Feels thread. Please. Just please

Feels thread. Please. Just please.

I want to say some things, but I'd feel better if my Sup Forumsros did as well.

I have this strong feeling that it's never going to get better. That I'll never forgive myself. It's not a matter of if I'm gonna pull the trigger anymore, it's a matter of when.

Whst happened, user?

Why though?

My imaginary girlfriend left me for my imaginary best friend :'(

Fucked up my grades in high school. Got bad grades my first year in college. Lost all my friends. Unmotivated to even play games. I just want to drop out and go somewhere far away, but student loans are unforgiving, so now I'm stuck in college until I finish my degree. All these problems seem very trivial but it's my life.

broke up with gf of 2 years about an hour ago.

i have severe codependency issues.

:)

I lost my girlfriend months ago all cause of me. I want her back so bad. I miss all the things we used to do. We would just lay in bed and talk to each other and tell each other "I love you". I'm afraid I'll never have her again. It terrifies me. It truly does. The thing is, we still keep in touch, but I know she has other interests now, but holy shit. To talk to the person you still love about their new relationships and etc. It's exhausting and downright depressing. I might just give up. Just give up and never feel this way again. It honestly feels like I should.

Dad died recently, a lot of his side has passed recently.. left with mounds of debt and half a family that hates me (moms side disowned me long ago), gf of 2 years left (understandably, i've been constantly depressed i can't blame her), i rarely make it to school/work every day because absolutely nothing motivates me, slowly lost all my friends, even close ones of years and years have forgotten i exist, i don't even have the interest for socialability anymore, though it's lonely and that in itself hurts. nothing even interests me anymore, used to love my work and school is expensive as shit but it was something i looked forward to. now, im just kinda in a state of nothingness, i exist but i don't do much at all.
been to 7 therapists over the past 2 years, all my problems end up being too much for them and it just waters down to small talk each session. been on just about every medication possible until my liver started having issues. i really don't know what to do.
at 19, im left with debt i can't pay, no friends, no family, no aspirations and i really just don't know what im doing here. always having passive suicidal thoughts but the one thing I've retained through whatever the fuck is existential dread, so that keeps me from doing anything about those thoughts, a good thing i guess.

what do.

Gf got a new bf and killed herself with him. Sucks we were supposed to be an Heros together... She was so cute. Way out of my league for me

...

Pics??

Have feels for more than one girl atm. Girl A and girl B. Met both through threads on Sup Forums. Been talking to them both for roughly the same amount of time, but I have much stronger feelings for B over A. They both have a ton of emotional and mental issues but are genuinely good people and they both have amazing bodies. I'm close to both of them and I plan on meeting them both eventually, but I have this sense of guilt that won't go away because I have feelings for them both. I connect really well emotionally with A because of both of our pasts, and she's hinted we could be something if I visited often enough (same continent, different countries). I'm almost positive I'm in love with B. She makes me beyond happy and we always get along great but she lives across the world and always tells me us being together just wouldn't work out, despite all the flirting, teasing and on rare occasions borderline cybering. B is either in denial about how she feels about me or she's waiting to see what happens when I visit, who knows...

>tl;dr
I have strong feelings for two girls, A and B but also guilt because I car for them both and can't choose. A and I connect better emotionally and she seems willing to be together if I can make it work. I'm in love with B but she's unsure about what we will be in the future despite clear chemistry between the two of us.

What do guys? I'm at an impasse here... ;-;

stay strong
you'll always have us

PRAISE BE TO GLORIOUS SOVIET INNOVATION, COMRADES

>me circa 2014

it gets better. It takes time, years even, but it does. You'll feel like killing yourself, you'll alienate yourself from friends and family, maybe even make some really stupid decisions along the way, but if you tough it out, you'll get better and find love once again. :')

>tfw you can't fully trust anyone
>Tfw when you've been so lonely that you confuse anything for interest or love
>Tfw you get more lonely because can't distinguish reality from fantasy and doesn't want to embarass yourself
>Tfw you embrace nihilism as a way to cope but is too weak to go all the way
>Tfw you start to feel less of a man because you're weird
>Tfw all your achievements come not from talent, but from being a compliant and submissive bitch
>Tfw you acted so much to have social acceptance that you forgot the most important person: yourself
>Tfw you know the ground is shattering under your feet but you can't really do anything, except lie again saying everything will be ok when it won't
>Tfw not even your addictions and passions can numb the pain

Dark times indeed my friends, dark times indeed

nooooo you motherfucker stop doing this to me

I might as well share. Last year I started dating this girl, she was the nicest person I have ever and the only person to say they cared about me and that she loved me. Even my family has never said so convincingly. And even though I don't really get too attached to people, I fell for her. She was the only person I ever wanted to be with.I spent as much time with her as I could, letting my grades drop and other friends grow distant. But before the end of the year she dumped me for no real reason. She wasn't dating anyone else or doing anything particularly important. But it destroyed me. I loved her more than my own family, she was the only reason I wanted to continue living because my job sucks and all my friends left town. So in December I tried to kill myself via freight train but it never came while I laid on the tracks and just a couple weeks ago I was going to hang myself before some cops stopped me. I still want to. I haven't been really happy since before she left. I only feel worse every day. If I can find some rope before I leave for work tomorrow, I will probably hang myself.

You need new addicitons. Opiates will numb the pain 100% of the time my friend. A true and sincere dope habit is the answer to your problems. That or a girl who accepts and loves you for everything you are. I recently gave up one for the other. Great decision. Good luck bro

Thanks for the advice kind user