Alright I'm gonna throw myself into a pretty cathartic writing just right here.
I've been alone all my life user. All my fucking life. Ever since I was born I spend my time alone, never had the courage of getting into life really. I've had suicide thoughts several time during my teen years and I even tried to do so, even recently, and nobody could take me out of my misery. My ex did, she failed. My mother tried, she failed. I had no friend whatsoever and all my hobbies were addiction (video games, smoking weed, masturbation...) I was shitty.
Then one time I was thinking really hard about me, probably just as you may be doing it on a normal basis, and I realised that if I'm alone, it's only because I want to.
Now I'm not telling you not to do it, but i'm certainly not telling you to do it neither. Dude, we're alive, we're litteraly living matter, science does not explain that shit. Why did matter, at a certain point, took the initiative to organise itself as intricates organisms just to have the possibility of perduring by itself, for itself remains a true fucking mystery.
My point is YOU have to find YOUR answer. And surely life didn't create itself just to give itself the opportunity to kill itself.
It would took ONE decision to actually not kill yourself, and it would just be to not do it. We're not living to kill ourselves man, this is absurd.
Your life, even if people don't care about you, well it's not shit. Nobody's life is shit. But it happens that sometime we think so. It's just hard to know why it wouldn't be. The fact is it is not only if you think it's not. Just try to change your way of thinking, and user, you'll be fine. You'll just be fine.
I don't know you, it's the point of all that anonymous crap. But I swear to god if I could I would love to know you more. And I'm sure I'm not the only one outhere, statistically it's just not possible.
Life's hard, only to give you the possibility to live diffently that you did yesterday.