How to deal with constipation?

How to deal with constipation?
And don't tell me to take "medication", I don't want to be lobotomized.

Sounds like you need to go poo. So just go poo.

Suppository

I wanna see her shit

Take it from an old fag, fiber capsules 2- 4 a day.

Eat a bunch of Indian food

dig around in your ass with your hand

Just convince everyone you know that the new cool in thing is projectile shitting. And then wear a kilt everywhere, and when you think you have to shit, pull up the kilt, aim and do the new cool thing

exercise, water and hot beverages

tell some homo you want to take it up the ass and then shit all over him.

Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work out in the end.
Braceface!
Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work it all out in the end.
Braceface!

>fiber capsules
I said no poison.

Fellow old fag here. Can confirm. 2-4 day. Also, it will lower your cholesterol and keep blood sugar steady (both I was having issues with).

If you're backed up and in pain now, suppository. Yeah, I know, but just lie on your side, slide it up there (needs to go all the way in). It's not that bad. Protip: jerk before you do it (don't finish). Then it's like you're doing something kinky. It's taking a shitty situation and turning it into an adventure! I should be charging for this level advice.

Take a big shit on the floor and make mum clean it up

Post results

sugar free chocolate with maltitol in, trust me

Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work out in the end.
Braceface!
Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work it all out in the end
Braceface!

(you)

Granola and bran.

Watch braceface.

How would eating more food help?

Pharmacies are closed on Sundays.
Any natural methods?

Watch a porno and masturbate to braceface after.

Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work out in the end.
Braceface!
Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage
I'll work it all out in the end.
Braceface!

6 White Castle hamburgers. They're called "sliders" for a reason. White Castle VP-Operations said "it has to do with the body's ability to process them quickly".

It looks shit.

Fucking drumpf!

maltitol is used to replace sugar in diet food, but it has a laxative effect

Go to McDonald's and eat as much as you can and shit on the floor

Drink a coffee, problem solved.

...

Then what's the chocolate for?

Fiber is in almost every food you eat, it's as natural as it gets. The stuff is sold OTC, go to the grocery store.

I don't do drugs.

Sounds like you need a tine out, summer

ALL BUSINESES ARE CLOSED ON SUNDAYS
You'd get 3 years in jail for selling something on sabbath.

Fart on le butt

>coffee
>drug
Are you Mormon or something?

....and if so, why are you on Sup Forums?

Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work out in the end.
Braceface!
Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work it all out in the end.
Braceface!

Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work out in the end.
Braceface!
Something tells me I've been dreaming of someone who was never
Real.
It's seems I've changed a thousand ways I wish I looked the way I feel.
Braceface!
My life is complicated.
Boyfriends.
Don't want to talk about it
Teenage.
I'll work it all out in the end.
Braceface!

>mormon
I'm not a heretic.

Sharon Spitz

Wow this is the fucking most gay shit i ever read.

then your only hope would be a prayer...

Lobely adderal, I must say

Pic unrelated?
Seriously, what's that supposed to be?

My wife has chronic constipation. I give her 3 scoops of Miralax a day. It works. Miralax is very mild, I wouldn't even call it a drug since you don't absorb it. It stays in your intestines and just keeps water in there to keep everything soft. It mixes well in any alcoholic mixed drink or anything warm like warm apple cider or tea.

Drink more water. The colon is the last chance for the body to extract water from your stool. If your body needs water, it's taking it. You end up with dry brick you need to shit out.

Eat lots of cheese. That should do something

Then eat more fiber and foods known to soften stool like bananas.

>And don't tell me to take "medication", I don't want to be lobotomized
You really just deserve to stay constipated tbqhwy familia.

If you are stupid enough to ask Sup Forums for medical advice, you don't need a lobotomy.

yes, unrelated.
used to show that to customers. that small IC would be soldered hidden into that connector, that is mounted on some mainboard - to backdoor it. pretty specific, non-consumer shit.

A full glass every morning works wonders

>every morning
You'd think the medical advice is for right NOW.

What is this all-natural hippie pseudoscience?

How do you know what's really in these pills?

Take a popper from a sex shop you gay faggot your ass hole will just explode and open up for 30 seconds and all your shit will fly out.. fixed

>sex shop
They're banned.

Dried prunes and/or sweet potatoes plus lots if water and a good walk.

Take a poop...

too bad just reach you there with a soup spoon and scoop it out.. either that or use a vacuum it out

PM'd you the fix :-)

>scoop it out
Wouldn't that fracture the intestants?

I drank this stuff once. I literally shot a baseball sized spherical turd out my asshole with so much force that it splashed toilet water up my back. I honestly thought it had torn my sphincter. It was so big that it jammed in the hole when I flushed.

That was followed by 30 minutes of watery diarrhea. Never again.

How do I get my hands on that in Europe?
[spoiler]What you described turns me on[/spoiler]