Feels thread, my mum just told me how she was close to suicide because of me

feels thread, my mum just told me how she was close to suicide because of me...

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What did you do to make her want to do it user.

This, tell us your story OP

>tfw depressed and not feeling like getting anything done
>weary of the world
>constant arbitrary anxieties about future, upcoming tests, failure and disappointing my family's expectations
>disturbing pictures in my mind of my loved ones as I physically hurt or kill them, or finding them dead, couldn't even harm them however even if I wanted to
>never ending stream of thoughts, can never stop thinking, even during sex
>can't just learn, have difficulties understanding things, getting constantly distracted by the things listed here, can't learn for more than 15min straight
>test on Monday, deadline for portfolio Wednesday
>even playing games isn't genuine fun anymore, it just distracts me from this bullshit somewhat
>and some other things that didn't come to mind right now

Who knows this feel? I just want to do good in my studies (CS freshman here). I can't turn it off, I can't get myself to stop these horrible thoughts. I'll get Venlafaxine in the middle of February which's supposed to suppress such thoughts and to boost my motivation to get shit done. I feel tired, weary and lost in an ocean of unnecessary questions... Anyone have advice on how to bear with it?

ok
>be me 14
>at psychiatrist officer (got OCD)
>discuss family issues
>goes surprisingly well
>mother promises to not drink ever
>she does really well resisting the urge to drink, not going out, not going to pubs.

cont?

How about you get off your computer, stop crying about how hard your life is (it isn't), get a job, and move out of your moms house. This should make her less suicidal

>14

lol don't get banned by saying that but yeah, continue.

Go on

Get the fuck out of there OP my friends grandma was dropping warnings like that 3 years ago and one night she set the house on fire and shot him through the lung with a 38.

Do not take this lightly old people don't have shit to do. Get away from her immediately if you value your life.

Get of Sup Forums them dumbass, plus your mom is probably pissed of that you spend all of your time on your computer feeling sorry for yourself and pretending to have a mental illness

Jesus fucking Christ man.

eh might aswell go out with a bang heh

>2 weeks later

>morning's fine usual "hi" "love you"
>just sitting on PC
>hungry as fuck
>go upstairs and find my mother
>Tesco Wine.jpeg
>fml
>she gives me this blank stare, all emotion void
>get pissed off and tell her to please stop
>she just stairs
>go downstairs and just continue
>2 hours later
>still hungry
>i go upstairs again and find my mother half sunken on the sofa
>i just stare at her

cont?

fuck me that seems ruff. I don't think my parents would do that...

sure

Stop asking every post, you massive faggot. We wouldn't have asked if we didn't want to hear it.

If she's dropping warnings that means she's already thought about it.

What else do old people have to do with their lives when they lived a huge part of their life raising their kid and it turned out to be a piece of shit failure?

ksorry never done a green text am noob

>i wake her up and ask her what she's doing
>same blank stare
>seems abit like a fagot thing to do but i had a feeling to just sit and hug her
>i hug my mother
>she begins to well up and so do i
>she talks about how she wants to kill herself and how in 10 minutes she was about to get the pills from the medicine cabinet and take it
>help her to bed and call my dad
>he's an average 1970 Londoner
>gets pissed and calls her a bitch down the phone
>i hang up and he texts me saying "please try and get her to sleep xx"
>spend 2 hours trying to help her get to bed
>succeed
>dad texts me "if you can stay up till 5am, you don't need to go to school aswell"
>its 4:35am and im feeling like shit.

so yea that's pretty much the backstory..

well stay up to 5 dont be a pussy, but i wouldnt worry much about it ive been suicidal for over 4 years now and i haven't hang long from a short rope just yet.

thanks for the advice

I was being sarcastic, i would ask her why she wanted to then maybe ask your dad not to be so much of a piece of shit honestly.

he's attending anger management and he has alot of stress on him. he's not meaning to be a cunt but he's fixing it. i'll ask her tomorrow the isues...

Take care of you mom user. Ask her why she wanted to do it and make her get professional help. Also your dad seems to be a real asshole.

Will do. My dad, he can be a bit of a cunt but he cares. He's always doing overtime so we can have more money and we do have our moments of laughter. I'm just hoping that this might just be a one off. I'm gonna head off to bed. Thanks for the advice.

ITT: lazy faggots feeling sorry for themselves because they don't want to make any effort to accomplish anything in life

u got any stories?

Yes. The only difference is that I don't use them to keep probing myself to see if still hurts. I move on, and I keep moving.

Feeling sorry for yourself constantly will get you nowhere.

Sup Sup Forums longtime lurker here

Any of you aspire to be someone you are not?

I think I want to be the best version of myself.

Instead I just exist in a constant unfulfilling cycle of depression and mediocrity.


Pic related: I wanna be Patty B