My girlfriend is always dtf, loves sex (in the basic physical way) and lets me do stuff to her...

My girlfriend is always dtf, loves sex (in the basic physical way) and lets me do stuff to her, but she never comes up with anything on her own, and only half-heartedly participates in the stuff I think of.

She has a pessimistic life view that spills into the bedroom. Whenever I ask if she has any ideas or fantasies she just says "We tried everything already" or if I suggest something all I get is "Eh, I guess, but it sounds lame." and that sets us up for failure before we even start.

Everything that we like, every position, every act, I came up with on my own and had to make her do it a few times before she warmed up to it. I'm tired of it, and I just want her to have an idea or show some interest and enthusiasm. Yes, we've talked about this, and her answer is always "Well, what do you want me to do?" I tell her that I want her to have her own passion for something, anything, I don't care what as long as SHE is excited and she doesn't fucking get it.

Her lack of enthusiasm for anything other than "pound and cum" is making me lose enthusiasm, and it's getting to the point where I'd rather just send her home early and jerk it to porn.

How can I fix this?

i get laid like once a month, and its shit anyways.
lighten up and be happy you get to have sex

Stop coming up with new stuff.

get a new hole

this could turn into a healthy, fun, abusive relationship if you play your cards right

This, fuck her in one position until she gets bored, I mean for days or weeks. As long as it takes, eventually she'll want to do something new. Or she'll leave you

Rape her

Send her home early and jerk it to porn.

Cocaine loosens a lot of them up. Don't know why, I'd go for ecstacy first.

>acquire vibrator
>tie her up
>edge her then go take a break to eat/chill
>repeat
>when she begs to cum just put the vibe away, untie her, and go play some vidya.

show her what a laack of interest is like and make her want it

I know, I know, but fuck man I can't help how I feel

Fuck if she wants to be daddy's little girl then fine, I'll take it if she actually gets into it.

I agree with this.

Also, maybe she has enthusiasm for your enthusiasm. Get really into something and just have fucktoy sex with her. Or, just take full control and do whatever you want. Don't let her think about it, just let it be something in the moment. Maybe she'll like it or she'll get you energy for it, who knows?

Same user here. I'm going to expand in something.

She could be turned off by you wanting her to be enthusiastic. That's what I mean in my last post. She can feed off of your enthusiasm. You said she warms up to things eventually, right? Then don't give her the option, because she'll have no opinion and you'll both lose enthusiasm. Let her enthusiasm grow at her pace, and enjoy the steps along the way.

What I'm suggesting is the healthiest way to go about it, IMO. No spite on your end, just understanding of her pacing and your freedom.

my gf is exactly like that except she's not always dtf...its more like she lets me because she loves me. she always cums/squirts but has no desire/initative

I hunkered down and just stopped fooling around/fucking her all together. Only intimacy was a kiss goodbye before work and a kiss goodnight...no cuddling.

she eventually asked me if I was attracted to her still and I told her what I was doing...how I wanted her to show some form of initiation.

it didnt work. its just not her personality. she told me she had laid in bed soaking wet but just didnt want to "bug me"
....meanwhile, my ex would wake me up with bjs and tackle me when i got homee..

some people are just awkwrd/different

Some chicks are like this, some are insane in bed and have higher sex drive and want to try everything. Just become dominant in bed and tell her to shut up and do what you tell her to do, she might like it.

If you kept this up, I bet she'd eventually initiate. But I also understand where she's coming from. She just needs to get comfortable with initiating, is all.

So you got a girl that doesn't know how to fuck, educate her.... Or if she is so pessimistic as you say go fuck her in the cemetery!

This is your only opton at this point.
Deny yourself your own satisfaction no longer!

See but that's what I've been doing for years. I want to fucking get off on HER enthusiasm for a change.

She does like being dominated and tossed around, but the problem is she doesn't reciprocate with anything. She doesn't talk to me, encourage me, roleplay or anything at all to let me know shes into it.

jesus christ. I have this problem with my girlfriend outside the bedroom. So, I just said "fuck it" and took her grocery shopping one time because I needed a few things.lol

user who posted first quoted message here. I agree with this.

Well there you go. she's a submissive cunt hat loves to be dominated, so fucking take her to pound town, and punch her in the B-hole.

Then try again when she's drunk?
Maybe start sharing porn, too. Send her stuff where the girl is encouraging it.

Also, can you describe what it is that you mean? If she's taking it like a sub, what's missing?

talk to her about why it is important for you. You need to explain how this makes you feel that there is a greater sense of intimacy when expressed sexually. You may also want to ask her how she feels.

thats just not how her brain works...she has no desire or motivation to initiate...like a lot of girls, she just thinks guys do/should always make the first move.

its not like I was cold. we joked and still hung out and did stuff togther, i just cut off sex. she immediately took it as i wasnt into her anymore despite the continued effort in the relationship in general

She needs pain. Whip her bare ass with a belt until she's a sobbing mess.

But that's also the first step. You might have misunderstood "first step" for "not working." She wasn't initiating because she thought you weren't interested. Once she breaks that barrier--even once--the next time will be easier and easier for her.

Have a threesome with a friend of hers and basically just fuck her friend in front of her then talk about how great a lover her friend is. That'll light a fire under her cunt.

People never change.

That's retarded. How can people go through an actual life thinking that people don't change? What level of autism negs to be achieved for one to be so completely unaware of the change in other people?

shes tried to initiate...she just has 0 confidence. she was a virgin when i met her. shes not bad and i encourage her but it doesnt work.

ive done this a few times over 3 years and she just wont initiate. ther were 2-3 times where we went 3-4 months with no sexual intimacy.

she just doesnt have that mentality

There's a right and a wrong way to be a sub. A good sub is and active sub who's enthusiastic about her subbyness. She gets into the role, she begs, she calls you daddy or sir or whatever, she roleplays and subjects herself and serves you.

A bad sub is a passive sub who's just lazy.

"she just has 0 confidence"
There's the shit that needs to be fixed, then. I know exactly what she's going through. This is something that can be fixed.

I feel that. There's a difference between being a sub and being passive.
Do you talk dirty? I feel like getting her drunk and talking dirty will help.

Yes, we've all heard that before. But unless you can come up with something better than "Tell her shes beautiful" then gtfo with that bullshit because girls with self esteem issues are also argumentative cunts that will refuse your compliments at all costs. Or at least mine is.

I do, she says she likes it when I do it but won't do it back except for once in a while, and usually it's her answering a yes/no question, not offering anything new.

fuck me too

i know it can. i used to work in an adolescent mental health hospital and doing confidence builing was bread and butter for us.

shes imprved...she couldnt even order her own food or offer her opinions on a matter at age 22.

but 3 years and shes kind of just plateaued

Mine is different. She's the boss bitch of her normal daytime life, but completely inert in bed.

ITT: OP just wants his girlfriend to fuck him in the ass with a dildo but is too scared to do it so is trying to get advice on how to inception her into wanting to fuck him in the ass.

If its really bothering you, straight up ask her if she wants to be with you. Tell her that you want to fuck her because you care about her and you want her to be excited to be with you but you're getting the feeling she's not.

Honestly, she could be fucking someone else already or at least is thinking about it. Or she's just not that sexual and doesn't care. How do you guys get along outside of the bedroom? You guys might be better friends than you are lovers.

That being said, my wife just took a load on her face and let it dry without wiping it off and went to the grocery store with it still there because she thinks its hot. But thats a result of me leaving a relationship like you're in now to be with someone more on your sexual level.

This is the worst, i had a gf who was like that.

Always insecure, always wanting my validation, such a doormat.

And we did discuss that alot, For months i kept trying to get her to be more confident.

was the most draining relationship i have ever been in.

Atleast i learned my lesson, i broke up with her, and now know what i want in a woman. Confident woman is the way to go.

have been single for over a year now, and i think im gonna stay single for another year, cause i still feel like im charging up from that leech like old relationship.

You can't change her. She loves you and sounds very giving. If you are unfulfilled in the relationship, then end it. But take note: there aren't a lot of women out there who will let you push their shit in or use their face as a cumrag without expecting something hefty in return. Appreciate what you have, user.

Zozzle. I love you, Sup Forums.

Just make sure you shout "Hey! Hey! Hey!" as you are giving it to her.

I actually feel for that frustration. Everybody hears "low self-esteem" and thinks "just compliment her more."

The best way I've found to fix a person's self-esteem is to encourage her to break through her comfort zone, and change the environment around her so she has more obstacles in her path that are actually shit she can overcome. She feels small, so she needs more obstacles to prove to herself that she's bigger than they are. That's all insecurity is half the time, just having too many examples of failures and not enough examples of successes, when evaluating you're self-worth.

Calling her beautiful is the retarded way to help a person's insecurity, and often backfires anyway.

Yes, user. Ask her how it makes her feel to hear "this time, with enthusiasm!" as of she were a porn star. It makes her feel like shit, user. That's why she is going through the motions.

Exactly. If she responds enthusiastically "eventually, " them just fuck her how you want until it grows on her. It sounds mean, but we're talking about a girl who has no interests of her own, so

maybe i could apply that to my gf, she is afraid of heights

Because everything *you* like is something that does nothing for her, anonpotato. She might not be that into sex. That's OK. Notice all that shit she does for your sake? She does it *for ypur sake*! This is like saying, "It's a very nice Mercedes, but I want one in blue."

kek

Lost cause op. She needs to grow up.

Leave her and find somebody better.

checked

witnessed

Ask her how she feels? WTF, man! You need to redpill that alpha shit nigger double negging AMOG HB's. And get a suit like that Mystery chap: chicks really dig him!

have you considered just fucking other chicks on the side?

She doesn't want you anymore :(

just dominate her, use her as your fucktoy. don't ask, do.

Have you shit in her mouth yet? If not, start today. Do it regularly. She will be enthused to get back to some of the old stuff once she has been swallowing logs for a while. Trust me.

just don't fuck her for a week or so and make her want you, trust if you fuck all the time it loses its touch but if you just chill for a while and build up some tension it will be great

Are you OP? If so, then yeah, the basic idea can apply.

I see it like this. There are two kinds of insecurity.
A. How you feel overall
B. How you feel relative to a specific scenario.

Thinking of it like math, I'd have something like...
A+B=C
C>X=she does X
C

No no no no. The best way to light a fire under her cunt is to light a fire under her cunt. Use small twigs and crushed up newspaper to get it going. She may look at you funny, or even say, "What are you doing?" That's when you look her right in the eyes and say, "Hey, *you* started this!"

People don't change for your benefit, unless they have an incentive, and usually that isn't even enough.

Happy?

See, like, nobody looks at it like this. This can be a very proactive way of looking at it. This way isn't so fucking defeatist. This is leaps and bounds better than
>*sigh* golly gee people NEVER change );

I liked the story you shared about your wife. The part where you came on her face was my favorite part. Do you have any pictures to illustrate this little tale?

Self esteem comes from the *self*, it can't be complimented into you by others. Agree with you, wiseanon.

im not OP but i would like to work with my gf, not on her. i too dont really like to dirty talk in bed even though its kinda hot

One thing that might expand her horizons is porn, since that's where I learned most of my kinks.

She's not really opposed to porn, she'll watch a video or two with me here and there, she's just not really into it.

But if I could get her into it somehow, like set aside a block of time where she does nothing but look at porn then maybe she'd get into it and get new ideas.

I have no idea how to do this though. If I say it straight up she'll immediately dismiss it.

You are not being fair to her, though, user. She has a right not to be interested in sex. If it was much easier for guys to get laid, we would probably lose interest in it, too.

Did it sound like i implied that this was a "work on her" type of thing? You can work with her on this, too.

You're working ON her insecurities WITH her.

dump her and fuck someone else?

Had the same.
- Look up spontaneous and responsive arousal, some good articles around. Let her read those.
- She smoking? Reduces sex drive a lot.Tell her to quit.
- She smoking? Use lube, and go for a slower pace...

>Guy not interested in sex: No love, he's terrible Relationship over.

>Girl not interested in sex: Its her right, shame on you

I'd agree, but he said she gets interested eventually. It isn't "dismiss her interests entirely," but more like "don't take her disinterest personally because it'll come eventually."

There is another side to this coin: if you think you can "change" someone to suot your purposes, you are dead wrong. Loving someone means accepting them for who they are, as they are. Not expecting them to take on projects because you are unhappy.

OP here, yes, this. If she genuinely doesn't like something then I fully respect that. If she's just being indecisive then that's when I push and she usually ends up liking it well enough.

Or you could just respect the fact that she's not into it. She's your girlfriend, user, not a Netflix queue. You can't "program" her to suit your tastes. Just enjoy showering her with jizz and painting her colon white, OK?

sounds like most women in general

not just about sex

if its not social media or tv then its nothing

there are rare ones tho

Obviously your girl is a sub bro. Just stop asking her and turn into a fucking wild ape that wants to inseminate the female ape through a brutal fucking

Who said that? I wrote the words that you extrapolated that steaming pile of horseshit from, so let me clarify: you can leave a relationship at any time for any reason. Your partner not meeting your needs is actually a good reason to end it and find someone else. It doesn't matter if you are male or female. Geez.

Nothing you've said contradicts what I've been saying. I think we're in agreement here.

Then push, user. Unless she tells you that she doesn't like it. You want her to exercise creativity and spontaneity...and it sounds lile she doesn't have those muscles. So just tell her what you want and let her try her best to please you.

tell her youre into cucking and ill be at your house in a couple hours you gay

This, except don't tell her what you want. This'll give her an opportunity to express her apathy before she gives it a chance. Just go for it. She sounds like she's open enough, just apathetic.

Unless it's something that requires her cooperation.

Another thing you can try is to do what you want her to do. Want her to talk dirty, then talk dirty. Want her to grab you, then grab her. She won't mirror everything, but she'll mirror your tone and be more receptive to future suggestions that match your tone.