Mom asks me to make some coffee

>Mom asks me to make some coffee
>Ask her how many teaspoons of sugar she wants
>She asks for 1
>I put in 2

ahahAhaahAHAHA!!!!!!!!! it's like a switch that flciks i'm just CRAZY LOL xd

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=_bliOg_dx4Q
youtube.com/watch?v=b6La09p6_eg
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

>mom tells me to take the trash out
>mutter "fuck u bitch" as i walk outside

watch my sissy hypno femdom porn WITHOUT ANY HEADPHONES
#MGF!

>"user run to the store and pick up some chips"
>come back an hour later empty handed
>"user where's the bags of chips?"
>MFW I tell her I went in, picked up a bag, put them down and came back home
someone nEedS tO LoCK mE uP!!

a subtle meme user

>cashier says "have a nice day"
>I don't
SOMEBODY STOP ME

>running around the house like an absolute maniac
>mom says, "chill out"
>later, mom says, "why is the freezer open?"
>snicker to myself at the inside joke and insanity i have unleashed

>go to see a movie
>buy a ticket
>"enjoy the movie!"
>I don't

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

A B S O L U T E M A D M A N

Get help user.

>ask parents to teach me how to tie my laces for weeks
>they finally do
>start wearing velcro every day
MUAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

>watching it with speakers on full blast

Jerk off in mom's panties.
Don't clean them up.
Wear them for 3 weeks in a row while she wonders where they went.
That is, heh, UNTIL SHE HAD TO CLEAN THEM AAAHHHHHAHEEEHEEE HA

I hope you also literally ran. You'd lose some MADMAN points if you didn't. Can't be an *ABSOLUTE* MADMAN without a perfect score.

>working at some fast food restaurant
>absolutely love my job
>decide to throw some pranks out on customers
>all in good fun
>guy comes in sweating from the heat outside
>asks if he can have a couple of ice cubes in his drink
>not the norm but what the hell
>come back with the drink snickering to myself
>he takes a sip and I burst out laughing
>he grabs me violently and shouts at me
>WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRINK
>tell him behind fits of laughter that he asked for a couple of ice cubes and I only put in one

>"See You Next Tuesday."

>this thread

>Me and my so called family get into car to leave for church
>"oh shoot user, I left the kitchen lights on! Would you be a dear and run inside to turn them off?"
>A grimace erupts across my face, a wicked light inhabits my gaze
>"why yes mother...I think I could manage that..."
>Walk inside and enter the kitchen
>My grimace erupts once more, all sanity leaves me
>"waha! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
>jumping up and down frantically, laughing and flipping the kitchen lights on and off as fast as I can
>Family dog begins to hide in the corner, I kick his dog bowl and do a cartwheel, still laughing
>Stand back and admire my destruction, evilly satisfied
>Compose myself and walk back to car, lights still on
>get back in cae
>"thanks user, my honey boo!"
>No problem ma'.....HAHAHAHA, NO PROBLEM

J-LIST IS GONNA FREAK!

MOMS GONNA FREAK

>Sister asks me to break her hymen by putting a finger inside her
>I hold her down and push my penis in instead

MOM'S GONNA FREAK

>mom comes into my room
>told me to go to turn off the laptop and go to sleep
>folds down laptop
>pretend to sleep
>browse Sup Forums a minute later

AhahahAHAHAShaHaHA Im FrEAkiNG MENTAL

YOU DID WHAT?

kek

>ask burger king cashier for water cup
>fill it with sprite
>sip it conspicuously while giggle-humming and standing too close to patrons at the pick-up counter

>reading soda bottle
>"Please Recycle"
>smirk to myself
>smugly and deliberately place bottle into recycling bin
>WITHOUT RINSING

>Friend just told me about his new girlfriend
>Look her up on facebook
>Fap to her profile picture
HAHAHAHA the moron doesnt know I just fapped to his girlfriend

>Dad tells me to get a job
>Fill out an application
>Get an interview
>Don't show up for it
Hahahahahhahahhahhaha I'VE LOST IT

I actually did this too!!! We should be partners in crime, fellow jokester

>anons are posting about capeshit
>I post a post to my thread instead

>go to McDonald's
>order a small coffee
>the cup says "CAUTION: HOT"
>I down it in ten seconds and aren't cautious at all
>can feel my vocal cords disintegrating as I laugh to myself

>reading a book together in class
>my page has a swear word in it
>pretend to struggle saying the word right after the swear
>teacher tells me the word
>start sentence again just so I can say crap twice in one lesson

>ask friend for his unfinished fl studio project so i can """check out""" his creative process
>upload it to my own soundcloud and write " song i made " in the description

when im famous off his song he'll be tearing his hair out!

>hurt yourself laughing
holy shit...is this the joker's origin...?

what is this

you are insane

>anons are still shitposting about capeshit
>I still post about my thread

The shit int his thread is insane and if you did this when younger with your mom you are are a future or present serial killer. This isn't a joke.

>Working at Fast Food restaurant
>Hand a fat guy his burger
>say "Sorry about your weight"
>He says it wasn't long at all


The voices in my head told me to!! HHAHAHAHAH

>mom makes me go to sleep early and miss out on a WoW raid
>next morning when she goes to work I pee on her pillow and spit in her bottles of wine

M I S C H I E F

>go to the gas station
>pay the shop keeper $10
>pump goes up to $10.02
>drive off without paying the remainder
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

villainous

Cool, we can make Mom's freak everywhere.
Pic related is me

>tell someone to stop samefagging
>that someone is actually me

nobody will ever know hahahahaha
they'll never know!

>get hit by car
>paramedic screams "don't you die on me, damnit!"
>die anyway

LOCK ME UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

SOMEBODY LOCK HIM UP

How is that Joker like at all?

YOU'RE A MADMAN! A COMPLETE MADMAN! YOUR MOM IS GONNA FREAK!

>'user, go do the dishes please'
>mom comes in 5 minutes later to find me hilariously fucking the chinaware
>'what the hell are you doing, user?'
>'DOING the dishes, mom'
>laugh hysterically
>cum on the dishes

you freaked out your dog AND your mom? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE - HAHAHAHAHAHA

youtube.com/watch?v=_bliOg_dx4Q

LOL totally sweat bro!. NExt time you shouls switch the suger with the salt to REALLY f^ck with her RIGHT?! rofl!

Because mom freaked!

>homeless dude asks for $.02 so he can afford the bus pass
>don't give him my advice
OHOHOHO AHHAHHAHAHAHA

>mom giving me my weekly penis inspection
>she mutters something about it being big and delicious
>it's actually average

>late night
>want to take a piss
>go to the bathroom, its next to mom´s room
>open the lid
>piss right in the middle to make as much noise as possible instead of pissing on the sides of the bowl

>gym asks me to wipe down equipement after using it
>dont
BWAHAHAHAHAH IM JUST TOO CRAZY

>go into bathroom
>dude using one of the 10 urinals
>take the urinal beside him
yOu CaNt StOp Me!

>go to the movies to see Deadpool
>sign on screen tells me to turn off my cellphone
>only put it on vibrate instead
>can now text without anyone knowing

>take a job as an English tutor
>student shows me her essay due tomorrow
>read it
>student asks, "how is it?"
>"you need to rewrite it tonight, and I cannot help," I say
>essay was actually really good and probably would have gotten a 100
>go home and fap to the student's panty pics i took with my shoe cam

get on my level

>go to the post office and use the under 5lb designation
>my package is actually 5.03lbs
TOO CRAZY 4 THIS TOWN

>friend breaks his arm and leg in motorbike accident
>pretty much smashed the entire left side of his body up
>we all visit him in hospital to cheer him up
>everyone giving genuine heartfelt condolences
>my turn to cheer him up
>"it's okay mate, you're going to be all right"
>he thought I said alright
had to step out of the room to laugh at that one!!!!

>go on adult website
>asks if im 18
>actually 34
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>waitress brings back bill after i paid for my meal
>this is when you are supposed to give a tip
>say, "are you ready for your tip?"
>waitress looks confused
>"here's a tip for you..."
>wait like 30 seconds just staring at her like a madman
>waitress about to walk away
>"here's a tip: check under my plate"
>reveal a 25% tip

waitress must still be playing that scene through her head - "wow what a psycho"

I wish I was as mad as you.

>OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what did he mean by this

>officer pulls me over and tells me to put my hands on the back of my head
>hover hand my hands instead of touching my heads
ahahhaAHHAAHHHAHHAHAH

Lol

This is fucking retarded. Why does this board have the worst memes? This is almost as stupid as baneposting

>speed limit 50mph
>go 51
its like IM TOO CRAZY for THIS TOWN

>mom says, "綺麗にして”
>she's telling me to clean my room
>綺麗にして can also mean lick the cum off a dick
>i do the second one
>come back home with cum all over my face
>"i 綺麗にした," i say to my mom

fuckin owned!

dont make me go CRAZYYYY you wont like it when im CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYY ahahahaHhahahhhahhahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

>damaged
I can't get over it.

Eatadickimas

it needs to age a bit before it can be enjoyed properly

Sup Forums should spam no meme before its time.

Wanna see a magic trick?!

Baneposting is fucking awful, I just ignore all the bane threads/posts

This thread is great though

>quote post
>don't answer question in post

someone put me in a straightjacket

>read the Terms of Service
>disagree with it all
>click agree
>still use product
OOOOOOHAAHAHAHAAOOOOOO SOMEBODY CALL BATMAN

>get a burrito for me and my mum
>she asks me to get her the medium burrito
>i order her the spicy burrito!

AH MUMMA NEED ANY EXTRAS? CAUSE I'M TOTALLY NUTS!

it's either stuff like this, discuss the usual capeshit/GoT/whatever crap, or sit in an actually decent thread that's slow as fuck because the conversation pretty much dies out after 20 replies.

>BE ME be me
>mom asks me "hey user can you come here real quick?"
>I walk up to her
>guess what
>guess what I DID
>she told me to come here quick
>so you know what I did
>she said
> SHE said "come here quick"
>so I did what any super psychotic absolute malicious angry man would do
>I said "is this quick enough for yOu?!?"
>and I slowly inched toward her
>shows you bitch
Fuck you mom whore cunt ass cock whore cunt

WOOAH SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT BECAUSE THIS MAN IS ON FIRE AND HAS NO CHILL

>tell mom I'm going to get a tattoo
>she tells me I better not
>don't get one

I'M SO MAD

>mom adds one to good boy points
>I snicker
>what's funny, user?
>oh, I've just remembered something funny from church
>she doesn't even suspect that I keep a tally of twisted fucking psychopath points under my bed

>Baneposting is fucking awful, I just ignore all the bane threads/posts
FAGGOT

>go and buy a king mattress
>actually lowborn
U CANT STOP ME!

>mom asked me to get a job
>said I'd do it
>didn't do it and kept fapping in her basement for the last 6 years
AHAHGHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Insane in the membrane......

>working out
>routine says do 10 pushups
>only do 9 even though I can do more
I CANT STOP MYSELF

>die multiple times in dota
>say """it's only a game guys chill im just having fun"""
>you're actually trying as hard as you can

hahahahahahaha ruined their night

Oh my god! That is so wild!

>coming out of the mall with my parents
>ask them for the keys to the car
>we are leaving through a revolving door
>take a quarter out of my pocket and jam it in the track while my parents are in the compartment behind me
>they're stuck
>I have the keys
>smile to myself as I drive to gamestop thinking of them battering the glass like the trapped insects they are

>In church
>priest asks everybody to bow their heads in prayer and close their eyes
>leave my eyes open
F**K THE ESTABLISHMENT

>waitress asks what I want to drink
>say water
>actually wanted sprite
CSCRRASAZZYZYYYYY JAARREEEEEEEEED IN THE HOUSE

ahgahaha what a dumbfucking WHHHHHHHHHHORE

>priest asks us all to join him in prayer
>say my own, more heartfelt and personal prayer
WHO'S READY FOR WESTERN SCHISM PART TWO??

AHAHAHA

what are you up to bro
why you posting aizen

youtube.com/watch?v=b6La09p6_eg

>drinking a landshark beer
>wearing a Miller Lite t-shirt

>Mother asks me to cosign a home loan for her.
>I call her a bitch and tell her she had no business having as many children as she did with my father.
I'm destined to die alone.