What did he mean by "live deliciously"?

What did he mean by "live deliciously"?

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like eating cheese all day n shiieet

I dont understand why the girl became a witch after Satan brutally slaughtered her whole family.
She had no motivation to join him

What else was she gonna do? Go back to Puritansville and tell them her family was ritualistically murdered by a supernatural force and she had nothing to do with it?

sure, why not?

I can't remember. Can some user remind me if black Phillip is with the family when they leave the fort?

Why does this board keep hyping this movie? It wasn't that great.

First ten minutes -
>Spooky child snatching scene, nice atmosphere

Next 50 minutes
>OH MY GOD ISN'T RELIGION CRAZY, CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY PRAY SO MUCH ISN'T THAT WEIRD, DUDE GOD LMAO

>Last 20 minutes/end of the movie
Pretty good job wrapping everything up, nice scene with Satan making an appearance and the mom going crazy

The good start and ending this film has DOES NOT make up for that boring middle part of movie. They kept hammering on the religion thing so much I got a headache (a la Stephen King).

Life of pleasure/hedonism

Did your priest touch your boi pussy?

pretty accurate

can someone tell me what happened to the twins?

>christfag detected

You mean that middle of the movie that is then justified by the ending?

Why do you people get so triggered over this shit? It's like you believe there is some legitimate "war on christianity", or something and every little thing that appears to disparage your faith is some major front in this war.

They'd just call her a witch and kill her. It's die a fake witch or live a real witch. I think she made the more pleasant choice. Also, this sort of explains where the other witches came from, like the one who abducted Samuel. They're all outcasts just doing their best to survive. VVitchfu will probably kill innocents one day...

you sound triggered my friend
the middle of the movie was boring as fuck
>walking in the woods
>praying
>walking in the woods
>etc

How the fuck did you conclude that OP is a "christfag" from that post? He's literally complaining there's too much religion in the movie and that it's boring. You're so twisted with stupid atheist rage that you can't even read properly.

I can only imagine they were churned into delicious baby butter lotion as was the fate of poor samuel.

Can someone post the WEBM of Satan transforming human

I don't think religion had much to do with it outside of the setting. Like yeah there was symbolism with the apple and whatnot, but religion was not the core of the movie. It was the family's own distrust in each other and refusal to cooperate against the real evil force that was opposing them. Divided we fall kind of thing.

Stop.

In the middle part his movie intentionally tried to make religion creepier than the witch who just snatched a child. It's clear to anyone paying attention, THEY SWITCHED ANTAGONISTS TWENTY MINUTES INTO THE FILM.

How is a philosophy or an invisible man in the sky WORSE than a creature of the night who steals children, please justify that.

>In the middle part his movie intentionally tried to make religion creepier than the witch who just snatched a child.

Nah dude this sounds like your personal shit

If ISIS killed your familiy, would you join them?

I think you missed the part where the goat actually speaks, and it is confirmed that Satan, and therefore God exists.

No matter how "creepy" it is made out to be. In the end it is proven to be the correct path. It was a plot device meant to make you think the film had switched antagonists. When in fact, it actually hadn't.

>Nothing super-natural occurred during this movie
now explain the events that unfolded

If ISIS killed my family except my mother who I killed and I was in the middle of the desert alone, miles from civilization who would undoubtedly execute me if I returned after not believing my story, then the leader of ISIS himself was standing behind my bare ass telling me to join, yea boi I'd probably join ISIS for survival's sake.

Yeah? ARe you stupid or something? How do you think they get so many fighters? If a bunch of crazy dudes with guns came to your town and killed everyone you knew and your family and held a gun to your head you'd probably go with them too.

>Caleb shoved an apple down his throat while jerkin' it in the woods
Puritans, man

A spanish conquistador lived in the shed with the goat

well satan showing up should comfirm god actually exists, might as well try to suck up to the big guy

I dont know about you guys, but I would only join them to fuck them over and desert at the first opportunity

Wow cool story Steven Seagal. Real life isn't like your 14 year old fantasy stories you fucking retard

Just generally chillin n shit. Might occasionally grind some kids up into broomstick paste but generally kicking back y'know

He meant butter and pretty dress, you philistines.

What are the odds Satan mounted that fat ass and plowed her virgin puss like the horny goat-demon he is?

I mean they're basically brides of Satan, gotta consummate that shit.

She was a female goat. She wanted to be milked.

It's Black PHILLIP dude, not Black Phillipa.

You so dumb dumb.

Or maybe you are just a pussy?

rt.com/news/314657-woman-kills-isis-commander/

It's Phyllis actually. She just had a little OCD thing where she popped the last letter of her own name.

t. a Buttblasted christfag

pretty substantial
Bet he rubbed one out while guiding her hand on the book. I would.

>yea boi I'd probably join ISIS
Enjoy gitmo, faggot.

christfag here, I thought it handled the religious aspects pretty respectfully. The first scene clearly establishes that this man is SO EXTREME he was literally kicked out of his colony, which is usually a death sentence.

They clearly weren't calling all religious people crazy, or even religion itself. The simply made a movie featuring a guy who took religion a little too far, and even then the theme of the movie wasn't that religion was bad, or that religious people were crazy, as evidenced by the fact that the father is clearly very kind and caring towards his daughter. The wife was a bitch, but she was grieving and that whole thing's probably more attributable to her gender than her faith.

Not asshurt / 10, handled religion very well in my opinion.

for (You)

I typed out a thought-out response to the guy crying about it making fun of christians.

don't you think that's worth a real reply?

You're in the wrong place if that was what you were expecting for your "thought-out" response

Don't you wanna help me improve this board by posting real posts and not just being a cynical sarcastic jerk?

No, that's a stupid idea and you're stupid for thinking it

Christfag here and you're pretty much bang on. Well put.

thanks man, appreciate the positivity

this is the best made horror in years

setting, costume, dialog (although sometimes hard to understand without subtitles) are 10/10

Mold on the corn led to mass hallucination and death.

I didn't because most of what you said I already said in and I didn't want to spam up the board with all the same thing. The (You) was to get more people to read your post and realize our point of view.Yet you didn't read enough of the thread to realize I had already posted your point. Stop pretending Heaven sent you to this thread to act pretentious before even reading the whole thing, faggot.

Where are picks of her fat ass? Come on Sup Forums.

Because is a good way to get burned at the stake for the amusement of the town's folk.

Sorry, I misunderstood your post. I was mostly just shitposting about raising the level of dialogue.

Sup Forums I need to see the fat ass. Dont fail me if you want to live deliciously.

Fucking garbage board. Other thing its good for is sexy women and no one is posting dat ass.

He isn't.

>In the middle part his movie intentionally tried to make religion creepier than the witch
Not really user. It was a pretty accurate portrayal of the beliefs of the Puritans that traveled to the new world. And if you think calvanism is existentially terrifying that's because it is.

Also it isn't whether or not the witches actually exist, because it wasn't an abstract issue for those people living in isolation on the frontier, that was something they worried about daily. You can remove every supernatural element from this movie and it still works because the antagonist isn't the devil, its the lies, hypocrisy, and guilt that destroys the family.

They never apply that logic in any devil movie.

>the father is clearly very kind and caring towards his daughter
i thought the subtext was that he had been molesting her

anyhow great movie.

>i thought the subtext was that he had been molesting her
No user. That's textbook projection.

LEAVE THOMASIN ALONE

tell us about your father user

Don't be a goofus, obviously that user is just saying he would have molested the girl in that situation, that doesn't need to imply he was touched himself.

>that doesn't need to imply he was touched himself.
And how did your father's lack of affection make you feel?

Satan existing only proves that Satan exists

Anyone got the Black Phillip pasta? Had it but lost it...

>Oh, as thou doth persist in doing now?

Please?

Hahaha!

So what is the film going for in the end?

Is Thomasin making a pact with Satan and becoming a witch meant to be a newfound sense of purpose and freedom or is it a tragedy that her family and faith forced her into becoming the villain they thought she was?

what do i have to give the devil so that thomasin will sit on my face?

read the satanic bible, it changed my life

Satan trolled God by murdering a family too pure for the church and turning their virgin daughter into his cum slave for eternity.