknowledging my presence
>try to make small talk
>no one's interested
>food is gross
>no place to put plate anyway because I'm SITTING IN A FUCKING WINDOW
>DJ is playing the Backstreet Boys
>DJ is DJ Chad
>he's getting the crowd of ugly women worked up
>drunk aunt tries to get me to dance
>Oh, haha. Not right now, Aunt Drunk! I'm not a very good dancer.
>enter a dark hour where I do nothing but fantasize about different ways to kill myself
>every time I get up some asshole tries to take my one meager fucking space in this whole piece of shit
>favorite cousin doesn't talk to me all night
>say goodbye and let's get together soon
>we won't

i cant tell if this is a pasta, or you actually typed it all up.

You should have fucked your aunt, user. She was begging for it.

Dj chad here, i fucked OPs aunt.

*anons i mean

>13:57:27
typed it all out, original post do not steal
rate it 1/10

I've decided to mimic Clint Eastwood about half a year back, because I already was a mysterious tall dude. I don't talk, I wear my hat everywhere, I split off from the group to smoke my cigar, and it works wonders. Six girls already came up to me, and I hardly come out of the house.

Fake away, if you believe it, so will others.

5/7

Nice try, but needs more spaguetti.

that can be arranged

i pasted this into google and got "Lyrics - Keegan McInroe"

> be me 14
> tall and fat, few friends nothing crazy
> be playing wonderwall on my guitar i got for using my gbp
> group of kids walk over
> we have a huge stage in our cafeteria and a bunch of kids were hanging out
> fat ass whale creature named Bertha walks up
> "H-HEY ANOOOON"
> wtf
> "WILL YOU G-GO ON A DATE WITH M-ME?"
> mfw i realize what the kids were trying to do
> tell her no
> moby dick starts having a seizure
> her friends are laughing at her
> she falls down
> massive brown streak in her pants
> it gets bigger
> suddenly she shits herself so hard the school fucking shakes
> her pants flew off and liquid shit is flying in all directions
> her friends get covered in chunks of tendies and cheese poofs
> the principal walks in and he literally can't fucking move
> the whale screeches as she runs out of shit
> suddenly
> oh so suddenly
> she starts shitting and bleeding at the same time
>her ass flabs clap with the force of 10,000 planets exploding
> few hours later, im at home watching the news
> headliner is our school is under quarantine and hazmat has to clean up an accident
> tfw this all happened because i said no
> also spaghetti

added spaghetti

This all the way, if you believe you look good and are good, people will come

Made it totally better, Thanks user.

do you wear the poncho and six shooter too

you probably wont believe this but eh. i apparently look like ed sheeran and everyone and their fucking mother decides to stop me and talk to me about it, no exaggeration seriously, they say im just missing the lazier eye and im a little thinner. its not really the problem if getting people to speak to me, its the fact that i cant get the words i want to say out of my mouth and i always say autistic shit.

>be me 14 year old socially inept grill
>this awkward friend of mine likes me
>she's really obvious with it
>I play along for the luls
>she tells me she loves me in a kik chat
>i tell her I like her
>ignore her completely for the rest of the year
>she stops going to school
>top kek

Not really socially awkward for me but mainly for her. Woops...

tits or gtfo cunt