Ask a p-psychologist anything

Ask a p-psychologist anything.

I'm here for you, Anonymous~

Are you actually a psychologist or are you a psych major?

Here's a bump for you, Alice!

is ok to fuck my kids if they like it

No.

Hi- I have a friend that likes to pretend they are a psychologist/therapist or something, and is always asking me to tell them my problems so they can psychoanalyze me. If's really annoying. How do I get them to stop?

I'm gay

S-stop being their friend

My co-worker is grumpy cause his dad is gonna die soon. What do?

*patpat* G-good for you, Anonymous

Be comforting and sympathetic in h-his time of need.

Why do blacks commit more crimes?

what if they beg for it any time we're alone together?

T-this is psychology, not sociology.

How do I know if a girl has a rape fetish before approaching her in the car park?

Okay Mr Psychologist why am I so self destructive. I drink too much, swapped weed for booze addiction. I dont open mail and shit. I can never seem to do things on time. I periodically become afraid of the phone. Shits got worse not better as I get older. Literally fed up with life.

Is it safe to get a degree in psychology or has that field been invaded with SJWs that blame everything on white males too?

Children dont really tend to do that

C-check her purse for pepper spray

Whats my problem?

they're 9 and 12, very horny

S-sounds like you have an addiction problem dear; when d-did you start doing drugs? Below the age of 15?

Psychology isn't w-womens studies.

You are p-posting on Sup Forums at 8AM.

Its 2 PM here tho

Why do I never feel truly excited to do things that I know are fun and I find fun but the excitement is never there ahead of time?

It's my birthday today, but I always get a bit down on my birthday and don't feel like celebrating, but feel guilty for not celebrating it cause people (and the "norm") says you should be happy and celebrate it. So what's my problem eh?

How?

Will you suck my cock?

Even w-worse!

Could b-be anhedonia; have y-you talked to anyone?

...y-your problem is two fold:
1. You care about the norm and what other people think
2. You get down on your birthday.

T-tell him you are there for him, dummy!
Be supportive!

Lol

Yes, they are just blaming it on my bipolar type 2, but I don't think that's what this is, though. Very frustrating

I ant to see my gf fuck another man in front of me. whats my problem?

Who did you vote for? Or who would you have voted for?

Why do I wake up about 3-4 times a night for no apparent reason, been to the doctor and had my blood tested, only Vitamin D levels were too low (got supplements)

bipolar c-can be concurrent with anhedonia, but it's q-quite hard to treat in that case...

Sorry Anonymous, I'm so so sorry....

You h-have a fetish and l-like to complain about it.

Are you tired during the day? I used to do that to, turns out I had sleep apnea

So what do I do? I can't feel like this forever, it's so boring and draining

God stutterfag you're the worst and your advice is psych underclassman tier

H-have you gotten a prostate exam? It m-may be BPH. If you are male, of course.

Don't you fucking ignore me

Is there a character that could even possibly EVEN TOUCH Madara Uchiha? Let alone defeat him. And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara. I'm not talking about Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikodou abilities and being capable of both Amateratsu and Tsukuyomi genjutsu), equipped with his Gunbai, a perfect Susano'o, control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu. I’m talking about Kono Yo no Kyūseishu Futarime no Rikudō Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan (which is capable of Enton Amaterasu, Izanagi, Izanami and the Tsyukuyomi Genjutsu), his two original Rinnegan (which grant him Chikushōdō, Shuradō, Tendō, Ningendō, Jigokudō, Gakidō, Gedō, Banshō Ten’in, Chibaku Tensei, Shinra Tensei, Tengai Shinsei and Banbutsu Sōzō) and a third Tomoe Rinnegan on his forehead, capable of using Katon, Fūton, Raiton, Doton, Suiton, Mokuton, Ranton, Inton, Yōton and even Onmyōton Jutsu, equipped with his Gunbai(capable of using Uchihagaeshi) and a Shakujō because he is a master in kenjutsu and taijutsu, a perfect Susano’o (that can use Yasaka no Magatama ), control of both the Juubi and the Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju’s DNA and face implanted on his chest, his four Rinbo Hengoku Clones guarding him and nine Gudōdama floating behind him AFTER he absorbed Senjutsu from the First Hokage, entered Rikudō Senjutsu Mode, cast Mugen Tsukuyomi on everybody and used Shin: Jukai Kōtan so he can use their Chakra while they are under Genjutsu.

Youre an introvert and probably own a cat that harbors a secret loathing towards your general existence despite being its only source of sustainance (sp?)

Why are you waking up? Is it nightmares? Just waking up for no apparent reason? My go to is stress. Is this something new?

I'd ask y-your doctor to consider your current mental state, and if t-they won't, get a second opinion.

Ugh, cat people.

I have a need to set out my goals for life as sort of a timeline for me but I still feel empty and anxious when I acomplish them. Like, I know what I want to do and can do it when I try, but I'm still not happy when I get to them. What's wrong with me?

I'm dealing with anxiety, I overthink my friendships too much in fear of being looked down on or being rejected by someone I love.

Does it get tiring dealing with people who are literally pathetic? Everything makes them depressed, they self sabotage, and enjoy ruining their life.

Maybe you're down on your birthday because you're getting older? Maybe something bad happened on previous bdays

All of you keep in mind that anyone giving confident answers without asking more questions in this thread is full of shit.

it's b-been a while since i've seen your posts OP. i-it s-seems your stutter has gotten worse. what gives?

Okay, what are some of the treatments I could bring up to my doctor?

They dont "enjoy ruining their life, they are stuck in bad habits that sabotage them.

I sleep on my chest and discussed the possibilities with my doctor, came to the conclusion this couldn't be it

Haven't discussed this with my doctor, but I do not wake up to pee or something similar

No nightmares, just me waking up and then trying to go back to bed. Every night

Are you actually typing in stutters you faggot? Youre also a pretty shitty psychologist or youre just bullshitting. Im assuming the latter

Do you really think helping ppl on Sup Forums by analyzing their problems will be accurate and/or helpful?
Or are you just bored?

Has there been some significant change in your life recently? Are you more stressed in general when this started?

That s-sounds like you have an anxiety issue (though probably not as far as an actual compulsion); have you talked to anyone about t-this issue? Do you have an idea why or when it started?

G-good for you, Anonymous

How are you meant to pronounce

>p-psychologist
>C-check

Because the starting letters don't automatically give the right sound surely it should be:


>psy-psychologist
>Ch-check

Do you think most people with Borderline Personality disorder ever get better. Was recently diagnosed and life is below shit tier. I've heard success stories but.. I don't trust the.

Hi Alice, how's your week going? Also reimu has got me onto your twitch. It's quality.

-phi

In some cases it's possible to give advice if the situation is not too complicated. Keep in mind stutterfag is the worst and is giving pretty underclassman advice and assessments. I personally believe I have given people useful advice here before and they were very grateful.

When do you wake up during the night user?

Hm. W-well, what are your current treatments? CBT, anger management, medications?

I d-don't think anything d-dear

PSA -

Most, if not all psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists are inept at helping and quickly resort to prescribing SSRI medication because they treat their patents like assembly line parts. Real help would be approached by NLP or hypnotherapy.

I t-tend to wake up from nightmares or f-from my dog digging into my side.

Are there any medications I can take or do anything to fix this adhedonia I might have concurrently with my bipolar?

Should I consider myself getting checked for autism? I've been looking for a "how to talk to people" guide because I'm a fukken shut in who only communicates with people on a need-to-do basis, yet I still manage to be lonely.

So I found a "survival guide to autism", and it said like a dozen things about life that now in hindsight make sense, but I never thought of them before and been doing the mistakes associated with it.

¿Como?

Or CBT. Hypnotherapy doesn't work on a significant portion of people.

The only Major things that changed is me changing schools and honestly, that's it and I rarely get stressed

I'm 18 years old, but I could bring it up to my doctor

I hope I get to watch you live. It's a comfy and fun time.

-phi

I was on lithium for a while and I am currently not taking anything for it because everything I was taking impacted my life in a negative way

....only one of t-those can actually prescribe anything, b-but good work suggesting a completely disproven technique (NLP) as an alternative!

Might as well throw homeopathy on top of there too for good measure.

When you wake up?

Sorry Alice, was meant for

How do i get a girl to like me?

We somehow had something and now its all fucked and i dont really want to get over her but get together with her and be happy

There are a bunch of tests online that are legit for autism. Try those first, if you are worried, see a doctor.

I'd talk to a doctor man, I would have told you it's changing schools, but you don't seem to think it's a big stressor and this is an anonymous Sup Forums where we simply don't have the info needed to help you.

But also happy birthday. I think you should take a moment, however attenuated, to bring yourself into a mental framework of overriding positivety in this day and embark on a journey in appreciation for your simple existence and another lap around the sun. Realize that to experience life is inherently fleeting and wonderous, that its okay to feel small because we are and by nature should come to understand ourselves as a purposeful iteration of the universe having found a way to observe itself, and if your parents are still alive thank them in your own way. You are loved and have every right to be here; dying suns made it so.

All right i'll bite!

I've got some major deadlines coming up and I seem to try and forget about them by partying daily and doing drugs (especially alcohol).

How do I motivate myself to start doing the work I've got to do for uni ?

Anhedonia r-responds well to SNRI's, l-like welbutrin. You c-could certainly ask y-your doctor about the risks and rewards associated with such treatment.

H-have you considered you might h-have social anxiety, not autism?

CBT is v-very effective.

I w-would highly recommend that dear.

W-whew. Lithium is a hell of a drug. I c-can understand being fearful after that, b-but less...intense classes of m-medications could be useful.

Usually every 2-3 hours

Founded my company and got self-employed.
And I totally have no motivation to do anything.

Ok lost my gf but doesnt matter there are other girls.

Advice u p-p-p-psychologist.

Can I trust in my university's psychologist? I am not even paying her.

Nope, first time I've ever told anyone or really recognized it. It was probably around my senior year of high school when my goals started feeling "meh." Like getting into to my dream college was just not a high for me.

It w-will be at 6PM EST, s-so tune in!

W-why is it all fucked, dear?

What times?

Unfortunately I have class during that time, but I'll tune in as soon as I'm done!

-phi

Anhedonia, almost certainly due to losing your gf unless you're leaving out another event.

Yes. Yes you are paying her, just not directly.

My hands shake now, it's not fair, aha. I will ask my doctor about webutrin, I was also on prozac, abilify, zoloft, and even seroquil trying to treat this shit, I'm running out of options

Alright, l-let's get cracking. First, motivation comes from doing things, it isn't something you do.

So, take your major deadlines, and divide them up into tiny, bitesized pieces. Things you can do in less than 4 hours. Make a big list of all the steps you need to do to complete these goals.

Now, schedule them by order of priority; I like to use Google Calenders to really fill up a day and schedule it all out. Try to put easy items first, things you can do in just an hour or so.

Now, execute on the schedule; the small tasks you complete easily will give you a burst of dopamine, motivating you to do the next items one by one.

If you can't help but party, schedule that too! Party responsibly; make sure you get your work done too. No reason you can't work and play in the same day, just be very careful about it (and don't work while hung over!)

Am I broken or something, Alice? Even if there's clearly a problem in front of me, I just don't react to it. I've been called calm, laid back, etc. because of this. People think I'm just a chill guy but I seriously don't recognize any threat. What's wrong with me, man?

I'm having major hallucinations again but I don't want to tell my parents because I don't want them to worry and be upset. What do I do?

C-clearly it does matter, to you, dear.
Tell me about her.

Y-yes.

You s-should probably talk to someone dear

Literally the first advice you've given in this thread that was good.

Doctor asap.

Do you consider this a problem? That's not necessarily bad.

Okay, I will do right now

Are y-you underage b&?

Sounds like you aren't very responsive to adrenaline, or aren't producing much. That's n-not necessarily a problem; you could m-merely be at the end of the bell curve

I don't want my parents to feel like they've failed...
All they ever wanted of me was to be okay, and I can't even grant them that much.

That's actually great advice.. Didn't expect that on Sup Forums!
Thanks Doc, i'll get working on it right away!

I'm 19, but I live away from them. They would like me to inform them everytime I get this issue.

What kind of program are there that could help me?

It wouldn't be your parents fault or anyone really, that's not really relevant anyway. You need to see a doctor if you're having really bad hallucinations.