Can we get a good ol fashioned thread where one Sup Forumsro posts a superpower/ability and others place a constraint...

Can we get a good ol fashioned thread where one Sup Forumsro posts a superpower/ability and others place a constraint on it? I'll start.
>Ability to survive without oxygen

Instead you survive on methane

You have to shit out of your dick.

You shit pure fire.
Ability of super speed

Your skeleton and clothes don't adjust for speed and get damaged accordingly. Show up naked and broken wherever you run

Ability to love unselfishly

Only when loving yourself

Ability to sell my fedora collection and finally leave/b

Your soul stays on /b

Only when your fist is fully inserted into your ass.

Ability to make any person orgasm with a single touch.

you can fly, but only 5 feet above the ground

but they are the same gender as you.

ability to turn invisible whenever I want

...

Lel are you imposing your own constraint? Only 5 ft above the ground and at walking speed

but there's a 30 second time limit and a half an hour cooldown

but they are the opposite sex of what you are attracted to.

ability to read minds

Didn't read rules all the way, also am retarded

Person should be a blood relative.

But when you do they read yours in turn.

Turning invisible puts you to sleep on the spot

can only read minds of children

Ability to show and feel no emotion

I appreciate your honesty.
>ability to be as honest as this user but only half as retarded

you must be a politician

ability to be invisible

But equally virgin.

but you experience pain twice as instemse.

ability to bring dead back to life, sentient and able to communicate

Everything on you becomes invisible as well except for your dick.

But you emit loud involuntary noise

You loose your sight when invisible.

Ability to fly

You crave the closeness and warmth of compassion constantly
>ability to stop aging on myself or anyone I so choose

Not gonna lie I'm a little day drunk but that made me chuckle

everything invisible except the small penis that comes with the superpower

Only works on people you've killed, and they remember you killed them

The ability to turn invisible.

reverses the aging process twice as fast as it normally would, until you are a dead sperm

Every time you stop the aging process your close family ages twice as fast

Ability to eat as much as I want without gaining/losing fat weight

Glad you enjoyed it, I to am day drunk, may your day be filled with many more drunken chuckles.

ability to grab women by the pussy

But another person has to voluntarily age at double the speed.

>the ability to create life-like illusions of myself

But your shit forms as glass.

The ability to teleport.

but ur orange

can only eat expired food

But you can never be president.

Every written documents I touch for even just a split second, doesn't wheter a single sheet or a encyclopedia, I internalize it's contents 100% instantenously and here is no limit on how much I can 'memorize' this way - my brain will never reach max capacity ever.

But the place you teleport to is chosen randomly.

>the ability to breathe fire

only works on your blood relatives and only one at a time; by choosing them to not age, you age at double speed; by choosing yourself, your closest blood relative ages at double speed.

Just poured my last beer sadly
>ability to produce more beer

Ability to stop time for 30 minutes

but u can remember it for 1day

But your IQ is 20.

>the ability to control minds of other people

That's too bad user.

But the beer tastes of anal leakage.

but you can't be within a mile of any sort of print

The time stops for 30 minutes.

You find out that there is a critical flaw where, electromagnetic radiation basically renders you useless.

But you literally breathe fire, to survive

But whatever you make them do you do yourself as well.

you cannot move or think in those 30 minutes

ability to metabolize any liquid into alcohol (and piss it)

it affects you, too.

but only when nobody is there to see it.

Damn, so you can only produce corona?

you get drunk off of one serving
>ability to levitate

ability to have dubs/trips/quads in Sup Forums at will

But you can never turn the ability off.

>make them jerk me off
>jerk myself off at the same time
not too bad

You can only levitate 1 inch above the ground, and nobody can see you do it

You can only levitate with a fully visible erection.

only while masturbating

But nobody will ever compliment them.

>I see nothing special about this post.

you levitate at 2 kilometers altitude, and when levitation stops you fall to the ground violently

ability to shapeshift

Cheeky.

Kek

But you cannot digest the food and must vomit to prevent your stomach from bursting before your next meal.

The power to shapeshift into any animal.

can only shapeshift into a cum rag

Can only shapeshift into literal unmoving shapes of very large size

Only into various animal excrements.

But you can only shapeshift into human forms. And every time you shapeshift you gain 10 kilos.

ability to read other people's minds

but the illusions are dressed as flamboyantly gay clowns.

but you're only able to shape shift into a female animal, that gets raped by an alpha male each day

Top fucking kek

Ability to cum liquid gold.

Any animal you shape-shift into is being attacked by its natural predator, despite your environment

Wow, they are perfect!

Ability to change to any job at will

It is liquid because it reached its melting temperature.

Takes you 3 years to get to the point of climax, any distraction resets the timer

But your a woman.

But only if you suck the dick of the job's boss.

can only cum molten liquid gold, and always have to cum on your own chest

Not the worst. If you ere trying to hide in plain sight it would work well.

Ability to control inanimate objects

But you age one year every time you do.

Immunity to CBR materials.

i wanted to get that painting as a tattoo

everything you control immediately turns to poopoo

Only after inserting them into your anus.

The ability to rewrite/change any living being's genotype.

Ability to be completely unaffected by any disease or illness

ability to marry any person you'd like

But you age an equivalent amount for how long it would take a person reading at a reasonable pace to finish the book.

Except for erectile dysfunction

can only change it to fit the form of a black person

But they're full sjw

Do it. It's cool I regularly switch it to my phone background. Could make a nice big piece with the right artist

But you still carry them and spread them at double the normal rate.