Sup Forums I'm feeling strange

Sup Forums I'm feeling strange.
> be pedo
> into rape
> suicidal
> failing school
> faps to loli everyday
> deplorable to the core
> but on the outside I live a pretty normal life
> ie job, family, friends, nothing out of the ordinary to other people
> cleaning garage one day and find old RC boat
> sees a mom and her son pass by
> offer to give boat to them for free
> honestly thought it would be nice for the boy to go out on the lake and take it out for a ride
> mom accepts
> 3 weeks pass by and my dad hands me a letter
> inside is a picture of the boy and his dad sailing the boat
> makes me wonder, what kind of fucking human am I?

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This user need help. Bump

This user definitely needs help. I'm not able to give advice, but I support you user.
:)

Pedos deserve to be gassed

I honestly don't understand. Your dad took the picture of some other kid and his dad? Is your dad a stalker?

So I'm guessing I am a bad person but there is a chance for redemption?

No I'm sorry let me clarify. The letter was apparently delivered in my absence. I was at work.

That's your problem user, you see yourself as a bad person.

You have bad traits that aren't normal, but if you believe that you can fix those negative traits to positive ones, then you do have a chance at redemption.

I see myself as a failure that won't get a decent girl except crazy bitchy ones that aren't worth the time or money. What I'm doing currently is signing up for the military to change something. Insanity is the effort of trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Giving that RC boat was that chain break. Keep doing good, user. One day you'll be okie dokie. :)

There is no such thing as a "good person" or a "bad person"
We are all just people that want to get what makes us happy.
Many people probs have darker secrets than what you have so don't be too ashamed by them.

I see where you're coming from and it makes sense, but do you think maybe I'm just finding satisfaction that someone said thank you? I mean she didn't say it but this picture is a form of a thank you. In other words I am finding justification to say that this was "a good deed".

You did something nice.
It feels good. Do something else nice for someone. You may find you like it. If that's all you can do, shit that aint too bad. The pedo stuff as long as you don't act on it it's not something to worry about too much

Your impact is more important than intention.

You could have the most fuck up thoughts as long is it doesn't manifest in behavioural changes.

You aren't a pedo or a rapist until you commit a crime.

You are ill. Get help.

Don't tell me about the rape or pedo because then you'll be reported as a threat.

But discuss with therapist and support group about positive psychology and mindfulness.

Consciously retrain your thought patterns (virtually impossible) but you know what is good. Just keep doing that.

Me=them*

It could be justification; however, I feel like there's a significant part of life that's missing from the bigger picture. I'm no therapist, but I feel like I can relate to a small degree.

How frequently have you done good deeds that have gone unnoticed or received underwhelming appreciation?

Or another approach could be split personalities, not in a crazy sense, but more of an inner and outer. Your outer being the normal life you lead and the inner being what could seem to be the estranged life. This thanks could be "touching" that inner personality, like the light reaching the darkness.

If you believe that it's the right thing, keep doing what you're doing. Support charities, do community service, help your neighbors move in. If not, that's okie dokie too.

But whatever it is, it made you feel happy, and that's a good thing, user.

Hey user.

I am into loli and enjoy a good rape fantasy. Also bisexual and into furry porn, which you didn't mention, so I'm more "degenerate" or whatever, I guess.

But I don't think I'm a bad person. Or a good person, really. Just me.

It sounds lame, but accept yourself. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to improve yourself, but it means you accept the reality of who you are right now. Some things you can't change, and fighting or repressing that won't do you any good.

Of course it's hard to accept things like being a pedophile. I'm not one (not exclusively attracted to little girls) but I say if you know you would never hurt someone, then that's fine. Doesn't mean you can't be a good person.

Well I'm not trying to brag but I do my best to help people outside when I'm out. but I never talk about it. Like I helped an old man carry all his groceries to his car because he seemed weak. Never told anyone that.

This user gets it

And that's a good thing! Do you get recognized for your good deeds by the people you do them for? Maybe what happened as of late could be the recognition that you needed to show how much of an impact on other people's lives you really do have.

That kid can play with his dad and spend quality time together. It's because of you.

I would definitely suggest finding a therapist if you can, as these issues sound a lot deeper than what's on the surface. I personally had seen a therapist about my childhood problems and I've felt a lot better since then. Not suicidal anymore, that's for sure, but don't tell the military about that... time frame. Hah.

>Therapist
The rapist
(Fokin hell I'm not even funny)

Thanks anons this has been some good self research and insight into myself. I'll consider your words wisely.

Don't let people fucking thought police you. It's your actions that define who you are, not your thoughts.

I've only got sympathy for pedos but only if they're under 18, it's weird.

That's interesting so like, it's weird for a 14 yo to like a 13yo? isn't that just a crush and normal? Wouldn't call them a pedophile right?

holly hell mate, I didn't think that through

Thanks user. That means a lot to me. Keep at keeping you and the first step is acknowledging that there is a problem that can be fixed, so there's hope for you.

apa org/helpcenter/confidentiality.aspx
Definitely check this before you actually get a therapist. When you do go in, definitely choose the right words to describe your problem. You don't want to open up trusting someone to portray the wrong idea.

I'm thinking of a 17 year old staring at a loli with a hard on or something.

No problem user. Best of luck with school.

This user right here

tits and amazing advice

Couldn't get any better than that tbh