Stupidest shit youve done while horny

Stupidest shit youve done while horny

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Your mom

Put a plastic bag in-between couch cushions got some Vaseline and fucked it. Mom walked into the room and caught me in the act. She still laughs about it to this day, she even told a few of my friends that came over to my house about it.

Fucked a man.

>be me
>havent jerked off in 4 days
>did i mention i was 13
>in bedroom furiously fapping to cousin's panties
>about to seriously blow my fucking dick off but dont want to cum yet
>smell so good
>hear someone come upstairs
>adrenaline kicks in, i start to nut
>fountain of semen spurts out like a fire hose
>scream out loud "OH FUCK MY FUCKING COCK" while dick twitches
>appearently younger brother finds me in my room passed out with me wearing cousins panties like a fucking helmet
>do not regret

...

i once was so horny in school that when in between classes and the halls were packed full of student id grope/fondle some girls asses for like a second. only caught once ;)

My girlfriend's little sister was stayong with us for a week while she was going to a band camp in our city. So I have jailbait staying with me, CONSTANTLY making passes at me, and I didn't fuck her, despite being blue-balled as hell because my girlfriend didn't want to fuck while she was staying with us.

I had prime jailbait hitting on me for a week and I did nothing. Stupidest thing I've ever done while horny.

I would have killed my self.


Just fucked some questionable looking females. I will say in a fit of absolute rage of being horny I attempted (and succeeded) in fucking a female friend of mine in all of her holes.

that is stupid but it is normal so who cares.

twerked for pedos on cam.

No it's not

Masturbated in front of my school, like sitting in the open in the pickup area while waiting for my mom to come get me. Almost everyone left though.

god i put this ball up my ass and couldnt shit it out. it took a while but i did it in the end. told myself never to do anything this stupid again. a few month later i put a stick up my ass. thing is it had a hook at the end. umm it got hooked on my gut, i thought i'm done for, somehow i pulled my gut out of my ass and unhooked it. i never put anything up my ass since then.
sorry if incomprehensible english.

rode a dildo on chaturbate

>Almost everyone left though.

before or after?

what happened when u got caught tho?

>be 13 or of fapping age
>spent the whole day downloading 20 second teasers
>laptop was a cesspool of malware
>horny meter kept rising the whole day
>so horny i wanted to experience being a girl and a boy at the same time
>got into yoga position where I could blow myself
>shoved some toy up my ass
>saw half a porn preview of 10 seconds upside down
>nutted gallons into mouth
>whydididothis.gif

it is here in Serbia

now that is fucked up.

as a kid (13-15) i used to get so horny sometimes.

once i got naked at like 1 in the morning and ran to school and jacked off on the classroom door and ran home. Didn't get caught, the thought of being spotted excited me though.

other time i would try to stuff things in my butt, like the bed post or toothbrush.. Discovered that little spot that instantly makes you cum too..

another time exploring another city with family i took off and inside one of those porn booth places. jacked off inside one of those so hard (back in the day porn was like finding gold). Literally got caught but snuk my way out anyway. some dude almost walked in on me doing it. (didn't have the door locked) coulda been molested. I was scared then but today's me woulda loved it..

Actual rape.

It's a story I've told before, so I'll keep it short.

>be me
>be 22
>working on the student body council with this bitch who just hates my guts
>she's a total control freak but a terrible planner, so I'm constantly cleaning up her messes, and we're always at each other's throats.
>One day we're out for drinks with some mutual friends, sheand I end up staying out later than they did, she gets absolutely hammered
>she decides to go home, we're close enough to the dorms that she wants to walk back, but there's some shady streets between there and the dorms.
>I'm angry and drunk, and I kind of hate her, but I don't want to let the hot drunk rich girl walk home alone and get raped.
>Walk her back tothe dorms.
>On the way she keeps bugging me about something, don't remember what.
>she just keeps pushing, getting really vicious until I boil over.
>quickly look around, see no one, drag her between two buildings, cover her mouth.
>didn't actually intend to rape her, just wanted to yell at her
>it finally occurs to me that what I'm doing is a crime.
>My drunkas fuck brain figures, "as long as we're committing ONE felony..."
>Shove her up against the wall of the alley, spend way longer than should have lovingly hatefucking that gloriously tight pussy.
>After I finish we have a horrifyingly awkward walk back to the dorms.
>She awkwardly says goodbye and goes inside.

Thats a cool story of something that never happened.

That fucking wink
I loved her in that role

which one? cause it all happened.

i used to live in a house almost across the street from my school

what kid didn't try to stuff things in butt.

it's a hard one to believe but the whole experience lasted maybe 10 minutes.

I was a crazy horny kid back then..

When I was like 10 years old, I used to furiosly fuck the big pillows in my house, I actually dont penetrate them or someting, I just rubbed my dick on them until I "came" (because I didnt expulse semen at that age)

I did this for a hole year until my mom almost caught me in the act, when she left, I "lost" my desire to do that ever again.

>But damn, it was good :^)

Never happened. I know because she simply wouldn't let you off the hook for something like that. You'd be getting fucked by big men in prison!

>Put on condom
>Put balls in condom so they're pushed about halfway up my shaft
>Have a hard wank
>Fist mashing my balls
>Have paingasm
>almost pass out releasing my extra sensitive balls from it afterwards

If she never ratted on you, she wanted you more. go rape her again and tell her she's yours, and then you tongue her mouth hole. Just be a tiny bit above her in the food chain.

Not user, but look at thr Fbi's crime statistics for numbers of rapes occuring versus the conviction rate. Plus he didn't say he got off scott free. Maybe he did get in trouble. Either way, it's hardly improbable.

also used to chat to girls alot younger than me (8-10), try to meet up and get laid. Probably was a cop because no one showed up and i was like 13 too so they were probably looking for older gents..

One time eating dinner with my family, I chewed the last bite of bread and didn't swallow it, and I like pretended I did, kept in my mouth secretly and put away my plate and went about my business, then I hopped in the shower and got my dick hard and spit out the overly chewed, salivated bread to see if it was good lube, and it wasnt, I just got disgusted. was 17

>want towalk her home so she doesn't get raped
>you rape her on the walk home

who the fuck runs outside, naked, runs to school while tugging the tube, nuts on a door and bolts.

kekaroons

>When you become what you were trying to prevent

Or she was drunk like user said and she just doesn't remember. Blackouts are a thing. He probably just got lucky.

was this last year? what kinda kids go on chat rooms pre obama?

Used to jerk off in front on neighbors kids whe I was 13-14. They'd come over just to watch.

You either die a hero,...

was back in the 90's

How old were they?

i was a horny kid, i wasn't tugging and running at the same time. i had a hard on the whole time until i blew my load on the door.

Like 5-9. There were a few of them. Obviously I'd never do it now.

...

5th grade. About 6:30AM

My school was on top of a mountain, so it was extremly cold in the morning, and I arrived there really early. By that time i had alredy discovered what masturbation was.

One day, i couldnt stand the cold, so i went to my classrom before classes started, and sta in the corner of the door, since it was closed.

I get really horny for some reason, so i decide to cover myslef with my jacket like a blanket, and start to jerk off. Several peaple actually pass by, without me stoping, or they noticing.

Suddenly, my fucking teacher appears, and tells me to go downstairs. Somehow, managed to put up my pants without her noticing, and go down.

Still dont know how i managed to slip by without getting caught

obviously

During seventh grade finals I whacked my Willie

during obviously you fuck

Did same thing at a sleep over when 19 at a friends house, who has a little sister, slept in my undies and was summer, really hot in the room, i slept on the floor on a sleeping bag.

Got really horny thoughts when I woke up in the morning, I was so hard.

I went to their bathroom and found their laundry bin and some anderwear and bras. Wanted to jerk off in them but the bathroom door didnt close cause of some cable for the washing machine always in the door by default.

Went for a swim later that day with friend and his sister, was ok, pretty nice.

After that, she went to change in bathroom. I found her stil wet swimming panties. I thought it would be risky as fuck as their parents could have opened wide the always-open bathroom door and I wouldnt hear them. I said fuck it and jerked off with my cock in her wet pussy place in her swimming panties, a sensation so sweet.

Really stupid though, could have gotten caught and relationship ruined for life with their parents.

The ugliest girl at my college.
And to clarify how this is an answer to your question: She was even stupider than she was ugly.

where did the fantasy come from? to rush naked spunk attack a door and flee? if thats only some extreme form of getting caught then i call bullshit.

Did it occur to you that they knew what you were doing but pretended they didn't, to spare everyone the embarrassment?

...

Fucked a friend's teen sister when I was 20.

>Was sleeping at her place because I was too drunk to drive
>Get up to go to the bathroom at about 4am.
>Right as I reach the door this kid comes out, and to be honest she might not even have been a teenager yet, probably 11-13 years old.
>she walks past me, i head into the bathroom
>right as I'm unzipping she just opens the door and comes in, quietly closing the door behind her.
>at this point I'm freaking out, my cock is hanging out and a twelve year old just locked herself in a room with me.
>She didn't even fucking talk, just walks up to me and grabs my cock.
>Almost lose my shit, push her away, she looks like she's gonna cry
>Big brother instincts kick in, really want to help her, give her what she wants
>but she wants to touch my cock
>still a bit drunk, now excited, scared, and horny, stuck in a bathroom with a little girl who's about to cry, with her family within earshot.
>half out of desperate self presevation, half out of arousal, I put my cock in front of her face
>I'm getting sucked off by a little girl
>I end up fucking her pussy and ass, both of which where obviously quite used to that kind of treatment, though I didn't make the connection at the time.
>I have a guilty, crying, intense orgasm inside a 12 year old's ass
>she just silently leaves afterward
>A few months later her dad gets arrested, I find out that he'd been fucking her, basically training her to be his sex slave.
>I was dating her older sister by that point, so the kid stayed with us for a couple months until she eventually moved in with her grandparents
>I spend three months quietly sweating whenever this kid is around me, knowing she could ruin my life with a few words.
I don't think she ever told anyone. It's been a few years now.

>be me
>16
>working summer job on construction site
>my sub-contractor boss works night shifts for some reason, hated being on the big sites with everyone else
>we were doing some work on the roof of a large target building in the middle of a big city that night
>I was up on the roof doing some shit while the two people I was working with were on the ground fucking with the lift
>I got really fucking horny
>no security cameras on the roof, obv
>sit at edge of building, waist high ledge at the edge
>kneel in front of it, and start whacking off
>on the middle of a commerical construction site for Target
>at 7pm

was good man

Not possible, there was no one there. The peaple taht passed by were very few, and otherwise i was sitting on te corner of an empty hallway

That does sound horrible.
Since you were drunk and she was sober, I guess she raped you.

i kinda wanted to get caught by a stranger but no one was outside at 1 am lol

i heard of a neighbour girl doing the same one day so i wanted to do the same..

Do you know how many women stay quiet about getting raped? It's a hard thing to tell the cops about if you're the proud type. That said, I don't even think she remembers it. She was absolutely shit-faced drunk at the time.

>she wanted it
I wish.

>rape her again
Not going to do that, but I'm meeting up with some people from college at a little get together, and as far as I know she'll be there. If she's single I'll probably ask her out, or at least throw a pile of money at her and ask her to bend over.

I'm well aware.

That's not how anything works.

I let old guy wich i found on the net fuck my ass

You're not how anything works!

they were both raped by each other.

I used to babysit once and i had these 3 girls 8,9,12

and they love having me around (i was 13 i think)
the youngest loved to just get naked all the time don' know why whatever. The oldest didn't and the middle one liked to bring me to her room and she would strip and try on all her clothes in front of me asking what i like.

one day i tried to get real close to the youngest when she stripped. I would tickle attack her sorta. Tried to pick her up and throw her around the couches. Sometimes i would try to "accidentally" land my face on her pussy. until the older sister caught me..

That.... Actually kind of makes sense. He was coerced, but she was a minor.

Its a beautiful tale of two rapists, one willing to bone a child and one willing to coerce drunkards into sex. Who is the worst one, the audience will ask.

And pretty much everyone will agree that NAMBLA are never the spokes persons for the good guys.

Did they support a candidate in the fall election? That would've been a fun story to break xD

My thought of 8 year olds when i was 13 was "disgusting"

what did she do?

You got raped by 12y old that is an achivement.

I tried to use neosporin as lube. I didn't consider the numbing effect, but I still came somehow. Went to the bathroom after I finished and my dick had swelled up and looked like a water balloon with cellulite.

Don't jerk off with neosporin

it was the kind of parents that's just like.. okay Ashley go masturbate in the other room. She actually masturbated in front of the whole family and guests once (but being 8 i guess you sorta get away with anything).

anyway the oldest sorta knew what was up and once her dad got home she told on me.. But the way it came out of her sounded so made up, or cute or something cause the father literally ignored her.

and seeing as the sister tried but failed to get me into any trouble she too gave up on telling on me.

I got into a committed long-term relationship with my older sister, and drank myself out of a job in a fit of depression after breaking up with her.

what if it numbs the hand only? then you wash it off. Ghost jerking is great, but it never works for me, blood flow too strong.

they were both drunk getting sober by each other. she was shit-face rape.

I might believe you.

Are YOU drunk? because that made zero sense.

I think you'd need something stronger, and definitely don't get it on your dick. I've never been able to perfect the Stranger either.

I tried to summon a succubus and now I can't get rid of her.

It is normal here in Brazil

Let strangers ejaculate in my bp

When I was a tednager my mom used to go out partying and drinking every weekend, and on the not-quite-rare occasion that she'd stumble home and pass out, drunk and high, I'd often use her body as a toy while masturbating. Only fucked her once and got caught doing it. Moved out shortly after and went 5 years without speaking to her.

Raped a girl at a party. Was drunk and high, saw this brazilian type girl with great hips and ass with a tiny waist, just caught her alone at the edge of the floor, pushed her up against a guardrail facing down towards the dance floor. Didn't hardly fight me at all. fucked her, took pictures. Punched out her boyfriend when he caught us, ran out of the party. Good times.

there was one time i was alone with the middle one and when she was changing i took out my cock and she looked at me and giggled for a minute before staring at it. she walked right up to it and kinda had a close look before going about her thing.

wow that sucks

so many 11 year old sluts out there now a days. i wonder when she started?

its the hormones in the milk

found you over here

>Stupidest shit youve done while horny

post and repost pics I shoudn't share

Estrogen to make them more cock hungry.

excellent countries

hey

>its the hormones in the milk
Or MAYBE it was the fact that her dad was raising her up as a fuck toy? But yeah, probably milk.

No its not faggot, go back to Bahia you fucking favela nigger monkey

glad to see you take the red pill. its always the less obvious choice.

I broke up with my (ex) girlfriend, she wouldnt leave me alone i got on top of her and slid it in and held her down as i told her I was gonna make her watch me fuck other girls.

how did that work out?

I've done all kinds of weird, twisted stuff that seems like a great idea until I cum but the one that sticks with me is lubing up the bottom end of a baseball bat and fucking myself in the butt with it

It was like a flared, notched, wooden horsecock and I'm pretty sure it's why my ass bleeds to this day. Felt great until I finished up and had to pull it out.

>mfw

When I was 15 I jerked off on the metro bus on the way home from school. Meant to shoot a huge load onto the seat, but thank fuck that it landed on my backpack and pant leg instead. If I had been retarded enough to leave the cum there, someone would have reported it and they would have had a reason to go through the security tapes.

I also fapped in the parking lot at work one time, but that was in my own car in a far corner so it was a bit less sketch.

Did you even read the greentext?

How old was she?

>tednager

Ted Nager:

linkedin.com/in/ted-nager-32a64a14