What are some of the most creative ways you guys have masturbated?

What are some of the most creative ways you guys have masturbated?

with my hands

I tried soap once.

It didn't work well.

I tried to put two sponge in a glass, with a condom inbeetween the sponge. So tight the condom didn't stay in place. Smell weird and wasn't really a gret experience overall.

cut a hole in a pillow and fucked it once. was a terrible idea and had cotton all over my dick.

I once used my sisters vagina because i cant find my fleshlight, it has a hole similar to my fleshlights and my cock fit perfectly in there. Best hands free masturbation of my life.

Been there done that. Shit sucks bro. . .

you should have used a condom

i was like 11. didnt know what a condom was.

Couch cushions. Ended up getting rug burn.

...

kek

you sick fuck

Seats of my truck on job site at night

Ran out of lube used beef dripping

Custard

Two waterballoons (12inch)

Wrapping my index finger in cling wrap and inserting it in my anus whilst giving myself a prostate massage whilst jacking myself off with my other hand.

Did it become black after?

...

Super slow mode - 1 stroke per second or even more - was awesome took about 1hr though

Also with a big jug for juice, it has a separate plastic holder embedded so it supported it somehow and didn't collapse when I cut a hole and put a vacuum cleaner hose to it (opening was perfectly tight so it was good with some lube)

>be me
>be 6
>find out about them dank birds and bees
>start jerkin'
>develop an almost autistic sex drive
>jerkin' it three or more times a day.
>use everything from pillows to teddies, shower curtains and fucking soap (only once"
>actually start to ejaculate
> M A S T U R B A T I O N O V E R D R I V E.
>Probably jerkin' it like 7 times a day at this point.
>everything is covered in jizz.
>get gf at 14
>start to do the sex
>pretty much force her to go on the pill
>even more raw dog jizz
>start cheating on gf at 15
>so much jizz
>this continues until 17/18
>gf leaves me coz cheating
>lol whatevs
>continue jizzing in everything
>now 22 in a relationship still trying to blast my brains out through my dick, gf supports it though. Thinks it's hot that I treat other women like objects.

Two helium balloons full of water and a condom last Time I did it got rugburn bad, but still kept doing it since

You got a Pic of such a bottle?

Put ramen noodles in a cup, felt great man. Make sure you let it cool first.

Split up with ex
Still had herdirty thongs and pants
>put them in a pan of simmering water let the water evaporate to half a cup put water into bowl mix with lube put in fridge to set fill a bottle store
Use to masterbaite still smells of her pussy

Wrapped a rubber glove around a toilet paper roll and fucked it.

Can provide pic if wanted.

>Filename
Kek

...

I tried it to, it just doesn't stay in place...

Dubz

Did this once, pulled out with blood all over dick,

Shit was too tight, ripped all the sides to fuck, and yes I had lube, wouldn't recommend,

/thread

Holder side is on the down side of your cock for extra stimulation.
Vacuum hole comes under the paper label (will still collapse if it's tight, so need to be a bit bigger also vacuum power on low when first switching it on).

I did this with 2 pillows

>Cut hole in cotton pillow
>Insert phallus
>Imagine a fleshlight but the inside is carpet
>couldnt cum, didnt feel good enough
>try other, fluffy pillow
>felt like I was fucking a cloud
>smooth
>real smooth
>took a while but came
>inside my pillow
>fuck
>take my dick out, looked like it was covered in cotton cady
>fluff fucking EVERYWHERE
>slowly stuff it into pillow
>Pillow now uncomfortable
>try other pillow
>now uncorfortable
>used the same pillows for like 3 years, flipping them every time I turned to stay on the better side

Sorry it took so long, on phone high af

theoretically i should be able to fuck my own ass
why is it so difficult to penetrate?
i believe it's the angle
tips?
pic very related

try removing the cardboard from two toilet paper rolls, and pull as much toilet paper out as necessary, then do the same glove thing

I'm not alone ! feel better man...

by sticking my dick inside pic related

Try to find something else that can fit, it's hard to reach.

egg beater in anal cavity equal good feel

I bought a toilet plunger that fits.

I once fucked three packing plastic airpillows
shit was cash

burns while pissing for days after. Fucked up with this when I was a young teen

No problem

no like my asshole is basically where my middle finger is but behind my cock
i can fit things way bigger than my cock in my ass but cant put my dick in
i don't understand :/
i don't believe it'll be the most amazing feeling once i do it, it just pisses me off that i should be able to but cant get my dick in

then your dick molts and regrows

>helium water balloons
why would you make such a blatant lie

You did it wrong. I laid on my back, soaped up my legs, and pushed my penor in between my legs. Feels good mayn. Still burns tho

I know man, but a dick is just to hard to bend.. :(

>First start touching my donger at a young age
>Dont even know what to do with it, shit just feels good
>Start rolling it between my hands like a native trying to make a fire with a stick
>Strike a spark
>My loins are on fire
>Eventually bust a nut
>Pure ecstasy
>Did it that way for a long time

exactly how i started too

i feel like it could just be the angle and the hair in the area causes too much friction along with the muscles of my anus rejecting an object entering me
just a possibility
might shave and see how i go

Best of luck

What's masturbation?

idk

Fucking ecstasy

Used a candle after shaping it like a cock with a condom over the top..bliss.

Would love my wife to fuck my ass with a small strap on and then take turns where i fuck her ass. Think she be disgusted if i suggest it though.

more pics or webms boi

Never seen it in my life

I saw a thread on a guy that could fuck his own ass. First off if you want to fuck your own ass you probably need to get used to fucking your ass with a dildo or something, otherwise you're just never going to get it in there. If you're serious about fucking your ass then shave it, the hair is just getting in the way. As for what that guy said in his thread, he said that he would get semi hard and then kind of put his half chubb dick in his ass and then get fully hard from there. He said it was the best orgasm of his life.

>Put a banana in the microwave
>Cut the tip
>Use the banana as a fleshlight

works good you should try

Buy a new sink plunger, put it on the wall and shove you ass over it. make sure it's a plasic plunger and that you put some lube/soap on there. that how I do it anyways.

Completely different user here
Same issue here. Not sure why I want to try it, or what to expect, but it pisses me off that I should be able to get it.

I think shaving sounds like a great idea, smooth things up so it might suddenly slip in. Pls post results if you're trying it now.

>Bought bigass teddy bear
>Cut hole

yeah as ive said, i am able to put things much bigger than my cock in my ass and i do own two massive dildos haha
yeah when i pull it downand push, it has blood rush to my cock and keep a slight hard-ness that should be able to penetrate but its stupidly hard
ill get rid of the hair tomorrow

Did you sow in some kind of diy fleshlight, or just a fuck the hole?

Like this...

Could you share you results tomorrow?

this some times. never used comdom bcoz shit's expensive

>be mw years ago in college...
>roommate and i are highschool buddies, have third bedroom in our apt...
>rent third bedroom out to "friend of friend"
>dudes a bit weird but whatev...
>keeps a hunk of liver in fridge...
>one day we ask "whats with the liver?"
>calmly explains;
>"you see, i microwave the liver for a few seconds to get it warm"
>"then i fold it over, jam it between my box spring and mattress, and fuck it... feels fantastic man..."
>roommate and i just stare...

pool or hot tub jet

How often did he need to buy a new liver? They don't have the best shelf life

fake and gay

we didnt really inquire... the rest of that semester was... awkward... i would imagine fairly frequently...

I would image that after a few livers a fleshlight would be cheaper and less awkward.

smol dicc

Self tanning lotion. Worked out well and went to sleep. Woke up in the morning, tried to take a piss but nothing came out at first. Then the burnt skin sealed breaks and shoots piss in 8 different directions. Also my dick was burnt and peeling all over

Peel a banana (just enough to get the banana out). Microwave for a few seconds, proceed to fuck it. Feels good.

microwaveing a banan peel
best sex of my life

In front of my aunt while she fingered her pussy.

I've seen people fuck couch cushions, but when I tried it it just was awkward and didn't feel amazing or any thing, it just didn't do it for me.

this was 20 years ago - i dont know if they even had fleshlights back then, but this dude was a trip in many other ways... so who knows... he even had a weird name that i wont repeat here because its too easy to dox... (hell i wouldnt be surprised if he lurks the chans...)

crushed up caffeine pills and put it in my fleshlight with lube. It tingles and the calcium that's in the pills gives a nice textures. Didn't do it again because I assume the calcium would tear up the toy. I came so hard though

There's something called proned masturbation where you hump a pillow or something similar that's at a larger height than what you're laying on. A lot of people like it but it can harm your genitals from the weight distribution

Hehe I made that post right before yours. Banana fuckers unite !

Well I didn't lie on my stomach but on my knees trusting the couch...

Do you have a source for more info?

Took the blades out of a blender and stuck my fleshlight in it

I'm hoping to do the same thing this week. She wants me to show her first. I'm gonna use that as leverage to make her show me as well.

coke and pills and this ditzy slut's face

i fucked mny gf

I took a huge creamy yet firm shit, caught it in my hands, smeared dick up and jerked off with my shit as lube, ended up sucking shitty fingers before the most awesome cum of my life. also used to take spoonful sized blobs of shit and stick it over the assholes of girls in porno mags, I would fan my nipples with the bottom of the magazine and lick the poo off the picture pretending the girl was shitting in my mouth, fucking best jerk offs ever

holy shit this piece of meat looks like it was cut by a monkey

I fucked many chairs and couches, just take a big plastic baggie full of lube and put it between the cushion and the padded frame and then fuck that chair like it is your job, cum buckets

I used to wrap a slice of pizza around my cock and fuck the living shit out of it

When I was younger I used to fold a rubber glove in half. Then put it against my dick and then get a barbie and rub it against the outside of the glove.

Oh god i dont even know why but.

I was a horny fucking tard, running around fapping and tring to fuck everything soft in my room for like an hour. Needed to take a shit. Reached down, pulled the shit from my ass, shoved my dick into it and squeezed. Used it to fap. Came then sobered up. So much god damn regret.

haven't mastrubated for 4 days . I didnt like lesbian sex before but now anything that has a hole turns me on .
What to do?

In the back seat of the car?