Most people at school know me, and we talk, but never about anything. We only exchange hellos and goodbyes. I'm extroverted as hell and i believe I'm funny. I make people laugh anyway. I always reach out to people, but nobody reaches out to me. My thumbs are sore from always texting and typing. I don't share interests with anyone, and I don't like video games. I don't even have a PC. Just a MAC. Every night I squeeze my eyes tight and pretend that I'm getting a snapchat, or a text from someone and we're just having this amazing conversation. I pray and hope this happens, but I have a strong feeling it won't. I love movies, and my screenplay is the only thing keeping me from taking my dad's gun from his closet and killing myself. That along with my family, and my pets. I have these dreams of just being happy for once, but something happens that just reinforces my insecurities and my sorrow. I have a great fucking life, two loving parents, and my sister, so I feel like a dick anytime someone tells me about their goddamn Dave Pelzer-tier sob story about their abusive parents or shitty life.
I'm currently losing weight by dieting and running on my treadmill, and it's not too difficult. I just get scared that the only thing people will say to me once I've lost the weight is that I look better, and then they'll walk away.
I don't want to get laid, I don't want a gf, I just want a friend. just that. just someone I don't have to constantly reach out to. Someone who likes stuff that I like.
And to top it all off, nothing turns me on anymore, I just feel hollow. I can't bring myself to fap.
Feels Thread
Gavin Clark
How old are you?
Joseph Bailey
18
Asher Wilson
How long have you felt like this? Because either this went on for ages, or you've convinced yourself that your life has always been this way. I'm not patronizing or anything, just trying to figure your situation out.
Michael Barnes
I hate having this fucking complex about myself, and it won't go away.
Lincoln Young
I've really felt this way since I went from homeschooling back into public school. So middle school.
Alexander Howard
Maybe I'm just needy. That's probably it.
Adam Howard
A lot of people have complexes, and I feel that a lot of people have felt this way. I'm by no means a professional, but maybe don't give too much "power" to this feeling? Sure, ponder over it and philosophise and feel down and all that jazz, that's cool, but also realise the value in rationality. I find that with deep introspection, I can always find the answers. How long that takes depends on my pride.
Chase Murphy
Then make a fucking friend. It's not rocket science. Quit expecting everything to be handed to you like it already has your whole life.
Caleb Harris
This. Stop being a pussy, OP. It's your fault you're unhappy.
Jonathan Murphy
I try, man. I really do. I always try to stay in touch with people. Ask them how their day was, and listen to them talk about their feelings. But nobody does that for me. And when I stop doing that, nobody talks to me. What the hell am I doing wrong?
Ethan King
I fucking bamboozled myself and I can't snap out of it.
Jacob Adams
me too
Owen Walker
thanks
Dylan Diaz
are you a cigarette smoker? thats what ruined my life and fapping
Jaxson Bell
Some advice I found on this board:
Nothing is wrong. Even if something seems like it's wrong- there is nothing wrong. When I say and think this to myself when I am stressed it immediately seems clearer and I remember that nothing is really wrong.
Jordan Nguyen
Never smoked before. But great job for quitting. Keep it up, every day gets easier. Just like me and pastries, and cookies, and pies, and sugary shit. It's not worth going back to.
Asher Moore
That's interesting.
Kayden Butler
never said i quit fgt, maybr you are a fgt fgt
Xavier Jones
Maybe you're being overly friendly and it's creeping everyone out? I have a hard time trusting overly friendly people, I always assume they're up to something.
Cameron Kelly
But some people on this board think abusing animals and stealing shit is "not wrong". Some people are just plain fucked, and many things are wrong.
Nolan Robinson
Well if you're smoking now, just consider quitting. You'll feel better I bet. Or just start smoking cigars in public while wearing aviators and a derby hat. Also, dress in Tommy Bahama wear. Drive a cadillac el dorado. Cherry red convertible. Live in Cuba. Start a rum business.
Landon Ortiz
Come on, you are 18. You will meet a lot of people, and I really mean a lot. You'll know when others want to be friends. Also, you need a girlfriend. If you are like you say, that will not be so hard. And once you have one, get another one. If you can't have friends, you can always have as many bitches as you want.
Alexander Bell
eliminate the jews?
Blake Carter
Maybe it's desperation. I give off that vibe i think.
James Cox
Jews in Cuba? What? I don't think so
Dylan Parker
Thanks man!
Nathan Bennett
im also like this its called depression and a tip is don't drink alchohol ;)
Luke Brown
Addiction runs in the family, so I strayed away from alcohol. Instead I turned to food and that got me up to 350 lbs :( I'm down to 310, but it's a long fucking road.
Charles Bell
only 1500 in Cuba. You can do it.
Charles Sullivan
dang good luck man
Jason Lopez
Well thank you all for helping me out with some hard feels. The thread's about to expire i have a feeling, but all of you guys and gals are really sweet.
Kayden Sanders
I didn't mean that's 'wrong' as in immoral or unethical - I just meant like OH SHIT something is just wrong in my life
Elijah Cook
It helps me out a lot actually , not only keeps the day to day bullshit worry free but it also helps with existential dread also