ITT OP is House and rest of anons are my team

ITT OP is House and rest of anons are my team.

Patient admitted with shortness of breath, Fatigue, Joint pain, and Low red blood cell count.

Tox-screen is clean. Get in here idiots. I need my team.
>pops 3 vicodan

House, this guy is 300 pounds. Could it just be that he's an out-of-shape fatass?

Where did those idiots go?

It's Lupus.

I didn't know he was a fatty. You know I don't look at patients and you have the chart, moron.

Get me a liver biopsy stat.

*kills self*

NO its NOT lupus, moron!

Looks like we have a new symptom, folks.

Fattys tongue is starting to swell.

Come on! I need answers, team!

Biopsy came back clean, but he flat-lined on the table. Got his heart started but now he's experiencing delusions. Thinks he's the founder of some website called Four-chan?

Cutner, you curry eating waste of space, kill yourself on your own time. We have work to do.

I need ideas!!

He's got a a bad case of Small Cox!

Have you checked for any Doritos stuck in his lungs?

Hmm hallucinations and tongue swelling now. Think think, think.

Four Chan? What the hell is four Chan?

We he jaundiced?

*quietly decomposes*

That's a new one. I guess you could say he had a case of the munchies.
>pops 2 vicodan

We have all these symptoms on the board, team. I NEED more iDEAS

>pops 3 vicidan
>house stares at the wall talking to himself for a minute
Ideas, team! We have a dorito in the lung, swelling tongue, undersized penis, and delisuions.

What is it?

House, we sent an investigation team to his house. The Four-chan site was on his computer but it's just weird porn. However, there were hundreds... and I mean HUNDREDS of bottles of urine. We're thinking ammonia fume buildup?

Can someone check him for rashes.
Also why the fuck cant it just be anemia from a poor diet.
Check his fridge

Did you get authorization for that
Clean up this mess of an operation house.

Anemia

No cane, not aggressive towards humans that want to get closer to you,
not being paid to make this thread!!
OP's not house, he is just someone that was watching some seasons and he likes to have a bit of fun.
He is not even capable of understanding that fun it's not something that important.
OP has lupus.

(stares longingly at Cameron, 13, and/or Adams)

House you cant go assuming because the guy's a little overweight that automatically food debris in the lungs and an underveloped... you know what im trying to say, are automatically symptoms! Have you any decency?!

Start blood transfusion
Recheck lab values post transfusion.

Give oxygen 3lpm NC

Start I.v. saline

Monitor vitals

Consider monitoring ABGs

Shut up you philandering Jew. Amber was ugly as fuck by the way.

Shes dead sir. Can i fuck her body now?

Crikey!

100% it's Lupus.

House I checked the patient home wich is illegal and found out that he likes to travel to 3rd world shitholes. I think this could be Dengue or chikunguya fever.

Patient is a lazy, fat fuck.
>/episode

Hes a filty faggot, who cares if he lives?

I can tell it is dengue, as this user says
Chikunguya doesn't give you fatigue

Tell me Dr.House, have you ever dance with the Devil by the pale moon light?

pops 4 vikoden

What?!

fail aids with comorbid lupus

That's not House idiot

DR.WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND WHT THE FUCK IS THAT

House the guy has Wilson's disease

>pop oxycotin
>slams morphone

HELP TEAM! CARDIAC ARREST!

That's what the quotes from dumbass have you never seen batman?

foreman! break into his house and search for anything that could have caused this.

Quick! Contain the creature

Hum, we found this specimen near his bed

I have and Batman never says that

>sage

He got the disesease, Leddit disease. WE NEED SPIDER-MAN PICTURES AND RARE PEPES STAT