ITT: Times we acted like The Joker

ITT: Times we acted like The Joker

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vocaroo.com/i/s0SPNLmoQQgV
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>Mom tells me to take out the trash.

>I switch the recycling with the garbage.

>listening to Tokio Hotel on loop
>mom enters my room, asks me to take out the trash
>whisper under my breath "fuck u mom"
>leave the garbage bags outside the garbage bin
that will teach them haha.........

Wait, you did what?

>City picks up the trash.
>You get a bin for garbage and a bin for recycling.
>I switched the contents of the two bins.

Shit. Sorry if I wasn't clear. My hands were literally shaking when I typed that up. First time I ever did something that crazy. Adrenaline was through the roof

you did whaaaaaaaaaaat?

Fuck it's 3am already. Should I go back outside and fix the garbage??

Jesus, what was I thinking. You think I went too far? That's literally fucking with the environment. Literally fucking with mother nature itself.

>wake up in the middle of the night
>realize i'm about to get the poops
>squeeze out the brown mustard in the bed
>pee too because i passed the point of no return long ago
>my mom yells at me in the morning because I'm caked in doodoo and squirts
>I tell her it's all part of the plan

I think I took it too far this time XD

Let your mom deal with it!
HAHAHAHAHA

one time i went to get dubs and check em faggot

YOU MAD MAN

Nice.

>spill soda and popcorn on theater floor
Wagecucks will clean this

we'll break the system, user.

HOOOOOOOOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

>tfw

I love doing this
ABSOLUTE CHAOS

>mom says to go to bed at 10:00PM
>went to bed at 10:03PM

What is this meme called. My fav is the spaghetti one

>freshman year of college
>tell people I can get them alcohol cheap but I double the price of it
>get a hobo who lives next to gas station to buy alcohol so me and him have something going.
>sometimes people didn't have money to pay so they would just give me random shit in their dorm room
>over first semester my room is filled with weird knick knacks and paints plus a keureg coffee machine
> don't know what I do with it so I stuff all this shit down trash shoot.
>gets clogged 3 floors below mine.
>they have to replace entire system of trash shoot because it was so bad

Mfw I got to listen to people for the next 3 months manually take down their trash from a ten story building asking who would do such a thing

...

>mom is driving me home
>see hairy styling shop
>ask her if she's been there
>she says she doesn't like their kind of haircuts
>I reply, you mean ones that aren't trashy?

true story btw

>ordering delivery late night online (with vpn of course)
>see that a pizza place closes at 3am
>send my online order for an xl gluten free pizza with no cheese on one half and coin sausages and other half barbaque sauce and ground peppercinis
>wait for the delivery boy to come
>3:27am this shlub arrives
>when he asks for money, tell him I don't have cash and ask if he can call back the store and pay with my mom's credit card over the phone

checked

>See 8/10 qt on wedding
>Was actually introduced to her a few months ago
>Hi user, i remember you! How are you doing?
>Hey gril, i was not sure if we had previously met, this makeup looks bad on you, easily +5y older
>....
I was really surprised by myself, i did not expect an idiocy of this magnitude

Post more bears.

>buy sam's club membership
>membership expires
>show them my card and still go in sometimes for the food
HAHAHAHAHAHA WHO'S GONNA STOP ME, BATS?

>mom tells me to only take one fudgsicle
>I take two

>those quads

I really hope you die a horrible death for posting that gif. Fuck you asshole.

Sage.

>mom tells me to take out the trash
>take out the garbage instead

>mom tells me to take out the garbage
>take out the rubbish instead

>mom tells me to take out the rubbish
>take out the litter instead

>mom tells me to take out the litter
>take out the junk instead

>going to my grandma's funeral
>whisper to my mom "what if the plane crashes?"
>she says it's not going to crash
>"But isnt that the next step in your master plan? Crashing this plane with no survivors?"
>TSA agents swarm from every direction
>mom is blackbagged and swept away
>Agents come to question me
>assume the CIA powerstance (naturally I am wearing a dark jacket, khaki pants, and a blue shirt, as it is my day to day outfit)
>"I'm CIA. You don't get to bring friends."
>they apologize and disperse
>72 hours later mom is released from custody after intensive interrogation
>she's now on the no fly list

MADMAN 4u
u4 NAMDAM

How can society still function with these madmen out there

nah

i could watch this all day

>mom gives me $5 to go buy some milk
>buy milk and a chocolate bar
>tell her milk was just expensive

dont ask for dubs

get dubs

SOMEONE STOP ME

...

>them quads

>that gif

The time is.right.fucking.now!

vocaroo.com/i/s0SPNLmoQQgV

call me when you get trips

Well there was that one time I crippled batgirl..

I hope you bought 2 gallons with that money or else your milk is way too expensive.

>told to look both ways when crossing the street
>I only look one way

>that's it young man! no handjobs for a week!

Poured my milk before I put cereal in the bowl.

>vocaroo.com/i/s0SPNLmoQQgV

This gives me the chills, absolutely insane.

Drank orange juice after brushing my teeth haha

fuck off

That's something only the joker would say

>school shooting happens in my country
>let my mom know I have no sympathy for the dead
>she calls me a nihilist
>mfw

You get no dubs

because I stole them

>at the local super market
>picked up my red bull 6 pack
>checking out
>cashier says "have a good day!"
>i didn't

>rent a vhs tape of power rangers movie from local shitball mom n pop video store
>watch movie while furiously masturbating with bread pudding
>turn it back in
>wasn't kind, didn't rewind

I still dream about it some nights.
>

Wagecuck at the front desk told me I could use the toilet but only if I promised not to make a mess.

Don't worry wagie, the bowl is still squeeky clean!