What's on your mind, Sup Forums? Vent here

What's on your mind, Sup Forums? Vent here.

I cant find the mayonnaise

I'm stuck home for the next >2 weeks while my bros are having a fuckton of fun. This would've been the best part of the year for me but instead i'm lying in the bed, and i'm even out of vidya to play.
Can't go to work, so i'm gonna be poor as fuck this month, Can't go to school either.

I have a japanese chick coming to stay with me for a week. Flying over next thursday. It's weird and exciting. I'm a nervous wreck though.

Why are you stuck at home?

Nervous? Have you ever met her before?

I am schizophrenic and it's upsetting that I can't do things like have a license, or experience having a car. My mother came to visit yesterday and I told her more about my condition (she was aware of my condition, but I never told her why I never was able to drive. Or ever wanted a license.)

Since I'm on disability (SSI), if I attempt to get a job I actually lose $1 per $2 I make. Ontop of that I would need to start paying child support which sucks literally any profit I make. I would also lose food stamps in the process.

If I work a full time job (somehow) I would lose food stamps, could be terminated from having SSI if I make too much/work for too long. And have to pay child support.

After doing some math, I have discovered I would only make $80 profit after a month of work.

I am also stuck in a town I don't like, I have literally no real friends (since my ex was literally my only friend which didnt bother me at all).

I'm screwed no matter what path I choose. And love/getting laid seems completely out of the question.

We have been talking for almost a year. Skype. Letters. One day she told me that her passport is expiring soon and wanted to come visit. I said sure. She bought the ticket.

First time in person.

I think I'm gonna call into work. I'm sick of working every Friday and Saturday every single week. Plus it's a super boring 10+ hour shift and I'd have to dress up in a tie and shit.

That is a really unfortunate situation and I'm sorry. I hope something works out for you quickly. Is there any type of financial help for school or even work because of your disability? Even with child support I would think there would be something.

Being nervous is natural. She's nervous too. Don't get shit faced drunk, but maybe break the ice the first night by grabbing dinner and a drink. Don't forget to think about the great things that can come out of this situation, not only the bad.

That sucks. I used to work a job like that for many years and I understand your problem. You deserve the night off. Maybe give a soft "I may be not feeling well tomorrow morning either. but i'll let you know."

I'm stuck in my little shithole town with none of my old friends around anymore
New friends I made live to far for me to visit them as often as I'd like to + insufficient funds

Can't do anything until september to start college and move out. Moving out now costs too much and I'd just be doing it for the sake of moving out, nothing to gain there, eventually I'd have to move back anyway.

Try to save up cash for college but parents keep making excuses to take money off of me making college seem impossible.

I can only get around to doing something with my life once a year because the preparations are taking forever (saving up cash, finding what I really want to do etc) and if some shit comes up it can ruin my entire year. Been struggling to find shit to do with my life for the last 3-4 years or so, its annoying as fuck and I feel like I'm wasting my life away, nothing ever works out and in theory everything is so simple, its just the timing of things that ruins everything...

This and the fact I feel like I'm ready to meet some girls and eventually get a gf (been in a shit state the last couple of years)...but I live in a dead town and once again, can't meet anyone until september...

Thought I would be happier with a gf, she's alright I mean, but I was almost happier just jerking off and focusing on work. I like hanging with her, but I don't really see it going anywhere.

You said it yourself -- "In theory, everything is so simple" and regardless of your religious stance, Some words I can't help but call truth would be "Man plans, God laughs." Rarely anything works out the way they're planned as far as a life basis and life is so volatile and chaotic it's hard to.

What are you studying in college? You're going to meet a lot of new friends in college so look forward to that. If you're going to college for something you feel will be a viable and well paying job, why not take out some student loans with a part time job to pay for student housing so you can enjoy your time on your own.

You'll meet plenty of girls in college.

September isn't too far, Just do what you can now to make the best of your future.

>That is a really unfortunate situation and I'm sorry. I hope something works out for you quickly. Is there any type of financial help for school or even work because of your disability? Even with child support I would think there would be something.

I am nearly 32 years old. I went to not only community college but also a private college 12 years ago. I am in tremendous amount of debt for doing so. But back then my condition was stable. I not only traveled around the country on my own but I even went to Japan by myself for two weeks not knowing the language or how to get to anything.

It has been close to 16 years since I was suppose to be able to get a driver's license. I have missed out on a lot of things because of it but now that I'm past my 30's it's really taking it's toll on me. Especially when trying to meet people.

Why is that? You're not married. If you are unhappy then there is no point in continuing it. You're helping not only yourself but also her if you cut it off if you're certain you're unhappy.

That really sucks and that is a hard place to be in. Do you live in a city where at least you can go out and socialize a little even within walking distance?

I'm currently teaching myself some programming to build a portfolio and maybe get a job lead. Maybe try to do that if you're interested?

Yeah, I think I'm gonna play it out for a bit. I wasn't really getting anything out of the occasional hookup, and after a long dry spell, I got pretty depressed, so it's nice to have some attention, just feel bad because I think I might be fucking her over. She knows I'm leaving town after school, so I hope she doesn't get too attached. Honestly, I hope I make enough money in the future to just be able to get decent prostitutes once or twice a month. I don't think relationships are my thing.

>That really sucks and that is a hard place to be in. Do you live in a city where at least you can go out and socialize a little even within walking distance?

I don't think you understand how schizophrenia works. Let me put it into perspective for you: When I was in college I was able to go to Japan by myself. These days I'm terrified to even take the public bus to go grocery shopping so I'm stuck eating whatever the corner store has.

>I'm currently teaching myself some programming to build a portfolio and maybe get a job lead. Maybe try to do that if you're interested?

I was taking game design courses and programming was part of the criteria. I could not learn a single thing.

Do whatever you feel is best for you. People change over time, so don't feel compelled to keep up with a lifestyle if you're no longer happy with it.

Healthcare/Social Care, I don't really want to do it but its the only thing that can provide a stable job at the end. This and the fact I tried other things and they didn't work out as well as I just can't do certain things so I have to settle for whatever is out there. I just don't want to struggle finding a job and jobs are out there, just need the qualifications so thats why I want to go to college. I also need some sense of purpose, right now I'm pretty much alone 24/7 waiting for things to start happening.

I just bought a lot of shit for music producing to occupy myself during the time where I've fuck all to do. I know september isn't too far away but I don't like waiting whole year just to start something and not even knowing if it'll work out or not.

Started college last year, couldn't afford to stay because parents backed out of funding me for some reason so I ended up withdrawing from my course. Waited a whole year to do that. Before that I was in college but had to withdraw due to medical problems. Before that I applied for a course and ended up not getting it so I had to take up another course that will help me get there, didn't get there eventually so had to settle for next best thing which was bullshit to begin with, and still had to drop out due to the medical problems I mentioned.

Waiting is killing me, every time I get used to being outside and in front of people I'm forced back into my room to be alone and have to wait, then I forget what it was like being out in front of people so my anxiety keeps coming and going, on and off. Right now I'm used to being alone and hate the thought of having to deal with people, I know it takes a bit of getting used to but its months away for me to even do that so every day is a waiting day for me. Its like ordering food and waiting for it to show up, except instead of 30 mins I've to wait 6 months

Anything you can do to make money on the side? You can buy shit on ebay/garage sales, then sell it on 24hr auction groups etc to make some cash. If you can paint, you can sell art. There's more than one way to earn cash, you don't need to just work a shitty job.

> take everything I say with a grain of salt, perpetually broke.

I have a huge project due Wednesday I have been procrastinating starting for almost a month. I'm gonna need to pull a couple of all nighters to finish it but I don't even feel like starting. Second semester demotivation strikes again.

I'm stuck in a small cabin at a research center for the next 4 weeks.
My girlfriend is at home pregnant a long way from here. I miss her a lot.
I'm lonely, only entertainment I have is my phone. It's -22 outside, snowing like crazy.
I love my job but these periods can be hard.
Tomorrow is the weekly supply drop, finally get a drink. Ordered a few bottles of whisky.
>Pic related, "home"..

What's the assignment?

For what course? What is your project about? If you were to work an hour or two even today, how much progress would you be able to make?

My media tutor never shuts up

>Anything you can do to make money on the side?

It would have to be under the table. Anything past $65 is excused from social security...but anything past that and it starts to deduct from my SSI and my food stamps.

>You can buy shit on ebay/garage sales, then sell it on 24hr auction groups etc to make some cash

I do not have a license, or a car, too terrified to take the bus to even grocery shop let alone to the post office which would take me hours to do so because of the bus system and would have to walk the rest of the way there with whatever thing im trying to ship.

>If you can paint, you can sell art

I haven't painted since I was a child.

>There's more than one way to earn cash, you don't need to just work a shitty job.

I'm sure there is if I had any actual talent, a way to get around and not having schizophrenia. But it is what it is.

who's the babe in op's pic?

take speed, a little line of that shit will keep you going for a couple hours and you'll be up for doing all kinds of work. You won't sleep anyway because the comedown is dreadful but at least you can use that to your advantage and finish off whatever you gotta do.

How's your dick sucking game?

What sort of research? I'm sorry about your situation. Congratulations on the baby.

Good luck with your music. Just try your best in school. I wish I could off you help, but unfortunately I chose something extremely different.

I'm sorry. I wish you the best.

I'm a complete fuck up who's dependent on my family, and I honestly have mo right to even be alive right now, only haven't killed myself because I've fucked up all my previous attempts, I'm too squeamish for anything easy, worried I'd fuck up and end up in the hospital again, and getting a gun is more effort than it's worth as I'm actually afforded a pretty comfortable lifestyle with 0 responsibilities.
I'm objectively a shitty human being.

Janet Mason

Life is finally looking okay for me. I just have to sort out a few more things, but it'll all be okay.

I want to see a therapist but my shitty ass fucking health insurance (HSA) basically covers nothing until a 5k deductible. Why do I even have this shit. Finding out its completely fucking worthless and im still paying for it is fucking infuriating. The company puts like 600/year into it, fucking horrible.

Why do you think you're a shitty person?

A lot of people, including myself and my family, are dealing with shit insurance. I'm sorry. Good luck in your therapy.

That's great. I'm happy for you and wish you the best.

Because I refuse to make life easier on anyone, insist on keeping myself this way, and won't even kill myself just to get it over with so my family could eventually move on.

I have a chipped front tooth so I doubt that'd be a good experience for the customer.

Haven't been sexually active since July, and recently these random clear bumps appear on my dick shaft. Scared as fuck that they might be HPV warts. What do?

I never really cared until now. I always took it for granted if this was something I wanted I could get it. Finding out that isn't true makes me want to just straight up cancel the account and bomb their fucking offices. Or get a new job with a real health insurance plan. Cheers

Your family would never move on. It's always a shadow and you're always missing a piece no matter how many laughs or smiles you put on since a loved one has killed him or herself. Trust me.

Why do you insist on keeping yourself that way?

>What sort of research? I'm sorry about your situation. Congratulations on the baby.
Thanks. We are conducting a study on bacterial and micro lifeforms found in the ground under glaciers. Also drilling core samples and taking up samples from over 200 meters depth in the arctic ground to measure the effect of natural gases being released from the now melted ground where glaciers used to be.

Obviously get it checked out.

Bullshit insurance should be a crime.

Just go to a free clinic and have someone look at it, duh.

I just got an awesome new job 86k.

That's pretty cool. I'm sorry about the long term, but at least you're doing something that is worthwhile. I'm a recent Chemical engineering graduate still looking for a job (Which is why I made this thread, That's what's on my mind) so hopefully one day I'll be able to do research or something.

I'm wasting some of the best years of my life trying to make someone else happy

Congratulations! What are you doing?

>vent.
Okay. Basically moved into a new place, old landlord wants the rent regardless. Using other people to remind me to pay up. All i'm going to do is pay it in to stages. Just need to wake up early and post it in the mail box. I'm being totally emotional dealing with this because my old land lord thrived on drama. But hopefully this will be last I ever have to do with him. The new place is much cheaper and better. But so far just dreading the drama that could be coming. Everyone I have told about the move I have given them an alternative address. So locating me isn't the problem. The problem is that with all the shit I have suffered it is hard not to become emotional thrown back in. But I'm getting my space and keeping my cool. Welcome Home.

test

We need some sort of bootcamp we can send people like you. I was pretty much the same, all I did in high school was smoke weed and drink. I shirked any responsibility I had, and I learned no valuable skills or work ethic. My parents can take some of the blame, they were pretty neglectful, but once you get into adulthood, it's your problem, and something you have to deal with. It just clicked for me that if I didn't start putting in effort, eating right, exercising, treating people properly, that I was setting myself up for a bad life without any friends/money/quality puss. You probably know the moves you need to make, but lack the motivation and ambition. Nothing will jump start it though, unless you join the army or go to prison or something, where you will be forced to adjust, it's up to you to change. Also, you sound depressed AF, maybe get some antidepressants or something.

>I'm being totally emotional
Sorry that is meant to say I'm not going to BE EMOTIONAL.

I just really need a break from debt and depression.
They're both playing off each other and I can't get my head above water.
Jobless, I'm bankrupt (not that I've ever had much anyhow), my relationship with my fiancé is more than stress at this point, my friend died last week and we couldn't even raise the money to cremate him.
Life just generally blows right now.

*pic not related*

Eric?

Congratulations on your new place. I'm sorry about your landlord. Do you still owe him money or something that you didn't pay when you used to live at your previous place?

It's up to you to change that. Go for a walk.

post pics

Network engineer.

what do you think is the likelyhood frozen methane deposits would be released causing an out of control climate change? (i suspect your answer would be optimistic given you're childs future)

>We need some sort of bootcamp we can send people like you.
There is one already with a no death no win guarantee.

That's great. I recently graduated with a chemical engineering degree and while looking for a job i'm teaching myself Java.

Congratulations and good luck on your new career!

Once you find a job, you'll feel much better. I'm going through a rut right now myself and I know that once I get one, I'll be doing well. Best of luck and sorry for your loss.

I did it. I love this feeling. It sucks though because I work at a pool hall and I'd really love to go shoot some pool there. We just got new $5,000 diamond 9-foot tables too.

> I'm bankrupt (not that I've ever had much anyhow), my relationship with my fiancé is more than stress at this point
Don't let it get the better of you. But if it does take a break from your relationship to recover financially

Live in a smallish town. I work as a government contractor. Was making about 46k a year. New company wins the bid and offers me about 35k. Not many jobs available around here so I'm sure I'll have to accept by the deadline. No sure how I'll survive.

That's cool. I got a phd in molecular epidemiology and bacterial pathogens.
That's why I'm here at all. The risk of finding active and potentially life threatening bacteria and or other lifeforms that could harm humanity is quite high actually.
I'm here with three others to overlook all samples before anyone else touches them.

I'm the only one at the office today and all i've done is rub my dick and look at porn the majority of the day.

Gonna be one hell of a cum shot later on.

Meh. Still better than what it is now. Even so, at the very least, I'd cease being a direct financial burden.

I'm holding the elevator brake, because there's no guarantee that I'll get out in time if I try to climb out, and I expect to just crash at the bottom.

That, and I've convinced myself to just accept this as my life after my period of forced hospital stay, and to be honest, its literally the only thing in my life I've been consistently good at, as shitty a thought as THAT is.

I've literally been depressed since I can remember existing, and I don't know who I am if not depressed. So much time, so much of my identity is tied to it. It's basically all I have that's my own, as backwards thinking as it is.

Because I either fail naturally, sabotage myself, or come up with reasons it wasn't a success. I'm so phobic of failure that I just stopped trying.

I'm sure I could find more reasons, but the long and short is they all tie into the depression in some form or another.

Smoke a joint and listen to some sad music. That sucks dude.

Fuck it. Enjoy your night off. Invite some friends over and get a drink?

Found out I have Vitiligo a month ago. My skin's turning white in patches. I tell myself it's just a cosmetic condition, at least I'm not in pain, it could be worse... but it's not working. I'm depressed, anxious all the time waiting for my patches to get bigger. What's worse is that I have an exam coming up for a masters program, so I can't really take time off to deal with it all.
You know these weird diseases could happen to anyone, but you never really believe it'll be you.
Be grateful of your health anons, you may lose it sooner than you expect.

After YEARS of fruitless search I think I've found something worth pursuing, but I don't really know how to go about it. I have no degree and I have no disposition for any kind of job. I do work now and then though. I guess you could call me a severely depressed person. All around I'm very confused and not sure how the hell to get out of this.

Nothing much. I have fucked up my previous relationships, the final exams in the school (I'm 18 btw) start in two weeks and I don't know what to do with my life. Maybe the right decision would be to go to /r9k/.

Have a good gf, treats me awesome, caring, ect. But just not that physically attracted to her. I stay with her anyway, because personality wise, shes 0 drama and amazing.

Basically one the day I moved the Landlord came out of his room. No thank or good luck. Just straight up. I want the rent tomorrow actually I expect the rent. Right in the middle of me moving out my stuff. So in all honesty just i'm just going to pay the final £140 in two stages of £70. Because I'm broke right now after I pay up the first £70. So it is out of my control but at the very least it will get done. Just feel emotionless about it. And that's the best way to feel about these situations

well what do you want to pursue?

Well you obviously need therapy and to talk to someone if your depression is effecting your life like that. Honestly, having a clear head makes life worth living, and I think you owe it to yourself and your family to seek help.

The truth is that we don't know.
The sudden release of methane hydrate deposits into the atmosphere could happen if the global temperature keeps rising but at the same time it's the smallest of our worries right now. Nothing you should worry about.

A teacher of mine is a milf, and is definitely flirting with me. Making a lot of eye contact, touching me, joking around with me, etc. She doesn't do this with the others.

I really want to fuck her brains out. She mentioned she might go to one of the bars where I'm a regular. Fuck.

I'm really sorry about your condition. Is there any treatment you can do to prevent it from spreading? Good luck on your exams.

What are you going to pursue?

You're 18. You're supposed to fuck up relationships and have no idea what you're doing with your life. I used to hate hearing that when i was 18. Good luck on your exams.

Unphysically attractive in what way?

That is the best way to feel about it. Just pay the man and get him the fuck out of your life. Enjoy your new place!

How is it that shaggy can keep up with Scooby-Doo when theyre both running from a ghost since a great dane's top land speed is 30mph this would mean that shaggy is running even faster than the world's fastest man Usain bolt who's world record stands at 27.7mph meaning that shaggy at some point must've had cybernetic enhancements on his legs in which case it confirms my theory that cyborgs like dogs

Are you of age? Will I be reading about this? Go bang her, dude. What do you have to lose?

This is going to sound stupid AF but what the hell. I've always written poems and lyrics on my own, now I'm doing it with a friend who sings and has his own backing band. It's been fun so far, even though, now and then, I still worry I might not be up to the task. I keep wondering whether I'll ever be able to parlay this into something that brings me a little money other than personal satisfaction. I know it might sound weird but it gets very annoying at times.

>A teacher of mine is a milf
Dude all I can say is if she is single. And willing. Then fine, hell maybe even use it to bump your grade up. But if she is married then you will not be the first and never the last.

Obviously Shaggy and Scooby are somehow connected with genetic or organic engineering and the gang is using the information they gave to hunt down ghosts (which are probably just old fellow organic/genetic engineering experiments).

That doesn't sound stupid at all. Do whatever makes you feel happy.

Thanks and yeah just 2 stages of £70 and it will be done. First payment drop is Sunday. Next one should be the 14th. But at least it is getting done like I said. New place is fucking awesome. All bills included.

I just found out that no matter how well I do on the final exam i'm going to fail Statistics. Feels bad man.

Too much anti moral stuff and I don't mean gore threads or degenerate Loli shit but like so mean to one and another I understand going hard on someone if they went full retard but b says too many edgy mean stuff

I've been here for 8 years

I go to a therapist biweekly. I've tried medication.
I have a clear head so far as I can actually objectively understand the behaviors and the thought processes that lead to them. I still do them, because humans are creatures of habit, and I've been doing this for at LEAST a decade now. If I wanted, I'd have all the support I could ask for. I just don't. I'd rather be dead than try. The mediocre job that I'm not even guaranteed isn't worth the amount of effort it'd take to climb out of this pit. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't bright enough to merit the journey, so I'm just sitting down and waiting for a train.

I want to fuck women right now but it could be at least six months before I look fuckable.

16 year old depressed slob. Perform like shit in school. Don't have any friends except for this one chick that helped me during a mental breakdown. I've literally made my family sick with my uselessness. I go to sleep every night wishing for death. I don't have any ambitions in life. I've never had a girlfriend and probably never will. Even though I always try to help everyone I can in anyway possible I don't know what I did to deserve this. I would an hero but I'm too much of a pussy to do it. I spent most of my days browsing Sup Forums and listening to metal. I'm tired and I just want to die. Pic related

>Is there any treatment you can do to prevent it from spreading?
There are creams and phototherapy, but they don't work for everyone, and results are lackluster and take months before they're noticeable. You also still develop new patches.
And thanks.

If you can see a doc about the depression, if you have no other avenues for a job or anything, pursue the music, It may or may not lead to bigger things, but you won't know if you don't try. If you fail, try something else.

i see. then what does keep you awake at night? (as it relates to legitimate catastrophic scientific scenerios)

I'm sick of the world.

Everyone is stupid, most problems in the world are down to stupidity or greed.

You're all stupid, im kinda stupid too.

Everything is just fucking stupid, yet its all we got with the other option being death.

just isn't the same man. Social media has furthered corrupted it. To the point I can say of no return. 5 year fag here.

Yeah I want to, and I definitely will be touching her if I see her outside of classes. She is married and has kids, but idgaf. Just want to smash. I'm 22 and the younger women just aren't so interesting to me.

Yes 22 and she is 40 or smth. I will definitely make greentext story if I smash.

Same here cept im 18 and my friends think i should do myself by cops....

tbh those titties are all I can think about right now

/soc/ is your own Savior man. And don't say your actually fucking age faggot.

Yea. I've been here before.
I was managing a hotel restaurant for about 5 years then left to work for a chef friend that opened a wine bar.
He totally fucked me over.
Bought a new car (got repossessed a few days ago) and accrued a fuckton of debt trying to help the business.

Lesson learned: Don't work for friends.
I should of known better, I never tried to be friends with my employees.

I don't think I want to manage anymore. I just want to get a mindless job thatbpays the bills so I can focus on me and my family more.

But. I'm afraid I'll never really be that good husband, son, father, etc.

I tend to suck at life.

I wish I could afford therapy even though I trust it as much as I do astrology or hypnotherapy.

Again, pic not related.