Learn an instrument

What's the best way to learn to play the piano? Tips for other instruments are welcome too.

press down on the keys

I thought you just slap your dick on them

Stay away from the black keys

first, learn what note is what. Nothing else will come if you don't have a solid knowledge of what note is what. Then, learn the major and minor scales. This is what everything pretty much fits into. From there, I would just start learning basic chords in your left hand and basic melodies in your right. Idk how much of an ear you have, but its really important to be able to understand like where a melody is likely to go, or what direction a song is moving, it just helps your fingers hit the notes best. Idk any more than that to tell you, just depends what works. Sheet music helps a lot of people, but I've never been able to use it, so just do what works for you.

Get a teacher. Fuck scales (not completely obviously), play Bach instead. Practice. Enjoy.

Get a teacher and fuck her on the piano

>>Idk how much of an ear you have, but its really important to be able to understand like where a melody is likely to go

It's hard to teach yourself how to play if you can't hear that. Reading notes is not that hard but playing by myself is almost impossible for me

>Fuck scales (not completely obviously), play Bach instead.
Just what the hell do you think Bach is? Bach is probably the biggest scale slut of them all behind Brahms

none of you dude sex lmao teenboys are funny, go back to tell these retarded jokes to 13 year olds in the school