I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city.
I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park...
This is the only reason Sup Forums us even remotely interesting anymore, rare moments like this.
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this brings an entirely new meaning to "skeet shooting"
Glad that my strategy can help you climax to enlightenment.
Nice tips
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10/10
Would recommend to anyone looking to learn the exotic art of bird bukkake.
>your roosevelt
include me in screencap pls
How the fuck are you gonna screencap something that long you autistic cuck?
How new are you? Lurk more before you post.
It's pasta u dumb niggers
You could try not being lazy; that may help.
Depends on your stupidity level tbh.
Its copypasta
It's a good
I've been on here done 1995 you fucktard gtfo newfag
>was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads
kek, I realize that this is pasta, but that part right there is a dead give-away.
>Newfags not realizing this isn't original
I expect nothing from you and I'm still disappointed, Sup Forums.
HEHEHE XDDD ADD ME ON SCREENCAP XFFDXXDDD heheheheHeHheeeee
ITT: newfags
can some one screen cap this and include me on the post
Hi m00t
OP Can you suck my big cock please?
PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP
>entire thread talking about the pasta instead of the image
seriously what the fuck guys
>Not calling it birdkkake
>are you even trying?
wAt...
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ITT: newfags
>mfw this thread
Where will you be when the oldfags dissapear?
I personally have never seen this. Sup Forums has no permanence, it is possible to miss out on things multiple times.
was this your doing op? can't imagine that there's too many guys who likes to nut on birds...
>coo sensually
I found your child, OP
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C O P Y P A S T A
Good job OP. It's about time someone took a stand against those fuckers. I hope you got at least one that shit on my car, the bastards!
Seriously though
Lurk more
>ITT newfags
funniest post here