Cant sleep, lets talk about bad choices we have made

cant sleep, lets talk about bad choices we have made.

>be me
>married with children
>wish i wasnt
>miss having fun, talking to girls, etc.

I can go on if anyone is out there.

Go on

So i dont want to greentext just because its on the second page of my symbols on my phone keyboard but ok.


So i was of drinking age, just getting into the swing of the late nite bar life and i end up meeting this girl from love@aol. she was smoking hot, and at the time that was my priority so i met up with her and we fucked, i fucked her good and anyway so she was crazy over me and would sleep outside my bedroom without me even knowing (i didnt find that out until much later). and so we date for a few weeks and then guess what shes pregnant.

so she tells me that she just cant abort, turns out shes already done that twice before and nows the time for her to keep it.

so ok i guess its time to start a family, get married. im not going to abandon my boy like my father did to me.

> be me
> with girlfriend wondering where to eat
>she wants me to go downtown( I'm lazy and live uptown )
> I stupidly grab my Magnum C02 BB gun to make suicide joke
>because I thought I was funny
>put in mouth
>pull trigger in joking fashion (has a hairline trigger
>pull too hard
>fire through the top of my mouth through my nasal cavity
>blood comes pouring out my nose and mouth
>girlfriend watched the whole thing happen and is freaking out
>I'm just looking in the mirror to see the damage

Mfw I didn't have to go downtown

that was like 15 years ago. now we have a second kid and on paper the shit is legit. my job takes very good care of us, we have a nice ass house and provide everythifng for my family from medical insurance to any sports they want to try or any music they want to play, etc. we have the paperwork that shows that we should be a perfectly happy family.

but it turns out im fucking miserable. i dont even want to fuck my wife because of reasons and now im up all nite because i started partying with some neighbors.

she has no idea, but i dont really care. obviously i dont WANT her to find out how i feel because thats a fuckton of drama id rather not deal with.

that almost sounds like something i could get into. unfortunately i dont see me shooting myself in my mouth with a bb gun as a way to get out

Bb head here

Yeah I have access to actual guns but obviously I made the completely wrong choice haha it only goes 425 f/ps

so i feel this deep dark feel about needing to be there for my kids no matter what, because i lived a childhood without my dad giving a shit about me so it seems like i cant just do that to them.

but sometimes i feel like doing that would be the better choice, because we fight in front of them. its never been physical but verbally very abusive.

so did u get any permanent damage?

r u still with same gf?

THIS IS BAT COUNTRY

yes, you definitely do not want to stay where i live.

BB head again
Almost got paralyzed and or retarded but under some fraction of luck absolutely nothing happened so far and yeah we're still together

i feel like i am living the bill burr skit where he talks about risk and fear or whatever. i basically have a life i dont want but have to fill the responsibility so here i am.

so you eventually had to go downtown then?

Lol nope!

Same here.
Got two kids (4 and 1) a million dollar house, and don't want to leave them because my own dad left me.
But I'm depressed all the time. No joy in my life. No fun. Almost no sex.

Oh boo fucking hoo. Why don't you man the fuck up and take your wife out for a nice dinner and raise your child to be a good person instead of coming here and bitching like an over privileged middle class white teen. Fuck people like you piss me off

then at least it worked haha i just feel like i am so stuck even though i am the one that is employed. she has been home mom for our whole marriage, it has just been the best decision for us for mostly financial reasons but now its like she could literally take everything if she left but she has everything taken care of so she has no reason to leave. she is very large now and bitchy and bossy and very abusive both physically and verbally and it fuckin sucks. i mean dont get me wrong im not some little emo boy, and i was raised to never hit a girl, so it has really put me into a cuck position and it pisses me off.

Shit man, why don't you collect proof of her behaviour. And use that against her in a break up

you Dumb Fuck. . . DO NOT GET A BIRTH CERTIFICATE FOR YOUR KID. and DO NOT registere that kid with a ss#. . . . oh. if you ignore this and do. once your child's name is "in print" like a local newspaper, that is a "notice" telling the world that a new name "corporation" has been created. . as soon as your kid name is in the news paper, you have a 7-14DAY time period to "claim" that name, otherwise it WILL be considered "Lost Property" ... and once that happens the governments (gov=centeal bank), the government can then Legally take possession of that "Lost Property" ... remember. . .***7-14 days*** (depending on your local region)

Dude.

This the nature of the male of our species. We are absolutely not programmed to be with, and to remain monogamous with one woman. That is a female construct. It is what they want, not what we want. We are programmed to pound pussy and to move on to the next and do it again.
t. married, but feel like a wild animal trapped in a cage

yeah my house isnt quite that nice only about 300k but in the area we live in we are still considered to be "the good side of town" but even that is a joke because i can go to the bad side and make my connects to party and i feel just as safe with those guys as i do in my own neighborhood.

Found the split-ass. Tits or gtfo.

Roll

Roll me

This *is* the nature

divorce in CA always favors the woman, thats just the current climate and not much i can really do. she is smart enough to fake it when it matters (like in front of police) and anyway id still have to deal with her to see my boys until they are adults

if you need clarification.

"Lost property"= NAME (in full caps)
NAME (in full caps)= slave to "their" corporate . jurisdictions

>married with children
>wish i wasnt
JEW, ppl with out kids are lonely and more miserable.

well thats a very oddly specific piece of advice, but unfortunately you are over a decade too late.

and i am ok with my kids being mine, this is the only thing i am living for at this point as my motivation is to take care of them and get them to be self sufficient.

find peace in your kids, being a parent is nothing but thankless, tough work. You enstill wonder, awe, and courage into your children. Be proud of that at least. Much love, a fellow Sup Forumsrother

Tell the fatcow to run some laps and take care of her appearance.

>You are doing it wrong.

idk i think it is a different kind of lonely. i want to know people that i can relate to. i feel like my fam doesnt even want me around other than to pay the bills.

Then dont fight in fornt of the kids you moron.

yeah if it were only that easy.

OP again, so what do u do to unwind?

>worked shitty jobs from age 16 20 just managing to afford food
>go back to college to train as electrician
>get a decent job paying 30k
>promise myself I'll never let myself get poor again
>spent the last 3 years partying with friends, taking drugs, and wasting my money on other shit
>wish I stayed a boring cunt and bought a house instead

You wherent put in a cuck posistion, you are a cuck.
Do you think the misses likes you being a faggot. no this is why she got fat.

>this thread is filled with losers with kids /b is funny today

>Be me texting a qtp13
>2 weeks in start developing feelings for eachother
>the other day i couldn't start a convo
>ended up sending her the hickey pasta
>"last night my gf got hit by a paintball gun on the way home"
>sent pic of a girl with hickies
>she replies with "yikes wtf smh"
>havent talked to her since
How my autism cock blocked me

OP again,
idk if you will see this million dollar guy but thanks for letting me know im not going alone.

im gonna go, thanks yall for listening.

dude. . your not listening. . . . your kids ain't "yours" ... you! you! are not "free". look at your drivers licences and " capitus diminuto maxima"

your old enough to remember George Carlin. . . just because people laugh and think he's funny... Nigga talked Truth.!

How fucking far is downtown that you wouldn't regret shooting yourself?

>i feel like my fam doesnt even want me around other than to pay the bills.
Thats on you.

I know the feels user. Don't be a weak cuck man. No matter what you feel now you feel much worse if you fuck up your kids' life. My story is not far from yours except my life was really fucked up before I met my wife. Same shit with dad. But everytime i think about the greener grass I look at other people's relationships and people who get divorced and move from life to life. They're fucking miserable and sinical. And yet you look at old fucks who are boring as fuck but stayed together all their life and they don't have a worry or complaint they can tell you of. You and I are the lucky ones, but we're cursed with being human, ie, always wanting more. Stay strong brother.