Useless super powers thread. Post shitty powers that might be cool but don't really give you any value

Useless super powers thread. Post shitty powers that might be cool but don't really give you any value.

>The ability to run backwards while looking like you're running forwards and vice versa.

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The ability to stretch like Mr. Fantastic. What a dumb power it's only useful when you're too lazy to get up from your seat to grab the TV remote

but think of all the things you'd be able to shove up your butt.

The ability to detect the nearest none-threat to you

Willed hair growth

It takes you at least 2 seconds to remember your own name

the ability to travel time but you can only go forward and you age accordingly

THATS TERRIBLE

>The ability to run backwards while looking like you're running forwards
youtube.com/watch?v=H4JtRIECpG0

The abilility to blow yourself up making a huge explosion
But u die

the ability to hallucinate at will... but the catch is when you're hallucinating you dont know what normal is and can't go back until you go asleep and wake up.

you're a nigger

The ability to turn into a tree

Off course OP starts the thread with a pretty useful superpower as usual

Imaging all the money you could make in backwards running competitions

I don't know... I think any one of these could make for a pretty good man vs Self scifi novel or at least a sketch...

Like being a human daisy cutter and you die. The character could get involved in a shady heist in exchange for the medical needs of a family member... but at the last second he destroys the operation and kills those in charge, family member never recovers

I WANT OPINIONS ON MY SUPERPOWER

Is there some lucrative underground backwards racing ring I'm not aware of or something...?

the ability to run fast, evade police, be good at basket ball and be good at thieving

but your a nigger

That would be brilliant. Do mad styles to your hair, next morning just cut it off and grow back. Hair doesn't get damaged or tangled

...

Sign up for some extra shifts at work like 14 hour shifts. Fast forward and collect your winnings

sounds like fun

and promptly get fired because you're time traveling and not working

It's not even a superpower, more a slight disablility

>evade police,

seems cool too me

>last of us

The power to get dubs but only for people who reply to my posts

the ability to talk with fishes

ha, what, that's malarkey

Most superpowers are useless IRL anyways

>the ability to run fast, evade police, be good at basket ball and be good at thieving.

but black
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Ability>Race

Implying it doesn't work like in movie Click

the ability to fart the alphabet while sleeping

implying it does

Good for burglars.

'Hey, Gabony do hear dat?'
'Sounds like da alphabet'
'Shit someone's up, we better move,
'Sheeeet'

the ability to grow the size of your nipples

It does.

I have very small nipples so I would find utility with this

pics or GTFO

every hair that falls from my body made the place where it fell smell like flowers

nah-ah

the ability to appear at will in any episode of icarly but you always get dunked on

Would love to but my camera is too powerful for Sup Forums's 2mb limit, even with the quality set to minimum.

...

the ability to make your reflection do things other than what you're doing

That would be brilliant, lovely smelling house and combine with and I would be unstoppable

The ability to make 10/10 undertale sequels at will but it's fans love you

omg

What phone? Have you tried changing the aspect ratio?

Make reflection dress as trap and masturbate furiously

Isn't that a trait that Muslims have evolved over the years in order to aid in the survival of the species at the cost of some of the individuals within it?

...

>the ability to grow the size of your nipples
>unstoppable

please elaborate

the ability of shitting glitter

nah

Yeah I can get it to sd but it's still too big. It's like the newest Samsung

The ability to enjoy bad movies as long as you dont know they're bad going into them

that is objectively the best power mentioned yet.

The ability to speak like Adam Sandler

>Stop looking at reviews
>get Amazon Prime account
>unlimited entertainment for life

W

The abiliyty to see out my dick

I don't know man, I set my LGV20 to 4:3 and it works just fine.

I don't really want to see your nipple, though, so nothing lost here

Ability to only crush people's bones with your toes

The ability to place your own taste buds anywhere else on your body

The ability to invert someone's controllers at will

the ability to urinate from nose

Would be useful when on bus or cinema and need to go. Just blow into bottle.

The ability to fly on but you have to pay the price of a first class ticket

The ability to sniff any asshole at any distance on this plane of existence

You must be new here...

The ability to turn your eyes 360 to look at your own brain

A couple years give or take. I tried

The ability to make any amount of any drug appear out of thin air but your mother disapproves

Have you ever heared of resizing images? Fucking dumb bitch

The ability to have soul but not be a soldier

my grandma can do that indefinitely

the ability to teleport any black african to your current location

I'm on my phone and it doesn't have paint

>holiday to Turkey
Your problem now bitch

ability to make anyone orgasm by looking at them

>Take a swim in the sea
Entire race drowns to death

The ability to smell like a nigger at any time

If you have a samsung. Open the pic in your gallery.
>step 1

Ability to turn anything the color pink.

>step 2
You fucking autist would deserve to be beaten

The ability to make her love me again xDD

How is this useless? Oh because you're a faggot
>xDD

I'll try but it's hard to understand it in Spanish

Just follow the steps you idiot

that was quick

The ablity to make her stop loving me

Star in the next DC super hero movie, but do nothing impressive.

The ability to stay awake, but only when you don't want to

wtf, lucky girl friend.

The ability to do work in real time, but you can't get a job.

Just looked it up. My phones too good and they removed the resizing options in their newest phones. I don't have the same options as you

>too good
Yeah okay

My balls dance every time i here Tay tay, they swing to her sweet soft voice..

Every time someone hands you a dollar bill, you are able to turn it into four quarters.

The ability to get any girl you want but you have to wear a condom