Standfag here. Why do you faggots sit down and wipe like a girl? lol

Standfag here. Why do you faggots sit down and wipe like a girl? lol

protip: wipe once sitting then a second time whilst standing. maybe a third but if you need more than that, take a fucking shower

the question is "how do they even manage to fit their hand while sitting?"

probably too lazy to get up...

If I'm at home, I just take a shower, wet my hands and butthole, and just rake my fingers across my butthole until it's squeaky clean.

if you wipe standing up you have to spread one cheek with one hand and wipe with the other.

if you wipe sitting down both ass cheeks are already spread. just roll up on one cheek and wipe, easy.

his question hasn't been answered yet.
Are you sickos putting your hand inside the toilet? Like inches away from your own shit pile?

nigga what

Your shit was inside of your body just seconds ago Also, there is no way you are going touch the water. In other words, are you fucking retarded?

After your shit, why the fuck would you stand? Smash all that shit in your cheeks? Keep your ass over that bowl incase of drippings, lean to one side and wipe.

What is the argument about not wanting to sit? You are already sitting, and while you are sitting you have far more access to wipe properly.

No one aside from a tiny fringe group of retards actually stand up to wipe, this is just an attempt to recreate the flat earth shitstorm.

Lean forward, dumbass.

Personally I prefer pooping while I stand and sit down to wipe.

...

Is it worth it if I wipe my ass in the shower

An other intersting question:

Do you look at the paper to know when to stop wiping, or feel the friction change of the anus?

Im in the latter group, but have several friends who look at the paper

I stand up to wipe my asshole after I shit. I've done that for as long as I can remember.

wipe without looking 1st swipe, look at the last swipe just to make sure.

I look and also give it an occasional sniff.

also when ghost poop happens. are you pissed when you look and it's gone, or are you contently mystified at it's disappearance when you go to flush?

I stand while wiping, cause it gives me better ass cleaning ability. Do a captain Morgan stand on the toilet, hold left cheek, wipe (only need one with this technique) then drop.

I also shit completely naked. Even in public. Its not hard, and it makes it a more comfortable experience

fuck i lol'd so hard at this

>I stand while wiping.
>I also shit completely naked.

Are you me....? Thought I was the only one that did that. Nice to know i'm not alone.

Brother, we know the secrets to life. Shit like cavemen.

i also squat on the toilet seat when i shit

and wipe while standing

Damn right. I completely agree man.

What do you do with your cloths when shiting in public? Just dropping the on them floor? Everything is disgusting in a public toilet.

Ever wonder what those hooks on the backs of doors are for? Hanging up ya clothes

I'd fuck her

>Shitting in public

Jesus christ man just fucking hold it for a few hours until you get home. What, is your ass THAT loose from being buttfucked so often?

If you pick A you are a retard.

Where is the squat option?

A helps to protect against hiding spiders

I'm a fucking ausfag and B has never given me issues with spiders

How fucking long would you have been away from your toilet for a fucking spider to make its home in your TP roll?

just set the roll on the sink is option C for us lazy fucks.

How does that even work?
I mean normally you just pull on the paper between your legs until you stop seeing shit, then just rip it of at that point and dump it in the toilet.
But that thing would just fall of the counter and roll around on the floor.

...

100% correct technique. Sitting first allows you to A. wipe back to front to stop shit from going in the little indentation above your crack, and B. Make sure it doesn't get smooshed between your cheeks when you stand up. Standing after obviously allows for more thorough secondary wipe.

you have two hands right?

>Not being part of lift one cheek of the toilet while wiping masterrace
>ass is still spread
>still room for hands
>can keep the cat on your lap just a little longer

>he doesn't use hair removal cream on his ass, providing an optimal surface for reducing time on wiping

Squat to crap, squat to wipe.
It's not rocket science for crissakes.

you have two right hands left?

Amerifat will never understand

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Because while I am sitting my butt hole is spread thus creating a greater surface area to be cleaned. I have now a more thorough clean than you try hards who claim to be men.

>normally

whatever technique you're describing is far from normal.

You wipers all are disgusting.

Get a fucking Washlet, you barbarians.