for those of you who have the same mental problems as me.
how do you cope with all the whispers you hear inside your head?
it gets me really tired trying to always stop them. and i always feel scared of them.
its like somebody dark that i often dont recognize, speaking inside my head
i really dont want to commit suicide, but at the same time i dont feel like this is a nice way to live.
do drugs help? or do they make everything worse?
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there must be some of you who read who have learned to cope with it.
just tell me how you do it please.
i cant stand this feeling of being drained and under immense stress constantly.
il just keep posting these dumb looking pics, they do a good job of describing how it feels like.
works as a placebo for me, keeps them silenced for a while.
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forgot pic
I tend to harm myself and others. Keeps them silent for a while.
there must be someone here with schizophrenia.
i had a normal childhood, never een had the rebellious phase most teenagers get.
i used to be a normal functioning person, until the voices started a fjew years ago.
i had no trouble socializing, lots of friends, happy and always cheerfull.
even a desk job. for a couple of years.
it is a really scarry feeling, knowing that you are slowly losing your mind and touch with reality. and there is nothing you can do about it.
i think i just stopped socializing with people when it got worse, but i dident tell annyone why, so in reality nobody should be able to know i have mental problems.
but the voices keep telling me everybody knows. which makes it harder to go outside.
i have not hurt myself on purpose ever, and i dont think it will help at all, only make everything worse. but they keep trying to make me do it.
i know how it works, its like a dark hole, if you just give in a little, it will keep sucking you inn. so i have to keep ressisting forever or else i lose.
i have been thinking about the future alot, and i think if drugs turn out to help, i will live the rest of my life drugged up for a couple of years, and then end it with helium, that way i will atleast have a couple of good years, and no fear or pain when i die.
which is pretty much as good as anny human can get it.
comfort and no real pain.
If you do drugs they will help for a while then the positive effects will disappear while the negative effects and withrawal stays. This leads to negative thoughts Because you don't know why you are taking the substance but keep taking it anyway not getting any enjoyment out of it
Psychedelics are the best drugs as long as you do them like once or twice
you harm others?
does that mean you succumb to your voices?
>Lots of friends
There's your problem..You not aware of the difference between enemies, friends and acquaintances . I suppose it's the same for the voices in your head...You can't tell which ones want to help and which ones have other motives
i did have friends before the schizophrenia developed.
and i was able to keep jobs and have work friends too.
but yes, the voices are always really good at convincing, i have to put in alot of mental work trying to find out if what they want me to do is harmfull to me or not, but i am afraid for the future, it keeps getting more and more intense.
there will come a point where i wont be able to tell the difference annymore, and harm myself even though i would never do it intentionally.
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Have you had a tumultous life before hand, OP?
Not at all, had a decent life, was actually pretty content.
but i just got dealt shit cards and got this mental disease in adulthood.
and i forgot to mention the funny part, i used to think those with mental health issues were only those who had shitty lives, and who were now depressed and put a label on it.
how wrong i was.
i can feel that my brain is wired wrong now, i can remember how it felt like to be healthy.
OK so I had a pretty similar situation.
Lived a regular life, went to college got a degree in computer science and was working successfully as a programmer.
Then suddenly I started hearing voices. I went completely insane. I lost my job, my car and my apartment within a year or so.
I ended up homeless and wandering the streets shouting at people and cars. Finally after I had been homeless for about a year I was wandering around in winter in the cold in shorts and a tshirt and some cops picked me up and took me to a hospital. I got committed and ended up in the hospital for about a month.
While I was there they put me on medication and after about two weeks my head cleared up completely. All the voices and stuff went away. I became completely sane again.
Now I've got my life back on track and I'm working on getting my own place to live again.
It sounds like what you need is psychiatry and medication. I used to think that psychiatry was a load of bullshit but dude, the meds work. I have been on them for almost a year now and haven't heard any voices or had any hallucinations since.
Start seeing somebody and get on meds, that's my advice.
I will try and see a shrink to get meds, but its just feels so scary, dont know how to explain it. but i will try.
i know it is the logical thing to do, and yet im still here.
but im figuring il end up with meds one way or another, either voluntary or by force at one point.
either way, it will get better in the end.
seroquel/quetiapine.
low dose - I am on 75mg a day.
I always knew the voices were mine, I just had problems working out who was the me that i was talking to, and who was the me that was doing the talking.
The emotional dissonance was teh worst bit. It was like looking at myself being a puppet (but not sure who was pulling the strings) and seeing me do and say stuff that I didn't feel. The puppet loved my girlfriend, and was very upset about her, but i wasn't.
drugs are good. Now I am just me, most ofthe time, and sometimes I get a bit doubled up, but we both agree that neither of us is right, so we can both calm down and not get upset about it...
Intriguing, what hobbies do you have?
idk if im crazy but i have gotten friends with them its sounds weird but they help me trough life they some time hate them but i goten used to it and i like them they changed my life to the better of me
really, get help and get good meds. it can take a while to get the balance right, but meds work for most people. yes, side effects can be fucking awful, but once you get the right cocktail, it is worth it. took me fifteen years to get the right dose of the right mix, but the last five years have been great. Hang in there and get help
you put it into the words i couldent find.
people think it is like split personality were someone takes over your mind, its not like that.
idk i also know that the voices are mine but they still help me cope with things like on test they remind me to read again or some times when im boree i just talk to them in my head and we plan well i plan on the future with the voices
no hobbies now, but i used to do alot of martial arts, and rock climbing before.
now i try to sleep most of my days away, i would say i sleep about 14-16 hours every day.
eat almost no food, and just try to watch stuff on tv that is supposed to make me feel happier or laugh.
i dodge everything that could put negative thoughts into my head, but it does not help alot.
just tell the voices to fuck off
when they start to actually respond after that then you realize how fucked you are then you start trolling because you see it as "a way out or a way to have fun at someone elses expense" when they start trolling back you realize again how fucked you are
tldr get a job or go to a psychiatrist/psychologist wo assigns you to a mental ward
i've been living with a sense of spookines ever since my first relationship, insane paranoia. it kinda escalated lately but thats life
the voices are different based on the society you are in.
in african tribes the voices are always cheerfull and happy.
and those guys with schizophrenia in african tribes often become the respected shamans.
you're being harassed by demons. Take that in whatever way you will.
You can call out to Jesus Christ (loudly) because he can defeat those demons. Also if you have strong faith you'll be able to fight them better. Ultimately find a Catholic priest and do not accept these demons. Many mental illnesses are in fact demons.
do you truly believe i will find help if i go to the church?
the voices mostly got me out of troubble but if some one wants to fight me they help me cope with situations they calm me down so i can think clearly in situations i dont just go fist swinging i look for weak spots and they help me and is it possible that i can like if i cut myself and i say to myself that i need adrenaline or that it needs to stop it stops it helped me a few times
What do the doctors do for you?
Try it. See if it goes away if you pray to Jesus Christ. I believe that there is a metaphysical world of spirits and that demons can plant thoughts into peoples minds. I also believe that many people invite evil spirits and make pacts with them to gain something in this life.
If it's not caused by evil spirits you can still go and take drugs. But I think psychotropic drugs often just mask problems that should be dealt with (but many people can't accept a Christian worldview anymore - we are cucked by our rationality a lot of times which wants in a dictator fashion to view the world with the totality of knowledge and in a sense where we are masters of our destiny).
did anny of you feel like your mind got really tired trying to fight against the voices.
kind of like fatigue of the mind?
Exactly.
I make YouTube videos. It works
You can ask Jesus Christ or God to send angels who will help you fight the evil spirits.
that makes sense kind of, and at the same time, what harm does it do.
as long as i dont turn into those hipociritical christians that spew how everybody else should behave but, dont behave good themselves.
i think faith should be personal, and that you can still believe in science.
i dont believe the earth is 6000 years old, but i may believe there is something greater then us, that we will never figure out, that may or may not be watching over us.
and if im wrong, what does it matter. as long as faith dident make me a worse person.
and idk if they are diffrent they usually just say random shit about the day or if im interested into something i start talking about that topic
but this mistake is written with a pen, and scriblled all over the page.
>i can feel that my brain is wired wrong now, i can remember how it felt like to be healthy.
Have you tried a brain-scan, like X-ray or something?
Not the same, too hard to tell, but I can give some of my story that might help...
I started acting strangely around 20. Always had been a little "touched", but things became really absurd around that time. It wasn't just voices in my head, I was hearing things that were not real, seeing things that were not there, and experiencing sensations that made no sense like traveling multiple time pathways and feeling gravity shift from down to perpendicular to me, etc... It was frightening, and I didn't have insurance so I never went to the doctor.
So I went from straight edge to drinking, and then it became a way to cope. This lead further down the rabbit hole.
8 years later, I was homeless, strung out on drugs and alcohol, huge criminal record, suicidal, ruined every relationship, and just.... gone. In and out of jail and court, same deal for institutions. It wasn't uncommon to be walking along, talking to people that I thought were my dead friends come back to life, only to find out that it was a street sign, window, or stranger. Or have street signs change in front of my eyes. Or get helplessly lost all over the place. Didn't matter if I was on substances or not: I was fucked up.
Just over a year ago, I finally ended up seeing a doctor. Found out I'm schizophrenic. Was given medications. Got into inpatient to make certain I didn't use drugs during that time. About 60 days later, everything changed.
The voices were murmurs, the agitation, irritability, and paranoia had diminished. I no longer hurt myself. I wasn't controlled anymore. I had lucidity. My eyes played fewer tricks on me. Gravity stayed down. I stopped having delusions.
Just over a year later, my life has changed to something I never thought possible. I'm sober for over a year, went from 120 pounds to 165, no longer in late stage alcoholism (was bleeding from esophagus all the time, kidneys and liver fucked)...
Catholicism recognizes the theory of evolution as true. Believing in God is actually an act of courage and effort because it takes serious effort to really live without sin and it takes courage to face your own nature and the nature of others. After you find out about the dynamics of life and the never ending satisfaction derived from the pleasures in this life, Christianity is the only thing that makes sense, but it's a choice fundamentally. Christianity is a path of self sacrifice for God, your afterlife and others, but it's the only logical way to go in this world. If you sin (even if you don't believe) you will dirty your soul and mind (your ability to see the truth will be diminished and therefore your progress in the world will be lessened).
I don't silence mine I like having them there. Hearing them lets me know the government hasn't gotten me yet.
wow, your story gave me hope.
i also need to gain weight back, i have lost about 50 pounds, and weigh exactly 118 lb now, am 175cm. and i think my schizophrenia started about 3-4 years ago.
i will force myself to seek help, even though every fiber in my body tells me not to.
if there is justice in the universe, sinners should be punished.
so manny awfull people in the world, who do whatever vile evil things they want, and never get punished.
>cont...
Have a career, apartment, fiance and son, friends that are meaningful, hobbies, and a few projects that I'm really proud of and enjoy working on.
My brain isn't totally perfect, but it's amazing compared to what it once was. It's livable, manageable, even fun. Like, I'm seriously happy at this point. Dec 4 2015, I botched a suicide. Not sure what I believe in, but I'm glad I didn't die.
There's hope, there really is. Don't expect a panacea, but you can at least hope for things that will make it manageable - it's out there. If a deadbeat like me can make it, a hell of a lot others like me or better than me can too.
As a final note:
>See a psychiatrist and doctor
>Set up therapy
>If self-help groups sound good, do it. I don't, but some people swear by them.
>Look into CBT, DBT, and REBT
>Try a journal. Seriously, the best tool I found through all this
>Express yourself, somehow. Feel listless, then express that. Don't know how? Then try stuff. Draw, write, dance, talk, anything. I find something special in creating.
>Seek spirituality. I'm not talking go to church. Just seek and explore. No end goal. Just wonder a little.
>Start meditating. Plethora of science supports it. Even 5 minutes a day. Youtube has tons. Find the style you like most.
>Eat healthy
>Sleep as healthy as you can
>Exercise
>Entertain yourself, but don't get stuck in leisure.
>Be kind to yourself
Just stuff that helped me. Some days I can only achieve one of these, others all. Wish you the best. Seriously. I had a friend with very similar mental conditions commit suicide this summer. So sorry if this comes off as strong, but it's really meaningful to me.
treat him like you would treat a person; don't deny or block what he's saying, don't accept it outright - just learn to discuss with him. He has the right to speak to you, but you have the right to have your own opinion.
You're suffering mostly because humans have overdeveloped neocortex, and because our hemispheric specialization and emotional localization is so high. Nothing to be afraid of - accept it. If he's saying e.g. "kill yourself", he's probably depressed or angry by the state you're in, and tries to force you to take action and responsibility for yourself.
tl;dr voices vocalize your subconsciousness (DUH)
OP is it too late for me to be here?
>talk to the whispers, ask them what they want
they're just you, a creation of you, etc
>you have to be friends with yourself
thank you so much. means alot, and i really mean it kind stranger.
Future you will thank your past self considerably. It's one of the hardest things to come up against. It's unfair. But recognize that you're strong and competent in being able to actually reach out for help and then seek out a professional. Mental illness is still pretty stigmatized, especially stuff like this, but that has nothing to do with you as person.
Might be a roller coaster of a ride for a while, but eventually things will line up. With a lot of the medications that will be tried, no matter how you feel or how long it has or hasn't been, always get the opinion of your professional first. Some of the side effects are fucking heavy, but they dissipate after 1 - 6 weeks. It's frustrating, there is a lot of guesswork involved with this stuff, but persist. I've seen a lot of people fall off because they are impatient. Just try to remember that even if xxx medication didn't work, well, now you and your doctor knows, and you didn't waste time in comparison to the time that you weren't seeking help.
Happy face etc
I had the same problem, or i have.
There are periods in which those voices tell me to do things. I remember clearly the first time i heard them: i was walking in a park, and a child (around 3yo) was running in front of me. It wanted me to kick that children in his face. I never did.
Just ignore them when they say bad things, they will scream louder and louder, until they will become a hiss in your hears. You can choose between what is wrong and what is right. Do it as you think is right
Bump. Do you have an email?