How do I lure Jay into my windowless van?

How do I lure Jay into my windowless van?

I'M DYING SHEILA

With promises of a brighter future.

Possession BD and poster signed by Isabelle Adjani, Sam Neil and Zulawski

Why is he so perfect?

lauren?

>hey little feller, I have a mint boxset of David Lynch movies in my van here.
And then chloroform.

Have you tried cooking him some pizza rolls?

Just put Shock treatment on a fishing line and reel him in.

His face would be aesthetic as fuck if he just filed his teeth a little bit

"Hey, Jay. C'mere."
(Shake Pringles can)

>Wisconsin

Spotted Cow and Brats.

Promise him he'll never have to see Mike or Rich ever again.

say that you're going to get experimental and subversive

Borderline experimental?

Become a cute twink

pretty much this
'Zulawski meet & greet inside!'

Ask him to enter it.

If he says no just tell him that Mike is in there too.
He will instantly change his position on entering your van.

A trail of Evil Dead collectibles leading to one of those cardboard box-with-stick traps.

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior is about to come on BBC America. Should I watch it?

>You: "Hey Jay hop in!"
>Jay: "What? Why would I do that? I am never going into your windowless van."
>Mike: "Actually Jay I think I am going to check it out."
>Jay: "Okay I didn't say I would never go into it. Maybe make a little room or something."

These guys are dumb