How do i kill a person Sup Forums?
Are there legit deepwep hitmans?
Any fairly easy to come by lethal pharmaceutics?
There is a pretty big strength difference between me and the target, so if i were to do it myself, i had to rely on some kinda drugs that were to immobilize him in any way.
Other urls found in this thread:
Install Gentoo.
do you want to avoid jail or dont care?
Sharp rock
>Drug them with a bunch of xanax or something along those lines
>Place bag over head with a tube blowing helium into it steadily
>victim asphyxiates without sensation of choking so if you are gentle in placing the bag over their head, they'll never know what hit them
>Victim will most likely be framed for suicide if you do it right because it will look like the took drugs to relax before they did it to themselves.
Congratulations, you just played yourself.
drug them with chloroform, kill them with morphine and then dump the body in the ocean
>get good at crossbow
>snipe with crossbow
>destroy/burn crossbow
It depends, what is your relationship to the person, would you be able to give them food, drink, have alone time with them?
Only on rare occasions the alone time.
But as i am the cook and son
Well yeah, food and drinks are in.
Wait are you going to kill your dad?
>get good at baseball
>approach from behind, swing at the head
>repeat as necessary
>destroy/burn bat
It's a bit more complicated.
He pretends to be my father and i am not allowed to tell people otherwise.
But he didn't make me or care for me.
Not going to jail would be a big plus since i appreciate my freedom.
But i would go if necessary.
but u just said u were "the son"
so you obvi wanted us to know you are thinking of killing ur dad...
My best guess would be poisoning him. But i don't know where to get effective poisons. I am in Europe.
Shooting him would be a quicker option, much more difficult to get out of freely though. Plus: Getting Weapons in Europe is not as easy as in the USA.
Buy a gun and shoot the fucker in the head you pussy.
user asked of our relationship. So it looked like important info. Plus: A Son can get much closer than a stranger.
I know a girl who got pissed off at her dad and put a whole shit load of crushed up Xanax in his coffee. Didn't kill him but fucked him up real bad
Insert shart object here
Repeat
well now ur sayin "son" again...but b4 u said that he "didnt make you"
so which is it
Kill him so hard that he dies to death.
Its simple
You've already fucked it up.
You don't post about it, you don't google it, you don't talk about it.
If you're going to kill someone you plan it down to the second and you come up with a plan for every possible outcome. Don't use ANYTHING that can be tied to you. Try and do things you normally would not do. Plant "fake" evidence, throw the police off but don't make it obvious. Don't involve even a single other person and most of all, be sure you can handle taking someones life. It's more likely you will give yourself up than get caught.
1. Grow up
2. Move on with life
3. He will invariably die at some point
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN HIS FOOD!
If he dies of poisoning, where are they going to look first... The person who made the food most likely.
Challenge him to a duel of life or death, use a Winchester, give him a Losechester.
Dump body at McDonalds.
If the cops ask questions shoot them and dump their bodies at McDonalds.
repeat step 3 as needed ad infinitum
Yeah, I'd like a big Mac and I've got a couple bodies I'd like to drop off
This. They always find out who poisoned the person.
simple answer is you need to both kill and get away from it, getting a hitman or something of that nature seems unlikely, because of cops and you dont have the know how, you are more likely to get arrested in the process, if murder is suspected, the spouse will be the first suspect and then enemies (I am assuming that you have a strained relationship with him and that other people know that), so you are likely to be suspected if there is any type of poisons or weapons used (and generally speaking forensics can pick up almost anything if they look for it)
So the way I see it you have 2-3 options, based on what the person is like
1) make it look like an accident (car's, pools and fires are the most common ways people die naturally)
2) frame someone who has even more motive than you (if possible make it seem like they get away with it so that the cops think they have the right person, but cant prove it, which generally leads to no one investigating it further, because there are no lawyers digging around and the cops already have their answer)
3) (if they seem the type you could make it seem like a suicide, but that very much depends on whether the person is the type (and do note that 80% of suicides have attempted to commit it at least once in the past, so if they havent made an attempt in the last 5 years, I would recommend against it)
otherwise you could try something along the lines of self defense, is your "father" abusing you physically or something of that nature, but if you go for it, then no drugs other than alcohol
(unrelated, why do you want him dead, in most cases you are probably better off to move out in a few years or if he is abusing you, you can call child protective services )
Kill him with a lawyer:
1) put lawyer in the freezer
2) wait some days
3) beat him to death with frozen lawyer
4) by the time he will be found the lawyer should no longer be frozen
5) signs of a fight; clearly another citizen lost to a wild lawyer attacking
6) should've stayed out of the high grass
Finally something helpful.
I already did move out. And why physical and mental abuse is still present, the main reason is because i want my freedom back.
I tried using the law a few times and he did land in jail, but jail time does never last as long for him as for other people.
I tried to escape as well, took me the past ten years, but i failed, losing my mother in the process.
Due to financial shortages, the police in my country only does half of their work. So i am not that concerned about getting caught. But i don't have a plan how to do it yet.
As i said, there is a great strength difference. So my first try, will be my last try and it has to be successful.
As a businessman, he has many enemies. I won't be the only suspect, maybe not even a suspect at all if i do it right.
So the best i could do were to poison his coffee. It has to he Taste neutral and while he already takes medications, it is not me who brings them to him, it is his wife.
I would be okay with shooting him in the head and going to jail if necessary but i dont have access to firearms.
its easier than you think dude
By the way, thanks to all the fags who actually made me laugh about ridicoulos suggestions. Feels good man
Y'know, I was gonna type out how fucking stupid you're being, but nah, fuck it.
It's much more entertaining when your plan fails to kill him AND you get caught.
Have fun in prison man. If you're serious, your first mistake was posting about it online.
While we're on the subject of murder, does anyone know where I can locally buy human meat in northern california?
Take them to mcdonalds every day. By 45, they'll have a heart attack
I cant breathe
Only in Idaho that I know of, my man
>initially thought this was some teenage eurofag sperge
>reveals he is actually an adult manlet eurofag sperge
WTF happened to you preparing his food? You said you have moved away from him, you beta ass faggot.
>"I was going to point out how stupid you're being but nah"
>Continues to call him stupid
poisons (Im assuming prescription drug overdose) are unreliable (look at the amount of failed suicide attempts made by overdosing).
I could give a few suggestions if I had an idea what his life/schedule was like (I would recommend slightly tampering with his car and waiting for it to take effect (do note that cars only explode when there is a problem with the battery and cutting the brake fluid is unlikely to kill since most people survive collisions)
Everything being said, the only way you can grantee his death would be to force it out of him (weapons), so then you are probably best off to using a powerful sleeping remedy (but the sentence is first degree murder, since it is then undisputably first degree murder) and slicing his throat, but I really thing you would be better off trying to work around it.
Still if he needs to die, maybe turn it into a game (trying to get as close to killing him without being seen to be involved), like crushing glass into his food, messing with the car (and other electrical equipment), an assortment of concoctions you make in previously drinkable bottles (ant poison has been known to be rather scary)
Although I really do implore you try to just get him out of your life instead (get some money together, catch a buss to somewhere 100 km away and start again), going to prison is really a bad idea
:D
>puts something in quotes in a greentext
Fucking genius, there isn't even a way to track that back either.
Clever.
If you do it, post proof one day for us all
>screen cap thread and use as a picture
DIY is the best way to go. But make sure you leave your cell phone at home. Pretty sure they can use your location history to tie you to the crime even if you're careful. Pretty sure that's how they're figuring out murders nowdays.
That's the sure way to get caught. Ballistics fingerprinting will fuck you every time. They can match a bullet to the exact gun that fired it and find out the serial number and who owns it.
you don't think they'd check who bought the helium? Its not cheap.
this. if you need to research criminal stuff online, get a throw away laptop and use the internet in the parking lot at starbucks/mcdonalds/wherever. otherwise they will nail you.
Spike his tea with polonium (only if your name is Putin)
Pro tip police works is nothing like CSI.
Balstics especially so.
We don't have a computer that cam match shit, we have to snail mail shit to a ware house in the ass end of nowhere where they have to go through files by hand. Files with no organization system.
Thank the NRA for that.
I solve problems for a living. Are you trying to become a problem that I shall have to find a solution to?
The police are overworked and under funded almost universally. If no one finds the body no one starts looking for a killer.
It'll be a big thing for a few days but it'll blow over and people will move on.
As long as the body doesn't surface.
Unfriendly solutions is mostly legit. However you can also buy cyanide or polonium(!) on the darknet.
wow thank god there's some wisdom in this thread
What about nuclear weapons of mass destruction for personal use ? Does it come with express delivery option ?
Please, I must know. There's mankind on my lawn.
if you force someone to ingest 100 or 500 (i forget how much) advil they can OD and die.
I am his COOK. I WORK for him.
Problem is, i can't connect to unfriendly solutions somehow, so i supposed they took that down.
Also, i tried to escape from him. Moved a few countries away, but he found me, so that is not an option.
I once heard about some poison which takes about 2 weeks to create or something. Pretty complicated shit but works really well, causing a slow death in up to 4 weeks.
So, i really got a few helpful points today from you anons. Should i ever succeed, i will let you know without fucking up hopefully.
You can buy depleted uranium
> drug him
that is a female approach. Tits or GTFO