If you could have any animal enlarged/shrunk down to be horse sized, so that you could ride around on it and battle for supremacy, what animal would you have?
You also get another animal to just hang out with
Winged ant
>super strong
>formic acid jet
>big old pincers
>fast on land and air
Bat
>Fluffy
>super fast in air
>night vision (sonar, w/e)
>Cute
Other urls found in this thread:
en.wikipedia.org
twitter.com
A horse
Honey badger
Killer bee
KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!
>Winged ant
Also sheds wings after mating to become queens or ground-bound drones. Some kind of wasp would be better, like the tiny ones. They are like flying ants but sting.
Probably an alligator
Theyre not nearly as strong and tbh i feel like since we're suspending disbelief anyway that i should be allowed to use a temporary feature of an animal's life cycle as a permanent perk.
Youd get snipped
Youd get sprayed and then torn limb from limb
Praying mantice for battle
Eagle to joy ride
felines have evolved the same way humans have with their different types
Slow and cumbersome. Youd get sprayed and then sprayed some more and then out maneuvered and snipped
That's why I said tiny ones. The smaller the bug, the stronger they are when scaled up. I see your point though. I would go for the smallest breed of ground wasp. They are about the same as a flying ant but can sting. They are also masters of hovering around ground targets to get a good sting angle. If I could lock it into an age category like you said, I'd keep it near adolescence too.
Mantis Shrimp
Funnel Web Spider
Would actually probably be prettt boss. Would definitely keep Bat LeBlanc out of it's way. But Ant Garfunkel would have you
a blobfish
Useless. You couldn't even hunt with it, you'd drown.
Scolopendra gigantea
That wouldnt work though. Ants are strong relative to their size BECAUSE they are so small. If you made them horse sides they would die due to having no internal skeletal system for support.
Good choices. Mantis cant fly but they're fast as hell. But still, no projectile weapon and no flight = sprayed and snipped for you sir. Your eagle would probably fuck my bat up tho
PYGMY JERBOA
IT COULD JUMP 60 FEET EASILY
Bump
What? Fiestiest when teens eh? Full of invertebrate angst and what not. They still can't shoot anything tho so id stick with ant.
You cant even take it out of water but would fuck up anything else in water tbf so i guess youre lord of the seas. And really? Youd chill with a giant spider?
Killer bee has got body armor all over, a normal sized caliber wouldnt be enough to stop it. A killer bee is not slow! It would be so heavy I could just ram people down by flying into them, and inject deadly venom into their vehicles and kill those on the inside.
>They still can't shoot anything tho so id stick with ant.
*gets on ground wasp* Fight me bitch! lol
Whats that
A scorpion, that shit would be badass
? They have their support systems on the outside. They're just goo on the inside. I dont understand why it wouldnt live.
Yh but do what when it gets there? Nibble you? Stroke you with its giant creepy feet?
Definitely a hairless cat, if only for the image of riding down the street on a giant fucking hairless cat, skin rolls and all.
I don't think theyre particularly fast or agile. A fly would run circles around it. But then again i think a fly is probably the best flyer out there.
Theyd be the same size tho! Ant would be stronger, faster, have a much wider snipper, be able to shoot acid, and sting (obviously not as bad tho) but yh totally still team ant all the way
I WOULD HAVE THE WEAPONS
Hornet flies better and acid only repels hornet. Oh, wait... I'm not immune to the acid. Let me rethink this.
Indeed. Would be nasty tho. Imagine having to feed and clean it. Ants are creepy but at least if you kept it clean and hairless you coul put some decals on it and paint it and just treat it like a nippy little japanese superbike. Functionally elegant. Scorpian is gonna be gross and hairy regardless.
Harpy Eagle
You could totally fit a little sheltered cockpit onto it
This wins hands down, even without being the size of a horse
Yeah they are fucking cool. Would be turned into mincemeat by Ant-ony Bourdain tho.
Honey badger is badasss
Then... BATTLE ON! I'll keep coming back until you run out of acid, nibble your wings off, and win through air superiority. Get me with a pincher while I'm repelled by acid, you could win that way. Otherwise, edge goes to me. *puts up dukes*
I think we can safely say that winged insects are probably the way to go. Team up? What's your other animal? And your 3 weapons (heavy, personal, and close combat)
A vespid, most likely pepsis grossa.
I could tame it armor it (past it's natural amount) and ride it into battle.
I supplied a link for those who don't know what that is.
en.wikipedia.org
Exoskeletons work because their bodies have a very close volume-surface area ratio when they are small
Why do you think there are no big animals with exoskeletons in the first place
Surface area to volume ratio isnt linear as something increases in size.
Jesus christ. Those things are the stuff of nightmares. Flying insects ftw. Whats your other animal?
Team up? WE WILL DOMINATE! Other animal, fly fox. It's a great pet. Smart, flies, kind of like a bat with cat-level personality. Weapons: Heavy, Olin H&K automatic shotgun with AP slug ammo. Personal, illegally modified 9mm Baretta pistol that fires 3 rounds per trigger pull (used to own one until it backfired and got ruined). HTH, pride of my knife collection I got at auction for a steal, a 9" razor sharp titanium diving knife. Thing cuts through just about anything and never goes dull.
The first thing I mentions are vespids, it's just a vague categorization that wasps and hornets typically fall under,
Are you assuming that the thickness of the exoskeleton wouldn't grow along with the rest of it? Probably my mistake but i fail to see how a structure could exist on a small scale and not exist on a larger scale if all of the composite elements are at exactly the same ratios as they were before. And there were gigantic insects during the cretaceous period no?
Them!
Bring it on then bitch! I no longer care about your weapons selection since you're not on my team
Um... I did accept the team invite...
Give em the halo treatment and replace their "bones" with a titanium-aluminum alloy.
problem solved.
Tremors
Autism ruining the thread. We know the physics don't hold up, but neither does the microbiology.
A lobster. I'd chose a lobster
I almost forgot the other critical part of the halo treatment, steroids.
true, second that
Insects are tiny because their respiratory system is very dependent upon diffusion ("the slowest force in microbiology"): they have a hard time evolving to be larger.
Carabus intricatus
>mantis can't fly
like you know anything about pokemon
Hell yeah, a scorpion that big could fuck up some humans. Maybe even put armor on it.
Oh.. Alrighty then.. Good weapons choice. Get me some.
Colin Ferell detected. Why tho? It can only snip and live really long?
the biggest they have ever been was about 1, maybe 1,5 meters. It's not the problem of ratios you got there, it's about the oxygen. they don't have any lungs, they have some direct tunnels going to every cell in the body. If those tunnels get too long, they'll stop working
scutigera coleoptrata
You clearly don't know many mantis species. Some of them can fly, not quite as nimbly as a flying ant, but their hunting skills would make them a fierce mount.
that is adorable
wouldn't fucking touch that
shit would be fast
some very colorful butterfly. Then I would just flew to find some hot bitches turned on by cool butterflies. and a secong butterfly as a buddy, so she can ride it along
A pony! Because bigger vagoo = bigger pleasure
That would probably live in big wet caves
Only if they're the same width at the opening but with a greater length? If EVERY measurement stayed the same ratio to each other, just with large scales then the strictural integrity wouldnt be compromised?
I dont know any personally i just assumed they couldn't because of how they look. Gross. But anyway, mantis' hunt by sitting jn the same spot for ages waiting for something to wander into their path. Theyd be shit in combat.
Bat
Structural integrity is only one of the problems, them being able to breathe is the other problem.
You'd have to build them armor, with some sort of respiration boosting system in order for them to even survive turning into the size of a horse.
nah, it wouldn't work. The problem is, to complete te equality of all the ratios, you'd need there to be more oxygen in the air around, otherwise at the end of those pipes won't be enough of it for the cells. So some milions years ago, when there was a fuckton more oxygen, the insects were able to grow, no chance now.
And before you ask - add more oxygen to the air around you, and you're dead. Either getting older faster or burning alive, depend how much more you add
Vomit inducing stuff there
Id eviscerate your butterfly l then fuck yo bitch
Gross
A termite! Because my filthy neighbors wouldn't be jumping the fence to fuck it's strongly acidic vagina.
Just give it some oxygen suppositories, problem solved.
Fighting does happen with different strategies user.
If I had a mantis mount, I'd make an outfit I could wear to blend in with it and then find a spot to hide with the mantis natural camouflage. In this world of giant fighting mounts, winning by stealth could be superior.
So many questions with this one. Are your neighbours currently trying to bang your other giant animals? Also, how are they both your neighbours and also aspiring border hoppers?
you mean the stuff they give to astronauts? man, that's like super expensive!
a magikarp
Waterbear its a fucking indestructible shapeshifting hell spawn that will ravage the earth. I dig that
>I'll have to put on my Texas-oil trucker hat and tell you the tale of my people...
Oh I've got a good one I think.
My mount would be a horse sized Coconut Crab.
It might be slow, but anything with a sting or a spray would be useless against it and if they get close the crab will fuck their shit up with it's claws.
Manbearpig. Im super serial.
Definite juggernaut there. I think they look cool as hell too. Whats with the gross noise they make?
Oh wait i thought you meant horseshoe crab.
All you guys taking about insects, a jumping super would rape you.
wow really, nobody has said dog yet?
1. no, and they'd better not try to bang any animals I have or get.
2. bad neighborhood?
3. supposedly lots of people will hop the borders for a little pussy.
missed by 5 just think you could have said instead...
>a jumping super would rape you.
explain please.
A horseshoe crab would be cool too. But a coconut crab is more like a living ATV, they can climb trees and junk. A horse sized one would be able to crawl up steep places, be armed like a tank and be able to rip apart most other creatures with their strong claws.
More or less.