ITT: we share our experiences with horses

ITT: we share our experiences with horses


>be 12yo me
>I spent a lot of time on grandpa farm
>He have two giant horses
>I liked watching them
>Once saw how huge is male horse penis
>That night I cant stop thinking about it
>Next day I was alone home
>Go the stables
>What should I do?
>There is shovel leaning on the wall
>I got a idea
>I took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can
>A terrifying neigh resonates through stables
>Horse start kicking, his rear hoof flew centimeters from my head
>I jump back and run away
>Realize I was almost killed
>Since then I'm avoiding horses

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>I took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can

i lost it...

>I took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can

Cool story bro

Aww gosh dawnit

thanks for the kek user

That was hilarious OP

>>I took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can
fucking why?

also was hoping you said youd suck it

Thats the joek

>Be me
>living out in the country for two years with my mom and new stepdad
>They order something in from town
>Large flamboyant black man shows up 2 days later
>Horse comes galloping down the field (open range) with the mule that we have
>The mule has no balls but he can still get erect
>The female horse comes close to greet the delivery man
>The mule is still very close behind
>The man pats the horse on its back and rubs its head a bit
>The mule gets jealous of the delivery man and decides to show his dominance by placing his front arm of the horse and leaning his now fully erect penis into the delivery mans face
>The black man exclaims a big "Ohh my goodness!" in a sassy effeminate manner
>He then proceeds to finish the delivery with the huge mule cock dangling a few inches from his face
>Mom asked if that bothered him
>He jokingly tell her "I've seen bigger ma'm"
>Gets in his car and drives away with a shit eating grin on his face

Kek'd

On the horse* right?

Right, my bad

Bump

>Once saw how huge is male horse penis
>I took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can

Best plot twist i've ever read

>l took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can

Holy fuck user, lost

When I was 12 and my
Female cousin was 13, we decided to have sex in the stables.

>Filling my cousins tight, peach fuzz covered pussy
>She's moaning loudly
>Suddenly hear a lot of commotion in the stall next to us
>Fuck it, I don't care, I'm about to cum
>Fill my cousins pussy
>The fucking horse breaks through the wall
>Nope.jpg
>I run out of there as fast as I can, leaving cousin inside with the horse
>I hear a scream and a loud thud
>Cousin got kicked in the face and shattered her jaw and cheek bones
>She got pregnant
>MFW I almost died because I was fucking my cousin

Somebody screencap this shit. Pure gold

Polak confirmed

Kek'd

>I got a idea
>I took shovel and hit horses penis as hard as I can

OH GOD WHY. MY SIDES.

kill yourself my man

In an alternate reality
>OP steps a little too close
>Horse good makes full contact
>in the morning grandpa walls out and finds dead user holding a shovel and a bruise on the horse's cock

shovel
>hit horse penis

the fuck hahahah

This is the Sup Forums i was missing.

>By far the worst thing I've ever done
>Be twelve living with abusive aunt and uncle
>We lived on an old farm, no animals or anything just fields
>My uncle goes to the market and comes back with this filthy ass horse
>pic related
>Aunt loves it for some reason
>horse is muddy, she calls it "dirty" cause she's fucked up like that
>I, being a country fag, liked riding horses and stuff
>they tell me "if we ever catch you riding the horse we will beat the ever living shot out of you"
>they will
>they've done it before
>Few days later, I'm messing around in the fields with some tractor tire I found
>Dirty is near me eating grass and stuff
>Aunt and uncle come out to make sure I'm not riding the horse every few minutes
>whatever
>get bored and climb in the tire
>it started fucking rolling (fields weren't flat)
>can't stop
>aunt and uncle come out to check on me
>they see me rollin'
>they hatin'
>patrolling
>tryna catch me riding dirty

sick pasta

nice copypasta

dude shut the fuck up, I actually had to type it because I only had a screenshot

>be me, at wedding
>my buddy is marrying bridezilla
>we all try to talk him out of it
>no dice. she can suck the chrome off an exhaust pipe, so he's going through with it
>she's a horse nut but sucks at controlling her horse
>wants to ride in on the horse for the wedding
>ugh are you fucking serious
>insists on wanting to do it even though everyone says no, including the wedding venue
>ill pay double
>fine, but venue insists that she brings a horse trainer to handle the horse instead of just her
>Wedding day comes.
>bridezilla rides in
>trainer lady nervously walks with the horse on a bridle while we all stand there in tuxedos and gowns
>band starts playing wedding march
>horse freaks out and rears up
>NEEIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>horse bucks
>kicks trainer in the face
>trainer lady is killed instantly
>brains splatter on wedding party
>not many people dancing at reception
>most of food on buffet goes uneaten

true fucking story yo.

how does it feel when your only contribution was to type something that other guy made years ago?

pics or

>internet
>contributing
>offers nothing

why should I give a fuck about what I contributed to a cancerous thread thats gonna be pruned in about 15 minutes?

rest in peperoni glorious faggot

U a faget bro?

>be 18
>sad beta with no pussy for years
>sister has ponies
>decide to try fucking the most docile mare
>sneak out at night
>start fucking her
>she presses me up to the wall, forcing me into her all the way
>continues
>nut in her
>go inside
>shower
>mfw pony pussy was better than human

What is this pic from? The some Hurricane plagued swamp in the south? Know the story?

kekd

I think the horses should avoid you.
Idgaf about you avoiding horses.

I rode a horse with my aunt once. Pretty wild, bucked because on the back and hit that spot don't do it.

Stayed on tho

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388660/Mississippi-River-flooding-Residents-build-homemade-dams-saves-houses.html

>Be human child
>See horse dick
>Decide it would be a very clever idea to dick-slap a creature 5-6 times your size and weight with a shovel.

U FOOKIN HHHWAT M90?!?!?!

Wait what? Why?

...

I don't get why anyone would risk fucking ponies or horses. If you're that desperate just fuck a hooker. Yes it costs money but it's only a fraction of the possible hospital costs that you'd have to pay for if the mare kicks you.

>"pony pussy was better than human"
can you read

Classico

How do you even fuck a horse without it kicking you

Pics or it didn't happen

I laughed

>how do you have sex without it being rape?
Great question for a cave dweller

hahahahahhahaa