ITT: Irrefutable proof of Christgau's retardation

Hard mode: No Nicki Minaj/Soulja Boy

Done With Mirrors [Geffen, 1985]

Their knack for the small song, as well as small use for guitar hero/costume drama has always made them a hard rock act worthy of the name, aside from being American. Still, with a decade of bad albums and substance abuse behind them, they had a long road back. And against all odds, the old farts light one up. If you can stand the crunch, side one has more get-up and go than any one of a dozen random neogarage EPs. B+

This is the same guy who's always whining about mmuh misogyny in rock and ssstop objectifying women, you CIS male meanies. Did he even read the lyrics to those songs? Even the Rolling Stone Magazine review from 1985 called out Aerosmith for their, ahem, views on women.

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robertchristgau.com/xg/music/stones-86.php
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Rick Astley - Whenever You Need Somebody

Launching his career with seed money from Thatcher's Enterprise Allowance Scheme, Astley graduated from singer-bandleader to tape op and tea boy at Stock Aitken Waterman, where he ripened for a year before donning a full set of SAW hooks and emerging as beefcake juicier than Adam Faith, Marty Wilde, or Johnny Wadd ever dreamed. And that's according to the notes--it's the image he wants to project. Musically he's a a throwback to such long-forgotten big-band singers manqué as Don Rondo, with more muscle and less sweetness or swing. Blame him on Northern Soul, its attraction to Afro-America finally revealed as I-am-somebody for nobodies with a master plan. D PLUS MUST TO AVOID

He once said dubstep was just trip-hop with a different name

What he had to say on Surfs Up

>but the legendary title opus is an utter failure even on its own woozy terms and there are several disasters from the guest lyricists--Van Dyke Parks's wacked-out meandering is no better than Jack Rieley's. I'll trade you my copy for Surfin' Safari even up, and you'll be sorry. B-

He also gave As and Bs to a bunch of absolutely terrible mid-80s Dylan and Neil Young albums.

Also he gave All Things Must Pass a C rating

he rates albums on a letter grade scale

like honestly that all you need in terms of proof rating music in any non numerical form is complete retardation

And Dirty Work, an album even diehard Rolling Stones fans had a hard time defending.

robertchristgau.com/xg/music/stones-86.php

>writing an entire graduate thesis on this hunk of shit

It gets even better.

robertchristgau.com/xg/music/phair-03.php

>this pile of crap only shit out to make money
>by a late 30s single mom who suddenly wanted to be 17 again

There's really no difference between numerical and letter ratings. They're all arbitrary and for retards anyway.