I'm bored Sup Forums

i'm bored Sup Forums
tell me something about you

I live in a tree.

I haven't had sex in over two months. I'm married.

Dude....I live in a fucking tree and I still get the pussy often.

in a long distance relationship but want to fuck someone, i.e. girls around me, and don't know what to do.

i like turtles

A story will do?

I'm not able to breath under water.
Also my naked body is not fire resistant.

Fuck some guys. Then if she bitches about it call her a homophobe. The shame of what she is will make her feel terrible.

that's kind of sad, relationship problem i guess?
how long?
of course

I'm about to do something drastic to change my life. I got denied the purchase of a fire arm, because well they couldn't find any information at all about me. For better or worse, I didn't want to risk shootin myself with a .22 rifle. I'm pretty sure I could renew my passport quicker than I could acquire a fire arm.. I realized if I'm really this depressed there's nothing for me to lose, I should do that traveling I wanted to always do. worst case scenario I do right? I got nothin to come back to, but I'm tryna be positive for once.

i have no good luck with anything.

im not into guys like that, though i do find some attractive
like almost a year. but we've known each other for 7 years. well, bfore she left the country 4 years ago. now its just skype.

>be me
>19 yr old, never had girl, started watching anime and met one girl on one of those site.
>Chemistry happens
>Leaves he bf for me. Went pretty well
> A problem, we both live in different countries and being a student I'm broke af.
>She goes to camp, comes back and Skype me to tell. She loves her ex back. Heartbroken, I say do whatever you want. She stays with me.
>My Exams started, don't have time for her. She probs think I'm ignoring her. But I need to study.
>Tells me Sorry. "We should end this here, user. We're too different and even in different countries. I crave your presence here but you can't be here'.
>Tells me she feels for her ex again. And doesn't feel anything for me. Asked for us to be friends, but don't reply to my text or calls. Finally I blocked her to keep myself in control.
>Been 3 months, my heart still weeps every night. I loved her so fucking much.

Rape her retard
Didn't you marry for sex

I married for the tax breaks.

Good for you mate.

>met on anime board
>Different countires
>Never met her


>Loved her so much

Are you 12?

feels user feels
ldr SUCKS.
i dont see the big deal with one night stands and people complain about them.

Miss me with that sissy gay shit fagger

Moron... Never go after tail too hard to reach! It might be fun for the eventual sex vacation, but never try to pursue a relationship.

is she realy too far for one of you to take plane or train at a decent price once in a while?

lmfao thanks I guess.. honestly I'm a little scared about leaving the concrete jungle, I don't got a much money, but I got enough for a few one way airplane tickets... I can't decide where to yet but I'm thinking I'll go be a mudslime in Turkey and putt around the Mediterranean sea for a bit, maybe SE asia, hell maybe I can find a way to combine the two and just wander around... idk man I got only 5 k and nothing left to live here for, I think its time I wander and make my time here worth something.

I have 3 nipples

I absolutely hate anyone who says they are bored.

shes in the UK, im moving to a european country next year, so no, not too far next year. but idk, do i want to always have to travel hundreds of km to fuck, and only do it very un-frequently? like once in a few months?? thats fucking horrible. i have so much sexual frustration already.

get a fuck budy

prove it

>I'm 20
>I really liked this girl
>(and she also liked me)
>me and a friend of mine go to her "gathering" - it's only about five of us
>we all drink to excess
>never drank so much before
>actually can't walk
>girl I like like starts making out with the guy she's seeing(oh yeah she's seeing some guy)
>later in the night she makes out with me
>girl I like says "don't fuck my friend"
>girl's friend is 17
> we all go to sleep
>girl I like goes upstairs with the guy.

>wake up the next day around 12
>everyone decides to sick around and hang out
> in my mind I'm angry at her for the night before!
>finger bang her best friend from childhood in front of her while I stare at her face (dead sober while we're all watching "Romeo and Juliet")
>I start tonguing
>everyone watching
>this happenes for about a minute
>everyone goes home

>go to college next day,work on projects as if nothing happened

That's my story

Sorry it's long, just wanted to tell someone, I feel really bad about it

I was like that with a girl I dated for 5 years.
I become homeless, went through some drug abuse issues and ultimately she dumped me over text.
She said she wanted to remain friends and for a few months was very flirty and dirty with me though it just stopped one day. I assume she met someone else and was just using me to keep busy in the meantime.
I tried to keep talking to her but she never replied.
I blocked her number and deleted everything.
It's hard at the start but I promise it gets easier.

I am a fairly happy and positive dude, but i still get depressed easily.

im just so ridiculously sexually frustrated.
i havent ever had sex. i just want to fuck. can anyone sympathise? i just want to fucking have meaningless sex with random girls every second night. is that possible? no. my location, my current status, my appearance probably, even confidence, fucking kills me. and im not even humble! i somehow want the chicks to be relatively hot. why am i so ignorant and arrogant? i feel like i deserve that, but i don't, definitely not me. why do i feel like i do?

i like cats

sex will come in time... you really may need to change locations... but what I've learned is even the ugliest animal can find someone to love them... and I doubt you're looking for love, all I can say about how you feel though is you gotta ease up.. Maybe not being humble is the issue? I found our egos abandon us when things go bad... being humbles really just a safe bet..... no one deserves anything, try not to hurt anyone or yourself. You'll have a hard time and a short life if you fuck a random girl every second night, but some people want these things you know.. I wish you the best.

I raise goats

sure

>be 10y/o
>hear about 'condoms'
>use pocket money to get one from vending machine ins shopping centre
>shitting brix
>think I'll get into trouble
>few days later summon up courage to open packet
>wtf is this.flac
>assume adults just wear them all the time for reasons
>roll one over my shota cawk and balls
>wear it entire weekend at scout camp
>feel like a fucking boss

I envy you..

Im 24 but i look 18, i got the cute baby face and i have a girlfriend that loves butt sex! You jelly?

young you was dumb mate

fucking jelly asf mane how?

>Sorry it's long, just wanted to tell someone, I feel really bad about it

don't be sorry user, you got to fingerbang a 17y/o. I haven't done that since I was 25 ;_;

gee thanks user. actually maybe giving me some insight i needed.

Yup. I know know that it doesn't need to go over my balls

I am currently fucking up a bitches friendship with my boyfriend as she is a lying cunt :) and she'll only realise it once the plan is compete
Then I'm hoping she breaks down and becomes suicidal like she deserves ^^

hely shekel... calm down there woman. maybe you got off your pills?>?

I wish I had something better to tell you... I used to feel similar to you, I wasn't ugly but I certainly was funny looking.. my attitude wasn't real good, but eventually I learned I wasn't talking to people correctly. Some people WANT to be treated like shit, and others... you should just do it any ways. But when I ran around trying to fuck bitches I realized real quick I hurt someone who didn't deserve it, and I realized even quicker I gotten the herpes... I'm sure you could have better luck than I did... but sex is really over rated user.. it is kind of needed in this life, and is certainly a part of it.. but its alot like doing crack, you feel good for a few minutes, maybe an hour if you want to really take someones time up or leave them limp.. but it always fades.. masturbation isn't a fair thing to compare sex to, masturbating feels great, and sex definitely does too, but if you had someone mutilate your cock like mine at birth.. You may not be missing out on that much... I have sex on a normal basis, my partners get a lot more out of it than I.. so maybe I'm the wrong person to take advice from.. but I wanted to tell you what I could.

thanks user. one day i'll do it, somehow.

no joke, one day its bound to come.. as long as you don't act like Elliot rodger, I'm sure you'll have success one day. grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.. ya know? When you're jackin off you wish you were fuckin, and when you're fuckin you wish you were jackin off. Idk man. if sex is your biggest issue you'll be just fine eventually..

Im currently chatting up my long time friends ex who he still loves. Im doing it because shes into it and im lonely af.

Picsss

I'm actually black and Mexican.

Im planning a psychotic killing spree soon

>planning psychosis
expand

My wife died in a car accident 7yrs ago, haven't been with anyone else since then, don't care for anyone else besides her. I need to move on

what kind of car was it

my GF died in a train explosion

what kind of train was it

My GF died in a UFO explosion

what kind of UFO was it

Hyundai Elantra

Is anyone can identify this raptor

If I knew that it would be an IFO, now wouldn't it?

interesting

Red-tailed sumbitch.

I think its safe to conclude its an UFO that searches for faggots

An? Do you actually pronounce it oo-foh? It would be a U-F-O.

Are you saying my GF was a faggot? What exactly is a female faggot? Are you suggesting she liked cock, because I already knew that.

Sick burn, though.

I'm 25+ NEET
My parents pay my rent and send me money sometimes.
They think I'm still attending school when in reality I just play games and rot in a 3x4 room living in poverty,

Lmao

This is like a secrets thread, but way more pathetic and boring.

At least something good came from this thread

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I eat ass and I feel no shame.

Everyone who knows how to fuck eats ass.

I'm actually a ghost of a shitposter who died from a heartattack due to obesity.
I haunt b, pol, r9k, a, jp, and v and i do nothing but feed off of negative energy to substantiate my afterlife

lol