31y, virgin have 1 month to enlarge dick for first ,whats best way

31y, virgin have 1 month to enlarge dick for first ,whats best way

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lose some fucking weight and you might get laid.

This.

kys and hope for a better dick in the afterlife

meant for first date in 1 month

losing weight decreases the fat in your groin area, effectively increasing the length of your dick. Diet and exercise, retard.

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ON YOUR DICK YOU FUCKING MONGREL?

Wtf is that a homemade dick stretcher

Op you're fucked.

If your dick gets longer your still fucked

Within one month whoever you have a date will probly cancel anyways

Also

>he thinks he will fuck night 1

I have that same comic fam

concentrate on improving yourself and become someone that people want to fuck, rather than trying to stretch your dick or worry about the fact you're a virgin.

also dick stretching, like choking it too hard when fapping, does long term damage to your dick. Enjoy your erectile dysfunction.

Can confirm, I choke my dick too hard and I've stretched it a lot over the years (fetish...) and now it has trouble getting hard, let alone staying hard. Half the time I fap now, it's only a half-chub. I've started just using a vibrator on my dick to cum.

Why does your ruler start at 3cm? Cheater.

Girls aren't into length. They want girth. Besides, with enough foreplay, it doesn't really matter as much

this is just going to make your benis break you dingus.
stretched out thin dick.

dick size doesn't even matter. If you can still nut who gives a shit about the female.

who the fnck measures in cm?? if you want numbers measure in mm

Wow you sure smell smart and experienced!

kys

There is no legitimate way to increase your natural penis size

some shit might make more blood go to it which makes it look bigger but can cause long term damage to the erectile tissue

Ditto pumps and stretching, you might be fooled by short term appearance but your dick's actual size is not changing, you're just fucking up the erectile tissue.

Don't fuck up your dick chasing scams

Quit fucking posting this.

And the funny thing is, people call you a fatass retard every time, you're still trying to shill your cock strangler.

lose weight. you literally will damage your penis forever trying that lengthening bullshit.

work on your self image. your penis isn't the problem.

Mine's 5 and 1/4 inches and I still get laid. Just don't be a fat fuck autist.

op, just be good using your tongue on her, i swear she won't care with the size of your dick

No, but beyond that, girls don't really care about the size of your dick. Look good, know the moves, and you're set. As long as your dick is 4 and above, you can always get Asian pussy if nothing else.

That's it

This is the best advice you can get op
just play cool and then please her, she won't even notice


If you're cumming too fast stop and use the tongue again

My penis is normally 6.5 when erect, however when I was fucking my girlfriend she thought i looked huge and it measured just a little below 8. Maybe it will be larger when you're actually getting action

>get /fit/
>learn Korean
>move to Korea
>get a qt Korean gf
>thinks you have a big dick
>???
>profit

>fucking on the first date
Enjoy your herpes, virginfag.
The only way to make your dick longer permanently is a suspensory ligament release (surgery). This is only marginally effective. You could try pumping (in conjunction with Viagra) but it's only temporary.

Because it's shoved 3cm into his pubic fat?

not op but I have the hardest time getting asians out of anything

Because asians are typically top tier fuck material, at least american ones. If they look good, as well. So they're used to guys hitting on them. Don't hit on them, try to be their friends, and then friend friend zone them.

I've been to japan and china a few times on business related trips, but language barrier was too much to overcome

lose some weight you obese fuck, that way you cock isnt burried under 3 inches of fat

That too. Also, if you're fat, well, you're out of luck. That plays into the "fat american" stereotype.

OP have you tried not being a hairy, fat fuck?

No girl will touch you.

Jesus Christ, OP, you pathetic fuck. Why the fuck do you make this thread every fucking day? You're like the Brandon of dicks. Everyone keeps telling you shit doesn't work, yet every day, here you are.

What a sad, fat sack of permavirgin shit you are. Get some help.

nah I'm pretty good looking, I just have a bunch of tattoos. I'm just gunna wear a suit or dress clothes next time I go I think

>le somehow I feel better about myself

>I'm pretty good looking
>31 year old virgin

Pick one, faggot.

He said he wasn't OP, you absolute fucking retard.

I said not OP, try reading the convo we're having next time

You lost it to a slut

Wtf am I looking at? It's like some sort of dick rocket and the support towers, I keep expecting to hear Houston on the speakers.

I'll give you a workout plan.

- Run everyday. Sprints of course. Do this for at least a half mile until you can make it to a mile on a daily basis.
- Don't eat sweets, chips or any other garbage you usually eat.
- Stay away from sugary beverages. Just drink water.
- Eat at a caloric deficit.
- Do pushups/pullups/situps every day as well. Do these until you fail. Push yourself.

With any luck if you follow this, you'll have lost weight and a 100% better chance of finding a girl.

Kek.

Nah I lost it to a virgin girl when I was a freshman in high school.

Shit. Was. Cash.

Easily the best feeling sex I've ever had. She could also suck dick like it was her last dying wish to do so. I miss her. Then again, she DID become a slut after me, so I guess you're half right.

>She could also suck dick like it was her last dying wish to do so.

This is a man's dream

Aside from surgery, nothing works; enlarging your penis is a myth. Deal with it.

i cant lose weight i always gain it back, i dont even eat a lot never over 2000 kcal a day this for years i just gain fat so easily.

>be 31 yr virgin
>try to impress girl with BIG penis
>spend 1 month stretching it
>grows 1/2 inch
>penis too sore for sex
>forgot that i was virgin
>beef it at sex
>the crowd boos and laughs at me
>1 week later
>still trying to make penis bigger
>accidentally deform penis forever
>did it all for a girl

OP, don't be nervous, the sice of your dick is the last thing you have to worry about

>penis the hedgehog

kek

was your dick in an accident?

...a head on collision, perhaps...?

i dont understand this reference?

If you're at 2,000 and you don't need that much while living a sedentary lifestyle, you're gonna gain weight. Everyone requires different amounts of calories. The 2,000 fits all glove is a big delusional myth.

Can you tell us more about Infinity Gauntlet, please?

look at those spikes

Your belly kind of looks like a hairy ass. That should be a bigger concern than your dick size.

You are watching too much porn if you are so concerned about your dick.

You should focus on getting to know the woman you are dating. Just ask her questions about herself, compliment her, tell her she is attractive without sounding creepy.

And really, lay off the porn.

you're just fat
get some weight off and you'll be grand

I know it's difficult, but a lot of people already said that getting in shape will help, so I'll just post the same info and acknowledge that others have also said it. *insert random insult*

There. Now I am certain I have insulted you and made myself a champion of the internets.

>I always gain it back

Yeah no shit dude. If you never work out you will get fat again.

Try running once in your life

>HURR MY JOINTS

Go biking then.

Shit taste in comics confirmed

You don't have a month to get your dick bigger. Your size is fine. You have a month to get those spikes off the corona of your glans.

SJW troll spotted

they are not coming of, its part of the dick you cant rub them of

Huh?

It's this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hirsuties_coronae_glandis
It's fine, not a disease or anything.

well i its over 1000 pages and its about thanos and lady death , he is in love with her and in order to please her he want to kill half of the life in the universe thats why he need the gauntlet and the infinity stones, which where in the beginning of the universe creation.

>lost it to a virgin girl
>she DID become a slut after me
IKTFB. I created a literal monster.

The average burn at rest is 60kcal/hour (1440kcal/day). 2000kcal is too much for a sedentary 'lifestyle'.

1 appel is already 60 kcal oomg and i just ate pine apple pizza

Can you make a video of that plz?

a former roomate was eating fast food snacks and choklate all day, doing nothing but smoking pot and looked like he just came out of auschwitz so how is that possible

Oke i am going to give it too you straight.
You are masturbating way to much, /b is flooded with porn.
Nothing but lonely losers ejaculating excessively, destroying their testosterone levels.
Our only weakness , porn.
After ejaculation you are calmed you are made docile and lose all motivation.
This needs to stop, this is the reason our birth rates dwindle.
This is the reason why /b turned weak , we are all contempt wankers, drained of our manly juices that makes us /b.
We let our guard down now tumbler and reddit have grown in numbers ,they made us weak with this infection of porn.
It is time we put our sperm in nothing but jars or women, no more little swimmers waisted on webm`s.
No more ejaculation unless it is for the cause of /b.
It is time for discipline, It is time we make /b great again, It its time we stop masturbating with out a cause.
/b unite ,Abstain , Return to your natural form of frustration, hate, contempt and anger.

Your mission , no masturbation for 9 days too reach the maximum amount of testosterone in your system.
This will also flush the build up oestrogen out of your system and reduce your bitch tits.

This guy nails it youtu.be/hbIaP6dZzDA when it comes to the psychological effects you get from excessive porn and fap habits.
You clearly suffer from the beta observant complex.

Do not watch any porn.
Sexual stimulus causes the prostate to produce prostate fluid that over time becomes a carcinogen.

If you roll dubs or higher in this thread you get a 7/10 gf, trips gives you a 7,5/10 gf etc.
If you already have a gf you get a second one.

Shit 9 days, fuck that shit bro.

Not OP, but i'm gonna give this a shot. I really need some discipline.

>how is skinny roomate skinny
Badass metabolism, I'd guess.

i wank 7 times a day solely on material from b. plz send me more over kik , nudes, videos and i will masturbate. kik erikalfonso.

stop making these thread fucking autist with down syndrome

That dick stretching shit don't work. You end up with a bunch of foreskin but your actual bones won't get any larger.

Holy fucking shit, you autismo, stop pushing in your fat. Your dick is tiny. Pushing in your protruding fat isn't going to magically make it look huge.

yythere is no need for you to reply, go back to the trap threads , also post trap webms so i can fap

>muh vital force
>muh testosterone
>muh obvious bait
Ayurvedic mysticism. Pajeet can't into how hormones actually work.

...

Man, your size is fine and your cock is suckable. Your real problem is your insecurity. If she wants to do you without previously knowing your dick, she will most probably do it after meeting it, so don't be ridiculous. Also, if you gain fat so easily, try gaining muscle to improve your look, self image and increase your metabolic rate. Remember a good shack has its base in at least having an average cock and the rest of it consists in being able to move it like it's the Olympics.

if this isn't bait you really must be stupid.
>thinks dick is small cause you're fat
>thinks dates are made 1 month in advance
>thinks fucking commences on first date with a virgin
>thinks dick stretchers do anything besides ruin your dick
>thinks girls only fuck after careful inspection and measuring of said dick
>comic book fag just can't figure out how mating works
there isn't enough text on the internet to explain the problems here. this man has your final solution.

>tfw we're all playing in to OP's faggoty SPH thread

That doesn't fucking work. You can't just pull on your dick to make it longer you fucking autist.

>"b-but muh internets"
No, you retarded faggot. If this stupid shit worked everyone would be walking around with their fucking dicks dragging on the ground.

gaine 5 inches and 2 in girth

>able to determine how suckable cocks are
why don't you tell us how you became the premier expert on the suckable potential of cocks