ITT: THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE CUBS LAST WON THE WORLD SERIES

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I jerked off

I ejaculated

>these threads can never be as funny anymore

It's almost sad.

I'm sure there are other failure teams willing to fill the void.

the invention of the stock market

Yeah, Cleveland!

The Soviet Union rose and fell.

Two World Wars. They almost made it to 3.

>Things that have happened since the Cubs won the World Series
Nothing.

People blowing off fireworks outside of my house

I dunno... I like... sent a text message or something. Fuck, this sucks. Where were you the night the memes died?

I breathed in and out a couple hundred times.

Your family's bloodline died, assuming you are an only child

:)

More than 100 years of shame? Not for a LOOOOOONG time.

i took a piss

I lost my virginity

...

I scratched my balls a few times

The first African American was elected President of the United States of America.

>I scratched my nuts
>My ass hurts from straining on the toilet
>I can't decide whether to jerk off or go to bed

I cried

I am crying

Dude WW1 didn't even happen yet.

I closed all the tabs of tranny porn

I

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are the toronto maple leafs the longest losing AAA team atm

as a torontonian i would so take the piss out of toronto stanley cup threads

We invented virtual reality device in which you can have sex with a fully customization fictional character while a machine jerks you off thus simulating that you are actually having sex.


Welcome to the future, Cubs

i wonder is this thread will be around when hillary wins

My post got sticky'd, I got a gf.

Mexico recovered California.

Elizabeth II was born and became a great grandmother

:)

>no more ottoman jokes

there's a caliphate joke in there somewhere now that ISIS exists

Hillary Clinton was indicted.

OP is still a faggot

Me and the wife "celebrated".

Twice.

I ordered a pizza

Every lyric of We Didn't Start the Fire

youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g

I took a shit

>:)
Terrible.

The trailer for Trainspotting 2 was released.

>last eries
cars were in absolute infancy.

>this eries
cars can basically drive themselves.

WW1, WW2, communism, fall of communism, Bush, Clinton, Obama, Yeb!

nukes

etc

two people were murdered in Chicago

It's been less than a day since they won you fucking retard

Is 2016 the year of meme magic?

>We split the atom

And thus was borne an army of memes

I shitposted and jerked off.

Same

I ate a pretty decent sandwich

Damn, good call. thanks for letting me know.

Cutler took an insulin shot

I went to the store after work and bought a commemorative hat.

I ate breakfast

>all these retards missing the point of this thread

I busted an unsheathed nut in my hijabi gf

The Model T was introduced the same year the Cubs won their last World Series before this one. Let that sink in.

2 million Germans died in WW1
7 million Germans died in WW2

Still not enough

Our military kill ratio was 2:1 and we also ended 6 gazillion God's Chosen People TM so it all went better than expected. Only the land loss is a bit tragic.

Chapman was traded off (thats what epstein was thinking about last night while fucking his landwhale)

what does this even mean

I mean Erdogan is trying to resurrect the Ottoman Empire with him as caliph
I'll give it a year before you can make more Ottoman jokes

HOLY FUCK

THEY DID IT

THE CUBS DID IT

C U B S
U
B
S

HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

THE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBS!!!!!!!

What are you talking about? Now we use those jokes for Cleveland :^)

You knuckleheads lost Prussia and Alsace/Lorraine because you guys could settle for a partitioned Poland. You guys lost a third of your pre 1939 land mass because die Fuhrer was too fucking stubborn to listen to sound battlefield advice prior to Case Blue, Kursk and Moscow.

Fuck you and your dire need for living space, asshole. Find it iron you guys would get flooded again with sand niggers lately. Now all is needed is for a massivewave of kikes to return.

>b--bbbbut Article 231 is unfair

As the Kaiser once said (rather bitterly to a top official) "....you made this stew....now eat it"

The stock market has been around for hundreds of years

>tfw can't use the cubs pasta anymore
Might as well post it one last time
>Radio was invented; Cub fans got to hear their team lose
>TV was invented; Cub fans got to see their team lose
>Smartphones became a part of daily life; Cub fans got to find out of about their team losing from anywhere on Earth
>Baseball added 14 teams; Cub fans got to see AND hear their team lose to more teams
>George Burns celebrated his 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th and 100th birthdays
>Haley’s Comet passed Earth… twice
>Harry Caray was born… and died
>The NBA, NHL and NFL were formed, and Chicago teams won championships in each league
>Man landed on the moon, as have several home runs given up by Cub pitchers
>17 US presidents were elected
>There were 12 amendments added to the Constitution
>Prohibition was passed, and repealed
>The Titanic was built, set sail, sank, was discovered, and became the subject of major motion pictures… the latter giving Cub fans hope that something that finishes on the bottom can come out on top
>Wrigley Field was built and became the oldest park in the National League
>Flag poles were erected on Wrigley Field roof to hold all of the team’s future World Series pennants. Those flag poles have since rusted and been taken down
>A combination of 47 summer & winter Olympics have been held
>Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown; as have twelve horses
>Bell bottoms came into style, went out of style, and came back into style
>The Boston Red Sox won 4 championships, traded Babe Ruth, were cursed for 86 years, broke the curse, and still had time to win two additional championships
>The Ottoman Empire still existed the last time the Cubs won
>The last time the Cubs won, former slaveholders had front row seats
>Arizona became a state, got a baseball team, and won the world series
>My grandchild will post this copypasta in 2080 and the cusbs will still suck

Only 2?

In your dreams kiddo