Wake up

>wake up
>look in mirror
>see this

wat do

Fucking glass myself, jaesus

shill ghostbusters

use a $100 bill to masturbate and then feel better.

>go back to bed
>lay my hand on her side of the bed
>feel the cold
>take another sip of scotch
>go back to sleep

slit my own throat ear to ear

OMG ive lost 200 pounds and have hair! I'm so handsome!

...

...

>have a dream like pic related
>wake up
>she's gone
>you'll never see her smile again

;_;

In order to see her in a dream you must have seen here IRL.
She's out there, go find her

First he gave her extra sleeping pills in her evening tea.

Then when she was drowsy he pretended to start sexy time and bound her to the headboard.

He took a plain latex condom, unrolled it, placed it between their mouths and blew.

The condom extended itself down her throat and began to obstruct her windpipe.

To make sure she didn't retch it out, he took a pitcher from below the bed and poured saliva he had collected over a week into the condom.

The condom now a solid blockage in her throat, he now placed his mouth over her nose and began to blow co2 into her lungs.

After about a minute, she realized something was wrong, but the combination of sleeping pills, being tied, and lack of oxygen meant she could barely put up a struggle. Her last vision was her husband with her nose in his mouth, coldly monitoring her pupil dilation.

It was over quick. He sucked on the condom, slurping up the saliva, and then removed it from her throat flushed it down the toilet. The rags tying her hands went back to the towel rack. She looked peacefully asleep, and as far as the police would ever know, she had been when he got back in bed beside her, and turned out the lights....

not if she's dead now

Did she not like Ghostbusters?

>Africa by Toto starts playing

Immedietly take to Twitter and shittalk John Oliver

Think of the times you enjoyed over of the times that wont come

Be thankful I'm still not Anthony Burch.

I would create a new season king of queens.

watch princess bride 17 times in a row
double my zoloft medication

Dead wife > cucked by wife

Check bank statements and investments
Send kids to relatives
Get whores
Bang whores
Take whores to Waffle House for breakfast
Start going to the gym everyday

This desu

did this guy do a voice on archer?

what the fuck

where the fuck is that from and who is this guy

Only if it means I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Start reading my Twitter replies.

>mfw Patton makes fun of 80s soft rock that I like