Things you thought as a kid that you didn't figure out until much later in life.
It took me over a decade from the first time I saw Peanuts cartoons, both animated and in newspapers, to realize that "Chuck" is a nickname for Charles/Charlie. I always thought as a kid that Peppermint Patty calling him Chuck was some sort of running inside joke that I'd missed, like she learned his name wrong and he just never bothered to correct her.
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C'mon user, you must have something like this to share.
RIP thread.
Bump. Can relate just too stoned and tired to remember specific instance
Some men are more equal than others. That took me 17 years, and several missteps to learn.
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Don't let me down stoner-bro
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How to brush my teeth, took med god dam 22 years
gross bro
is this also an "embarrassing shit you believed as a kid" thread? I can deliver on that:
>be me
>be 5
>genuinely believe milk is actually cow piss
>throw a fit every time I'm told to drink it and bawl like a bitch when I have to choke it down
>learn what milk in general is about 13
>feel like the dumbest shit in the room, swear never to tell another soul
>tell everyone on Sup Forums
too many to name
You know that measure thingy they have at the side of the doors for the security cameras? 160cmFather told me he couldn't go in to the toy store bc he was too tall, some shit about the shelves
>Made sense bc dad never bought me toys and it would always be mom who followed me to the toy store
>ff be me 17yo
>live in small town, not many stores with security
>walk around town with some girls and a friend
>Girl's go in to the store
>I stop outside
"Come user why did u stop?"
-Ey dude we can't go in here, let the girls shop and we can just wait outside.
>everyoneconfused.jpg
-Dude come out, we ain't allowed in there
>Everyone looking at me as I'm dumb as fuck
>I drag him out of the door, point at the measure thingy
-Look we are too tall
>wtf.rar
>Start arguing
>I start to think about it and it wasn't as logical at all as it was when I was a kid
>Realised I've been a dumb fuck all my life
Fml
-Look we are too tall, pont at the red marking* I meant
>tfw it comes out in front of peers instead of realizing inside your head
feels bad man
I bet the "must be this tall to ride" at the carnival signs threw you for a loop, huh?
Nha, they had a laugh about it, I was ashamed right then but later when they laugh about it I would laugh with them.
I just dont know why I didn't realize it before. Like I've seen tall dudes go grocery shopping and I wouldn't lend it a thought but then when I become taller suddenly I remembered and didn't go in to store's just because that was a rule my father taught me as a kid.
Pretty smart for my dad though, I 've never asked him to go to the toy store with me, nevee ever
I kinda thought it was the same thing, I just accepted the rule and didn't questioned
bampu
I used to believe that i should believe in "higher powers" (like gods and stuff) until I was 22-23
that's a really charming story
I've never seen one of those. What is the real propose of it?
Help identify the height of a robber as he flees out the door.
You've never seen one of these? Even gas stations have them, I figured everyone's seen them at some point.
They look sort of kike this
>be me 0-35 years old
>think star on top of Christmas tree is called the poinsetta
>called it that for years
>wife corrected me
>how could this be
When I was very young (10 or so) I thought that if you wagged a dog's tail, you make it happy.
Nice fucking auto correct, you goddamn anti semite.
Dude, I under-fucking-stand!
I went to the dentist every 6 months and still needed work doing. One time my dentist asked me how did i brush my teeth and I was missing parts of my mouth.
Learned how to do it properly when I was about 19.
that's because men and pigs are closely related...
Nope. Not really. I guess it isn't a thing over here. Most people are short in the region where a live so the weight of the doors are enough to stop a criminal. Because when you're +1.92 tall and every door os like 1.65 you can't do much. And the doors size kinda follows a pattern so taking measurements must be easy. I dont really know
Do you live in the shire?
Foreskin is troublesome. Luckily I was later circumcised.
>Be me, about 7 or so
>Had looked in my mom's purse earlier in the day
>Had a $100 in there
>We're out shopping
>In Target, wanting Legos and Ninja Turtles and shit.
>Mom: We can't afford those.
>Me: But you've got a hundred dollars!
>Mom: Stores don't take $100 bills. They are only for the bank and paying bills.
>Me: Oh, okay
>LITERALLY IN MY FUCKING 20'S BEFORE SOMEONE TELLS ME THIS IS BULLSHIT
>Re-enforced by those signs some stores that say: "We don't accept bills larger than $20's"
>Out with some friends for dinner.
>End of the night, guy pulls out a $100.
>"I got this!" he says
>I laugh at him. "Yeah, very funny. This place isn't a bank, you know."
>Everyone looks at me and tells me to explain myself.
>So I do, in that tone of: Oh my God, you are all fucking retarded!"
>They ask me if I'm high.
>Then explain to me that $100 can be used anywhere.
>Worldview is falling apart.
>"But... But those signs! About not accepting large bills!"
>"They don't want large bills because they don't want to get robbed."
>Everything they say is making perfect sense.
>Everything I know just seems so fucking stupid by comparison.
>Call up Mom, right there.
>It's 3am and we're at an all-night diner.
>YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!
>>Then* explain to me that $100 can be used anywhere.
They*
Goddamnit.
So, when you bought groceries, did you bring a bunch of 20's?
Shush, brother. I'm having your oats.
Yeah, basically. Or wrote a check. And then started using a debit card. I'm in my 30's. So I when I graduated high school and went out on my own, people were still writing checks at the grocery store and gas station and stuff.
Growing up, watching my parents, if it was a major purchase, they would either write a check or use a credit card.
Also, most ATM's only give out 20's.
I love stories like these, makes me feel less cringey about my own childhood quirks.
keep em coming
i didn't get that pharaoh beart thing. i thought it was some sort of lip plug... i used to watch a lot of documentaries
>pharaoh beart
What?
it gets a routine so early
ouch
he meant "beard"
I used to think poops were human eggs.
Tell me you didn't eat them.
wait, what word did it correct?
like became kike
So am I really the only one who thought this? Feelsbadman
Of course not. It's actually kind of fucked up. I knew that babies didn't comes from there, but I thought the poop-eggs would hatch into some sort of weird, deformed monsters, and that's why you always had to make sure you flushed.
I was not a smart child.
I was trying to figure out why Marcie called Peppermint Patti "Sir."
I thought men fucked women in the rare and babies were born from the rare you. Didn't know women had vagina till I went to a co-ed.
I guess you at least always flushed after yourself, though.
oh, yea. i meant these let's say blue ceremonial beard things
>joke
yet
you typed "rare" twice, but I think you might have meant to type word?
Lezzer
>to type word
to type another word*
Meant rear. Damn you autocorrect in my head.
llived near a afb runway,
was about 12 when I figured out planes landing gears go up during flight.
word
that's what I thought, but "the rare you" still doesn't make sense to me...
Always. Also though chicks passed blue and couldn't hold it very well, thanks to all those tampon and maxipad commercials.
Thought my dad was a Mexican until I was 11.
My parents were talking about my aunt marrying a Mexican guy she had been dating, and I'm like, "Dad's Mexican though, right? "
He worked outside doing construction, so he was super tan all the time and had dark hair.
Everyone thought it was hilarious.
Was quite sure until I was in highschool that humans had muscle and bones and skin and animals had muscles and bones and skin and this extra thing called "meat", which was what we ate.
>When I was about 5 my brother told me that the >neighbors kids were platonic twins.
>50 years later I find out he BS'ed me,
>they were born years apart.
>be six year old me
>watch Highway to Heaven on tv
>there was an episode involving a snake that had come up through someone's toilet
>scared the hell out of me
>i thought that was a real possibility
>for years
>had anxiety about using toilets
>eventually realized how absurd my fear was
>not only is it extremely unlikely for a snake to swim up a sewer pipe in snake country, it is even more proposterous that such a thing could happen where I lived in Canada where there are very very few native snake species at all
>platonic twins
is that even a thing?
cnn.com
Glad I could help you revive your fears.
I also thought the majority of snake species were venomous. Didn't learn how wrong that idea was until after I started keeping reptiles as pets and did research on them.
I think he means fraternal twins.
>platonic twins
So they don't fuck? Boring.
Ha! Yeah I am no longer afraid of snakes. Even venomous ones. That stopped once I did a bunch of research on them in my 20's as part of my reptile keeping hobby. It was mostly a fear of something I didn't understand.
fraternal
I was 5, sheesh
One night, when I was around five, my dad said "good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite" when putting me to bed. I assumed that bedbugs were just some silly made up thing like monsters under the bed, but one day I learned that they were an actual thing. So I went back to my dad, the infinite source of all knowledge in the universe, and asked him if there was such a thing as a bedbug proof matress.
He said "I think so, actually I think your matress is", to which I replied "oh neat, what makes it bedbug proof?" He answered "I think it's the stripes, that way they get confused". Referring of course to my striped sheets. Which wasn't even a good answer, since I'd asked about matresses, not sheets.
But being a little kid I didn't really think about it, and for five years I imagined the bedbugs in my bed getting confused by my stripey sheets, wandering around in little circles for a while getting tired and dizzy and eventually fucking off from confusion.
>platonic twins
My new fetish
I didn't realize that r34.paheal was an allusion to Raphael until a month ago. I'm 28.
Are you Calvin?
>one day I learned that they were an actual thing
Oh, dear lord, I feel that. I learned they were an actual thing, and then I learned to exterminate them relentlessly.
Fuck bedbugs.
My parents did read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes. They jokingly referred to me as "your son" when taking about to me to one another, and if my dad didn't know an answer to a question he'd make something up or say "to make annoying little kids ask questions".
I was never really scared of em, just curious about what they were. We lived in Arizona so I was used to weird dangerous bugs. Plus I had a bedbug proof matress.