Without laughing

Without laughing.

I think I can fuck up a gorilla with bare hands

I practice MMA for 7 years now, boxing in parallel for 6 years, I could.
Not to count strength training at the gym for 4 years, 6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.
I have an insane speed, reflexes similar to my speed. I just have to wait for him to charge me, dodge his attacks, and throw good punches to his head. I won't stop, and at the smallest mistake he does, the gorilla is finished. You'll always have virgins from here thinking that it's impossible. First, nothing is impossible with will, my friends, and 2) that's not with your weak ass bodies that you'll do anything.
Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

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I dunno, a gorilla with a knife is pretty scary

fuckin Risitas man

Okay. Go for it. Get in there.

Also, stare him right in the eyes.

I would pay $500 for a nosebleed seat to see a fight to the death (or KO of gorilla) between a man and a wild gorilla.

I make minimum wage in a poor state too.
I'd go days without eating, showering, or turning on my lights to save money to see this fight.

I'd love to see a grown man have his intestines ripped out by a gorilla say at the Superdome in New Orleans or something

That gorilla has 8 years MMA training and 7 years kickboxing training, so you're fucked

ISSOU

la chancla

While obviously knowing how to fight is useful, martial arts themselves focus on how to best a human opponent, being not-a-human really throws off/nullifies a lot of techniques.

Gorillas don't have particularly good striking power, in terms of a punch a human could easily apply more force. Gorillas aren't strikers though, ripping and tearing is their game. If the Gorilla managed to land a hand on you anywhere, their forearms are so developed that I don't think even the strongest humans could break their grip. Subsequently their back muscles are strong enough to dislocate if not even completely remove your limb from your body once they pull.

>Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway. With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

lol

I would pay 1,000,000 dollars to see you fight a gorilla. A gorilla could take the strongest man in the world and literally rip their arms of with little effort. This is obviously bait

you just have to dodge dumbass

Off

heheh

Can you beat a light heavyweight in a fight?

I think a really coordinated, extremely in-shape, person who was an expert in at least a few Martial Arts could kill a gorilla with a knife.

All it takes is 1 or 2 perfect strikes to the neck with a good size knife to kill

exatly

Hah. Go watch a actual gorilla video of one letting his inner nignog come out and play. A gorilla is faster than even a geeked out meth junkie with a fresh Ritalin prescription.

That being said, no way someone could even KO a gorilla bare handed.

They would die or be on medical equipment for the rest of their life

this literally made me cry of laughter. I'm with this nigger right here

niggers

This is bait
Pretty sure athletes know how unfair the weight disadvantage is vs another bigger man, much less a fucking gorilla.
That's 135 to 180 KG's of pure muscle

+ Their muscle fiber is different. Good luck trying to knock it out while it rips your arm off.

Humans can beat pretty much anything in a marathon.

But that gorilla can fuck shit up.

A gorilla couldn't spend all day ploughing a field, but a human could.

We have different muscles

I'm twice your size and trained in taekwondo & I wouldn't even fight a gorilla

I had a guy break his hand punching me in the head a few days ago before I got out of jail

You're an idiot man, id kick your ass

The average gorilla is faster that Usain Bolt, the fastest human to have ever lived. They have a really low center of gravity, so any of the ground and pound just results in you getting tossed by your leg like a ragdoll. Gorillas can take full force hits to the head from OTHER GORILLAS without getting dazed. They have giant fucking fangs. They have 4 hands. No single human is going to beat a full grown male gorilla without a spear, without an insane amount of luck (and a big knife or something). Even if the guy deadlifts 405lbs, the gorilla will win.

>Gorilla lunges at you with his left arm in front of its body, protecting its vitals, and backhands your head clean off. Game set match

>twice your size
> 12 ft 3 in.

And I agree with you. I've seen videos of a gorilla losing his shit, and you couldn't get me within a hundred feet of that even with a gun to my head.

>189 lbs
KEK
a gorilla is twice that
keep dreaming pussy boy

Actually I probably would kick a gorillas ass. I mean, if I get off a roundhouse & knock him out cold then yeah, but otherwise he's gonna grab my leg & chew me up

If that gorilla was raging you would be dead in less than 30 seconds knife be damned. IDK if you are a navy seal

>I think a really coordinated, extremely in-shape, person who was an expert in at least a few Martial Arts could kill a gorilla with a knife.

Agreed, an extrmeley skilled/talented individual who is in peak physical condition who has many years of fighting experienced and a non-projectile weapon of some sort could win rather consistently.

That isn't what OP said though.

>Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway.

>minimum of training

I mean come the fuck on. OP has no fucking clue how a Gorilla fight would go down he's being a fucking retard and completely underestimating them.

I don't think he understands how much raw strength humans have lost over the course of evolution. We lost our power/burst muscles in favor of endurance muscles for walking long distances. We also distribute more of our total caloric energy towards our brain than any other species we know of, which is also energy directed away from musculature.

>Because a gorilla would be smart enough to know how to counter a knife attack

Would pay to watch this match live/10

>Without a spear

Finally a sensible user.

People seem to forget we had to use weapons that would put us as far away as we could from everything because humans are actually really low on the food chain, even if we're the Apex Alpha Male

6'3 265lbs and I'll kick you in the face manlet

ReadThen ask, am I actually going to win, or am I just the basement dwelling faggot that I always will be?

That's not countering a knife retard.
That's what gorillas do.

They charge forward with their treetrunk arms in front of their body. You can't reach it's neck niggah, if you wanna reach it's neck you gotta backstab it and that's not a fight

You wouldn't get to make an attack. Period. That gorilla decides he's going to have your ass, he's going to take your head off.

...

Then you can dodge once and knife its neck from the side

I think a human can have a chance at dodging a gorilla attack
There's definitely no way of getting away from the gorilla, but I think an expert martial arts athlete can have a chance at dogding

>All it takes is perfect strikes

Let me stop you right there. Any martial artist worth his salt knows that even a technique perfected in training can and most often does get degraded or corrupted in a real life situation.

Now, even if we assume that the person can use perfect timing and technique to stab the gorilla in the neck, you admit that it may take more than one strike. Now, humans are pretty good at pattern recognition, but its not like other animals completely lack that talent. If you try the same technique twice, the gorilla will probably catch on to it and stop it.

But honestly, even talking about execution of techniques in a situation like this is a waste of time. A lot of dagger techniques require grappling another human and all of those techniques go out the window when you're not fighting a gorilla. In the end, the gorilla has longer arms and more weight on you. All it need to do is grab an arm or a leg and commence ripping and tearing. With a knife your working measure is so ridiculously short compared to the gorilla's and a knife is not an effective enough weapon to dissuade the gorilla from grabbing you; it would be like a midget with a swiss army knife fighting Brock Lesner. Now, if you had a machete or a falchion, that would give you more of an edge, but a knife? Nah nigga.

Knife goes in, gorilla doesn't back off, grabs you by that arm and yanks it out of the socket. People routinely survive stab wounds and fight through the pain. A guy was stabbed 687 times in prison and lived. That's roughly 5 minutes 30 seconds of stabbing at 2 stabs per second. Humans aren't the only ones with adrenaline, and a wild animals' adrenal glands are much stronger. I'm confident they would fight through a single stab wound and just have their way with you.

First off, oregano bait. GG. No, with bare hands against a normal gorilla I think you would lose. They have SO MUCH muscle that they cannot swim, those stomachs they have are only so large because they have longer intenstines to process vegetation, they have very very little fat. So your fighting a 600lb muscle monster that will first attempt to attack your genitals and orephesus (eyes, nose ears) because it knows to make you sterile then hit your weak points. The fuck do you think your doing thinking you box a gorilla? These animals are the product of genetic engineering and you think your fucking rules based sparring system competes with death matches? The fuck

How dumb do you have to be to realize genetic differences between species mean a gorilla can be a fat fuck and sit around all day and eat grass or whatever the fuck he eats and still be 500 lbs of muscle due to the way his metabolism and physiological processes work. Humans became the penultimate species because of our ability to make and use TOOLS. You aren't gonna "beat" a gorilla because you work out every week faggot. You're gonna beat it because you have opposable thumbs and a large frontal lobe.

Read above post, gorillas arn't fat.

First off:

Kek

Second:

Kek

Third:

This is cancer.

Everyone here is an out of shape looser who don't realze the potential of the human body

Guess what fags? Humans can physically do more feats of strength than fap eat cheetos and type at a keyboard

Why dont any of you do push ups?

Oh right its beause your belly hits the floor before your arms do

You best bet I'd bet my life savings on this man BRUCE FUCKING LEE to kill a gorila with a knife

>pic related

OP is faggot. OP knows nothing besides roid rage.

nigga the point is gorillas can sit around and do fucking nothing and be fat as fuck and still be 500 lbs of muscle IM NOT WRITING A FUCKING THESIS HERE

>I'd bet my life savings on this man BRUCE FUCKING LEE to kill a gorila with a knife

Then you would be poor in addition to being a fool.

No. Oh God no. A gorilla will, not could, but will literally swing a three foot arm slabbed with fucking 'I live in the jungle fuckface. I don't train. I kill' muscle that may weigh a hundred plus pounds on its own right at your fucking face in an eyeblink. Watch an actual gorilla attack video, not Harambe getting his dick out, but a wild gorilla getting shit done. You may be an alpha keyboard warrior, but that gorilla will end you before you even figure out where you think you're planting that knife. There's a reason you don't shoot a gorilla with anything less than an elephant gun, and that's because if you don't get a kill shot, that gorilla will kill you before you get to wonder what you did wrong.

Penultimate?

What's the species above us then? Aliens?

Some presumptuous faggotry right here.

Kill him with a chancla
Issou

Get a friend to video and become a legend on the /rekt threads until the end of time

You... You don't seem to get it... Stop saying
>An expert martial arts athlete
Martial arts suck at taking out anything else than a human. Did you know that?

Some people got good fights against lions and bulls maybe.

But a gorilla isn't a lion or a bull..
You gotta know that in the animal world, primates are fucking terrifying.

Pretty sure you could beat king kong.

Risitas please help them find the truth in their hearts

La chancla

/b being trolled by FRANCE :

jeuxvideo.com/forums/42-51-49837998-1-0-1-0-je-troll-Sup Forums-b.htm#post_838020174

To be fair, anybody could once he hit the sidewalk.

Goku vs a wild gorilla

Thoughts?

>Goku doesn't go super saiyan

do you mean a gorilla baby? very possible. a full-grown silverback? you are fucking nuts

refer to picture

>guy stabs gorilla in neck
>"heh, I've wo-"
>gorilla still beats him to death and chews his face off before (on the incredibly fucking off chance he got an artery) bleeding to death

Fucking stupid

It's more then an "off chance"

Homie... the gorilla will grab you and eat your face with his giant fucking fangs.

You will throw a punch at him and he will literally bite your hand off.

rips the gorrlla in half

GOku rapes gorilla and forces it to help him catch fish to eat
Then eats the gorilla

kek

There are techniques which can be used against a gorilla

How to throw a punch and how to balance and leverage your body are obvious ones that will obviously help when fighting any creature regardless if its a human or not.

The Gorilla is vaguely humanoid so you could still use some techniques

Good fucking luck getting an armbar or joint lock on one of them.

Kek
>>under-rated

J'y crois pas, JVC.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

I'm sick of THIS SHIT

All your circle jerking fags on fucking /FIT/ coming onto my Sup Forums and talking SHIT

Its so fucking annoying to get called fat NONSTOP JUST BECAUSE I POST ON Sup Forums

I fucking swear you fucking newfag

I bet you are zyzz or that faggot JOHN that posts all the time

back to /fit/ faggot!
Remember folks! /fit/ stands for

>Faggots
>In
>Training

Nom d'une carotte en chocolat, que faîte vous ici les kheys

we don't know. why assume we're #1. also nice dictionary faggot

ISSOU

How is this an argument?

Did you guys forget we're monkeys too?
Except we're the weak monkeys? And Gorillas are kinda uh the Alpha primates?

Heck I'd give money to see OP fight a chimpanzee and get his shit wrecked.
You don't fuck with monkeys.

without laughing he said
dead give away
reminds of this retarded cop i heard in the gym once
trying to tell some dudes he'd fight
mike tyson
they disperesed, shaking their heads
sad

jeuxvideo.com/forums/42-51-49837998-1-0-1-0-je-troll-Sup Forums-b.htm

La FRANCE pose ses couilles dans la place :maitrecourse:

Isn't there a Kung-fu style for fighting gorillas? If not then the Chinese government needs to get its shit together and oppress the Shaolin Temple into developing one pronto, as we're clearly nearing the point where it's going to be needed.

Triggered

They finally had to win at something that didn't involve surrendering first.

Calm down Sup Forumsro, this is just zyzz trolling again.

Is this the new pasta? I can take a gorilla with a knife?
Somebody who knows how the fuck photoshop works make a picture of harambe holding a knife. It'll be fantastic.

>thinks because I know the definition of penultimate I have a dictionary

I bet you are the one saying people have no chance against a gorilla...

I should've known there was a filthy gorila shit poster in our midst

Fuck off bro

Look at picture related here That should end any argument you could have about your body leverage helping anyhow against it

Stop feeding faggots, It's a known troll from a french forum

Sorry russian here what did you win when the two WW was already win and you just came for the profit ?

I bet none of you faggots could even kill a gorilla with a gun.

I would love to see you fight a gorilla, you fucking idiot. I can see it now,
>OP gets in to karate stance
>gorilla charges
>OP tries to dodge and fails
>gets knocked the fuck out
>gorilla starts sucking his cock
>is now a silverbacks bitch forever
Fuck off.

ISSOU

I'm not French. We won Japan by doing some gamma based gentrification.

>jeuxvideo.com/forums/42-51-49837998-1-0-1-0-je-troll-Sup Forums-b.htm

J'trouve ça drôle qu'ils nous trouves cons quand ils sont encore sur le forum de Jeuxvideo.com

Maman passe ramasser vos couches bientôt les garçons?

Why dont you rape a she gorilla? Would be better

...

You faggots invented the white flag. Fucking coward, gtfo.

Le chamquela

Nice post, original and funny

kys

I can fight a polar bear with bare hands.