I need serious advice Sup Forums
This kid might fight me. Not sure why, but I've been hearing it around. He's pretty athletic, but that's all I know
>be me
>average kid
>more on heavier side
>not really good at fighting
I need solid tips. What are some things I should do, and shouldn't in a fight.
Also, last resorts, etc.
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Get the first punch, always get the first punch.
You need to punch him in the throat. He can't resist when you ass-rape him if he can't breath. Also next step is raping his ass.
Thanks lad. Should I attempt a blow to his head?
I would but
>inb4 jailed for Manslaughter
I train in kickboxing. Just keep your hands up in front of your face at all times. If youre on the heavier side taking him down and getting on top of him will be your best bet.
Just remember keep those hands up and if you get a good tag on him go for his legs and try to bring him down and get on top.
>be me
>kid
MODS
I'll take that in. I've always been told that tackling someone should be my last resort (if losing)
This true or bullshit?
GET MYSELF OUT OF HERE
Serious advice:
Don't freak out, try to remain calm.
You WILL get hit and it WILL hurt. Focus through that initial pain.
Don't attempt to throw a haymaker, it rarely works. They are also easy to counter.
However, don't pull punches, if you're going to punch, then go all out.
Punches to the body will be more likely to land.
Look up how to hold your first, you don't want to hurt yourself trying to hurt him.
If he initiates, most people are right handed and will swing instead of jab, try to throw your arm up to block it.
Watch your stance. If you stand funny, you can fall. If he hits you right, you can fall.
Always keep your guard up.
You're most likely not going to win but don't make it a spectacular ass whoopin'
Listen to me carefully, OP.
If you need to get tips on how to fight, this is the most important one you will ever get.
Don't get into one.
Seriously. If you have no idea how to take a punch, block, kick, or when and how to throw the first one and get it over with, just walk off.
If it's guaranteed he's going to try to fight you, play dirty and go for his eyes first, then his ears. Then land as many kicks as you can to his balls, and slam his head into something heavy.
Then get up and walk off, and don't look back. Seriously. Do not hang around. Don't gloat. Just go.
Get knife
choke him
And if he's going to try to corner you, here's what you do: take the fight to him. Take him off guard, ask him why. If he says "blah blah blah pussy" that's when you say, "I don't want to fight you."
And taser him in the nuts.
first of all, don't act like you give a shit that some rando kid might fight you, because its probably bullshit. Either a stupid rumor or the kid is just talking big.
Secondly, if the kid really does want to fight you, don't play with him. Fuck his ass right the hell up. Don't listen to assholes to give you some bullshit code of honor regarding fights. Hit him right in the dick, as hard as you can.
3rd, don't make the first "move." Which doesn't mean let him hit you first, but don't get involved with any pre-fight displays. Pushing, shoving, shit talking, any of that. Let him act like a chimp, and you just stand there as ready as can be.
Once he touches you though, even for a shove, fucking Attack, because as the Law states, once someone else has "laid hands" on you, you are within your full right to kick the ever loving shit out of them.
>That's a trick drill sergeants use to enforce dicipline, never touch a drill sergeant.
Aside from that, no amount of tips or advice will really help in a fight, unless you train extensively all that information will fly right out the window once the adrenaline hits.
This advice is great. Thank you lad.
I have a few questions, if you don't mind.
How can I properly hold my fist? I've heard to let it slightly open, then close it and follow through as I land it.
Standing up straight will knock me down, keep knees bent and one foot back, right?
Not sure if other cunts may join. Any tips on that?
I'm not planning to fight, but if I have to, I'm only doing it in defense. Thanks user.
Heres a quick story, for everyone who's curious.
This girl had a really nice body, so I told my friend.
>good lookin
>tells friend
>call girl over
>going to joke about friend saying something about her
>wasn't going to
>friend told her what i said
>WAHTTHEFUCK.exe
>girl tells friends
>friends tell her boyfriend
>bf gets mad
>challenges me to fight
>deny
>says he'll meet me in cafeteria
>having real bad feeling about tomorrow
If only I had a taser. Will a 1911 .45 do? (Also, happy birthday to the 1911 :D)
Drop your pants and scream like a psycho, that'll getem for sure
>Not sure if other cunts may join. Any tips on that?
pray they don't? There's not a whole lot you can do if a bunch gang up on you besides run like fuck. Even trained martial artists can get beat down by a group of a few untrained men.
If you really think a group is going to jump you I recommend the dangerous tactic of escalation. A kid once told me he was going to jump my ass after school because I had got into a fight with his faggot friend, and he was going to bring all his other friends too. So I told him i'd bring a bat with me. He scoffed, but I wasn't playing and he could tell. Carried one with me to school the next day, told teachers I was gonna play baseball after school. That kid never showed his fucking face around me again.
Haha! Great story my man.
Shit, I should've done this way sooner.
>inb4 they bring guns
>CNN, 6 Pm news
>user reported dead after what appears to be a gang related fight.
Just google "how to hold a fist". I can explain it but if you're really going to fight I would rather you see it and copy it.
Knees slightly bent, legs spread. One leg slightly behind, fists up, next to your face and with a slight lean forward.
I've only been in two fights with more than one opponent. Best advice I can give is focus on one. If you get lucky and beat him they might back down.
If you don't and they won't stop. Try to flee. Those odds are bad. If you're down, then fucking turtle.
Best tip: Don't fight. If you do, keep your head.
befriend a bigger badder mother fucker, it sounds like a cliche but it fucking works.
Get a big can of pepperspray and spray the fuck out of everyone present at fight (except yourself).
Then,grab the nearest hard object and hit everyone all over their bodies (don't use your fists and legs because it leaves marks).
OP here.
Thanks for everything guys, Let's hope it doesn't get serious tomorrow.
I'm leaving the board for I have finished my goals to have learned. Have a good night, Anons.
(Pornhub Premium is free tonight only!)
Here you go.
Hahaha holy shit! That guy is insecure as fuck!
Setting up a fight just because someone thinks your girlfriend is cute is another level of insecurity.
Don't worry about it that much, that idiot is:
a) A big talking guy who wants to look mighty in front of everyone else an secretly hopes you chicken out of the fight because he doesn't actually know how to fight
b) A big asshole who thinks trowing punches around is fighting, these can be fucked up if you exploit his weak points: nuts, nose (watch your punch, you don't want to break a hand) and stomach (aim for diaphragm).
One punch in any of those palces can finish the fight on place, but if adrenaline acts up and he goes berserk you might want to throw a couple more punches, mix these three places for better results.
This man is wise. So many fights have been won by the party that shouldn't have won because he's expecting you to lose. He isn't starting a rumor and talking shit because he's scared, he thinks he'll look cool winning a fight and against a tubby kid, he's not worried.
As soon as he touches you, move in like the other user said. Don't talk or pussy foot around. And the guy screaming unfair fight is the one on the ground every time. I don't advise going for eyes because that's permanent damage that can land you in legal trouble. But those balls, and the gut, and ears are fucking fair game man.
He's athletic, you're not, but if you're even close to the same height, try to wrestle him down. Wrap your inner elbow around his throat, and lock your hand in place with your other arm, if he's stronger and breaks your grip, you land as many body shots as you can on his kidneys and stomach. Face shots are what everyone wants to see, but in an unskilled brawl, body shots are what win it 9/10 times
kick him in the balls
There is only one way to ensure victory.
If you have never been in a fight, be prepared to lose. Use his weaknesses to your advantage.
Does his leg have support, did he have any previous broken bones, is he right or left handed, does he have training for fighting, if he lifts does he skip leg day?
You have no idea how many fights I've won because the big guy NEVER did leg day.
>This
Chokehold man. Doesn't matter how strong or tough you are, if you can get your arm around his neck (easier than you might think in a fight) then you can just squeeze and squeeze and make him go sleepy time.
>Needs advise from /b for a fight
>Leaves to go fap to "Premium" porn
I hope you get the shit beat out of you tomorrow. Something tells me you deserve it.
Bring a hammer with you
Use your weight as an advantage
Get a knife. Dont stab him at the first chance you get. Stab him at the best chance you get. Even if you take some punches. Go for the throat.
Then go to jail and get buttraped.
Hide a can of beans in your trenchcoat and, when he runs at you, hurl it into his chest.
>BEAN BOY STRIKES AGAIN
You gotta have a one liner. When you bludgeon in his skull with the can you gotta yell
>I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM BEANS
this, golden advice, just as golden as the showers you're getting in prison.
>Hide a can of beans
Nigga are you retarded?
It's "thos" beans
Wear a ring and hit the side of his nose. He'll get dizzy quick with loss of blood.
What the fuck is wrong with you
Let him hit you then press assualt charges on him. He will have have a hard time getting a decent job later in life.
wouldn't it "These" if you're holding the can in your hand when you say it?
THIS
Body shots and unfair fighting
Charlie horse him, Kick him in the shins, the instep, the ankle, smash his hands, twist his wrists.
Grab his hair and smash his head into something. Knee him in the face, the gut, the balls, whatever it takes.
If you go down, try not to be the one on bottom. If you are, keep your elbows at a 45 degree angle from you and keep landing as many body shots as possible.
Strike for the neck, the collarbone, the side of the ribs, and the side of the face.
just say I;m thinking about thahs beans" and toss the bitch
Protip: Bring a gun.
I'm seriously about to vomit from laughing at this
it would be more effective to tie the can to a piece of rope so you get more acceleration in your can
No, don't get the first punch. Use self defense.
Or you could just bring multiple cans hit him multiple times.
Get a bandoleer and stuff it full of bean cans.
Punch him first. Definitely!!
Kek!!!!!! What the fuck is a bandoleer?!
You get a crowbar of some sort. Store it in your backpack, or if you have metal detectors in your school, save it some place near your school that you can easily run to and get once shit starts hitting the fan.
Now, the point isn't actually to start bashing heads in. The point is to pull that shit out and give the most believable psycho grim you can possible give.
Knee, punch, kick, bite his balls. This isn't an mma match, you aren't getting graded on you form and execution. In a street fight anything goes. As a kid I got my ass kicked regularly for being a nerd/geek. I never won any of the fights but I was able to bring some of the beatings to an end by getting a good shot to their balls.
>back hand chop to wind pipe
>head butt to nose hard
its one of them belts you wear across your chest to hold bullets if you're some sorta bandito
Never tried this but if I could go back to my middle school bullies, I'd try it.
>kick in the knee
Not sideways (left or right) but inwards, with forearms blocking your face, in case of counter-attack.
I know what you're thinking, but would he see it coming?
...unless you're really fast, you could trick him/her into thinkng you're throwing a roundhouse punch, but it's really a hook.
Put some coins in a sock and have it in your back pocket
When he comes to fight you pull it out and wack him on the side of his. If he don't go down first blow keep on wacking him until the sock breaks and the coins come flying out.
Believe me he won't bother you again
That's a fukin awesome idea!! That's exactly what I would do!!
Make fist with bic lighter in hand. Bic lighters contor perfectly inside your hand, keeps you from fucking your hand up
How many bean cans do you have??
The most important thing imho is to gain respect so it won't happen again from him or any one. So to do that you have to stand your ground a bit and remember even if you get hurt to hurt him at least a little. If folks know they have even a chance of getting hurt or even beaten they will leave alone. Failing that go crazy, even tough guys don't need with crazy...
But...unless you're afraid of getting hit, keep your distance. Rile him/her up. Make him/her swing more and get tired.
Fuck what the kids around you say...make that bully work for that prey (your ass) even if your ass gets beat, learn from it.
>mfw the autism is just right
I would listen to the bean guy
I would figure out what his problem is with you before it comes to blows.
if you've done nothing to bring this upon himself, then make him feel like shit for being such an asshole.
if if comes down to a fight, try to stay focused, try to get on top of him? Idk, im a big guy so nobody ever fucked with me in highschool
Duct tape blowtorches to your hands charge at him and say NO ONE CAN DEFEAT THE MIGHTY HUMAN TORCH !!!!
Kick him in the nuts fight over
I zozzled
Thinking of it now, that shit is funny.
but also hide beans in your trench coat and throw them after warming them with your blowtorch hands
Ok you are trying way too hard right now. Close this thread, delete system 32 to speed up your hard-drive, then maybe come back to Sup Forums in a few years when you're old enough to be here.
Get your jab and cross technique as good as you can et it.
Get your front push kick technique as good as you can get it.
Get your outside to inside horizontal elbow technique as good as you can get it.
Get your vertical knee technique as good as you can get it.
Get your sprawl as good as you can get it.
Get your BJJ guard as good as you can get it.
Learn half mount.
Learn full mount.
Get your rear naked choke as good as you can get it.
Get your guillotine choke as good as you can get it.
You can develop the most amount of skill in the smallest amount of time by practicing these things with a friend.
Get access to a punching bag.
mr TORCHBEAN will explode the can of beans into the guys nutsack
One funny thing happened and then this other nigga went full blown retarded
Use your weight to your advantage, don't try to trade punches, definitely don't run around after him.
Stand your ground, get your feet under your well so you have leverage and grapple. Throw a arm between his legs lift up and then lean into him with your weight so that you fall forward on top of him. You're now on top of him and he's stunned, so its just a matter of punching him in the face till they pull you off of him.
I did that once to a bully in 6th grade and the sheer spectacle of it kept anyone from daring to fuck with me through highschool.
yeah thanks, I should be able to get all that together by TOMORROW at lunch
>master a martial art.
Or just pocket sand succeeded by a swift kick in the nuts.
OP these fags are going to get your ass beat for you. Stay clear of the fucker following him for awhile to determine when you can isolate him with no witness of cameras. Fuck his shit up with a bat from behind where he never sees what hit him (important only if you're not going to just kill him) Get rid of clothes bat don't carry any electronic devices on you when you do this. If questioned by the police Keep COMPLETELY shut the fuck up. As long as you do this you'll be ok. Remember if questioned the police are just fishing don't bite.
These. There's no such thing as a fair fight. You're not in a ring.
Have a pencil on you and stab him in the shoulder/knee, then break it off.
He will never fuck with you ever.
If ur on heavier side, grab his legs and lift up. This will smack his head on whatever hard surface you happen to be fighting on.
U can also wear sap gloves or conceal a blackjack until the fight starts, then use that.
I thought he was being funny
really the only sensible response.
Please do this
you do realize he's doing it tomorrow
if you are OP, or OP is still here, let me break it down for you.
If he's stronger he'll win. There is very little chance for you to win anything, and if you are in a school situation in America, you'll probably get in trouble even if it's for self defense.
If it does come to fighting tomorrow, and you are not able to avoid it (highly doubt it, but something tells me you won't put in the effort) then remember - he has his target set on your face and stomach. In a stressful situation, he will not see anything else. If you can get over the fear of getting punched there, you can grab his hair, his head, and just force him down.
But you will probably be stressed and forget everything in this thread, and get tackled to the ground. The hardest fights are the ones you walk away from.
Cross
youtube.com
Front Push Kick
youtube.com
Elbow
youtube.com
Knee
youtube.com
Sprawl
youtube.com
Guard
youtube.com
Mount
youtube.com
Rear Naked Choke
youtube.com
Guillotine Choke
youtube.com
There are no winners in a fight - there's just 2 people hurt with one hurt more than the other
If you're heavier than him and he's not athletic, you can try to double leg him and slam into the ground on top of him.
He might be seriously hurt but at least you win.
If he has friends just don't do it user, buy a Taser or some shit, these kinds of fights almost always end in the ground and if you're on the ground, his friends will get that courage boost to beat your ass.
You could get a pepper spray too.
suck his dick
Dude it's a schoolyard scuffle, not MMA.
You need a lot of repetitive practice to get that shot down in muscle memory, as opposed to thinking
>hmmm what did that youtuber say about blocking
while taking a punch
OP, pocket sand, eyes, ears, nose, balls. Have a sharp object with you, but not a knife. You win.
Wait for the punch. It'll most likely come from your left. Dodge forward and bear-hug cling. Pull knife from back pocket while maintaining grip. Maintaining grip is priority.
Stab 3-6 times roughly 4 inches above the hip OR anywhere in the neck.
Then you'll spend 2-24 months in a psych ward if you can cry convincingly enough.
LOL like this lil nigger would learn this all in a small amount of time, these take a lot of time to master.
Just teach him a single leg or double leg max and how to run if shit get serious. Maybe how to posture up on full mount if he manages to get there for gnp.
Bullshit. Always get the second punch, self defence that shit, then fight dirtier than a crack whore.
So you've got to take a crash course, no biggie. It's better than no training at all.
Your brain works best when you've gotten a good night of sleep.
Fucking sleep well, faggot, it's your best chance.
It's good to warm up before physical activity, including fighting.
Start by warming up, doing dynamic stretches, and ten exercise.
You can do static stretching afterwards.
Do not do ballistic stretching.
HOW TO FIGHT CRASH COURSE TIPS:
- keep him at range with kicks
- don't make yourself predictable. If you kick him a lot, mix it up with some fakes.
- if he gets past your kicking range, use punches
- he gets closer than punching range, use knees
- if he gets even closer, use elbows
- mix up knees and elbows if he's that close
- if he grapples you, you know what to do
- sprawl if he goes for your legs
- if you're on bottom, facing up, keep your guard tight
- if it goes to the ground, try to get back up, if you can't get back up, use your Brazilian Jiujitsu skills
- if he goes down, and you're up, fucking kick and stomp on that mother fucker
If I was you I'd boot up Tekken ASAP
Holy shit. Follow these guys advice if you want to be expelled and possibly arrested. In a fight, have a keen eye on your left side especially and keep your concetration on their fists. After they swing first, duck while you see it coming and dive into their feet. If you're lucky, they'll break their nose on the concrete and you can plead self defense, if they're still fighting, survival of the fittest man
>kicks
Kicks are fucking useless. Get into their bubble. Trip them or topple them onto the ground. And rail on them with punches, head slams and stomps.
It takes time to get it down well. It doesn't take too long to learn.
Muscle memory helps, but it's not required.
Like you said, it's school yard bullshit, so OP can probably get away with reaction speed and timing alone.
But the balls is a good point I forgot to mention.
if the guy is fat and stiff, he won't know how to kick, even if he knew his body wouldn't be able to kick well without training.
>Kicks are fucking useless.
Ignorance and delusion or shitposting.
Oh hey, an anonymous person doesn't know what they're talking about
what a fucking surprise
>"if he grapples you, you know what to do"
retard.
you're talking to some fatboy who can't fight. not Rocky.