I need advice

I need advice.

I am engaged due to be married in May. However, I have become doubtful.

I have been in a relationship with my fiance for three years now, and engaged one year - living together two years.

I use to be a sailor, but I gave it up, som I could spend more time with her; I got myself a job abroad, where I would work for seven weeks and be home for seven weeks; sadly I lost the job in January officially because of management reconstruction, but unofficially because I broke my collarbone, and would not be able to work for some months.

That's were the problems arose; when I got home, I couldn't do anything myself, still she left our apartment a 07.00 and only got home at 18-19:00, very tired. I was very fustrated, because I needed fucking help, and she didn't.

Now as time has gone by, the bones have healed, but she continues to be away all the time - studying, working, spending time with her friends, training or coaching. She is gone all day, all week, we never fuck, never spend time together, and when she is a home, she just want to lie on the couch. She makes a mess at home, and then she leaves; expecting me to snuggle her, when she gets home.

I am not needy, but this is too much. She doesn't mind borowing my car og letting me pay for the groceries, but we are more roomies than anything else, and I am really concidering ending the relationship.

I like her very much, but this isn't the first time, we have had this problem; last year she was busy all November-December and promised me, we were going to spend time in January. I was set to go out sailing three months in the end of January, so we needed to spend time together - but come January, she had made a thousand plans, with everyone else, and I had to tell her, that our relationship was on the brinck of ruin. She gave me the tears and we talked, after which she decided to cancel her plans and mend our relationship. But now we have the same problem again.
So, what should I do?

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she is cheating kill that slut

Kys faggot

bro never get married its a trap

You need Sup Forums to give you advice?

Stay with her and suffer you insufferable worm.

You need some self criticism. You've been working in a pretty harsh rythm for a long time, so of course, she found ways to pass the time. However, its your task to make sure that she passes the time with you. Stop being a needy beta. Go out with her, tell her to stay with you (only good excuse to say no is job and family, and long arranged meeting with friends). Make yourself interesting, go out with her too.

cheating slut detected

You said it yourself OP, end the relationship, go back to sailing, and be happy.
>also sounds like she is cheating you don't be a cuck

Cont.

Dont threaten to break up everytime she decided to go with other people. Just stop her right at her tracks and tell her you're with me. Jesus guys, you're soon to be married. If you're not even capable of entertaining her now, you're goikg to have one boring marriage.

Talk to her.

Oh god, dead ringer but a different stage for a hyper-beta relationship I once had. Set the standard of "we talk about this for real or its over" then go from there.

Become a true sailor son, and with your lonely nights at sea ponder if you made the right decision. Of course you did, a sailors life for OP

youtube.com/watch?v=Bw9gLjEGJrw

youtube.com/watch?v=O69L2mO9y-4

There's a lot of stuff wrong with this.
You "quit being a sailor" to spend more time with her, but feel put out when she "expects to snuggle"...
You feel like you're both "not needy" and yet you need her to be around.
Do you need her to know that you don't need her? Do you want her to depend on you, so there's another paradigm shift in your relationship? So she knows what it's like? So you feel less emancipated? Sounds like a personal problem.
It also sounds like you brought up your personal problems, and she acknowledged them. She even helped fix this made up problem you had, to make you happy.
You want her, but you're "concidering" breaking up with her.
1. You have to identify you're needy.
2. You have to figure out what you want/need before you start asking for help. No one else can help you with that, because that's literally in your brain. In other words, be honest with yourself.
3. If you two break up, you will inevitably kill yourself. I wouldn't advise ending this relationship. I wouldn't advise trying to manipulate her. I'd try working on your relationship without making yourself look like a fuckboy. Unless she likes fuckboys. She is with you, after all.

last one for now
youtube.com/watch?v=9TcztyNlFx0

get back to the Sea OP she may kill you but she will never let you down

I have a close friend who just went through a similar thing, user.

You have to realise that if a girl does something more than once or twice it is probably in her nature to do so. That means it's going to be very difficult to change and you can't expect it to after marriage.

You are going to be with this girl for a while if you get married. What you see now is what you are likely to get for the rest of the relationship, because right now she feels secure and not inclined to impress you, and her true self is partially revealed.

If you're not happy with her now, you won't be in the future. You shouldn't be pushing to fuck or spend time with her. That should be a given, and it is the foundation to any relationship. If she isn't providing, it's time to bite the bullet and fuck off.

Especially after telling her once.

Your advices are fucking garbage

Theredpill google it op

But she's not with me. As I said, we are more roomies than anything else; we don't fuck, we don't spend time together and still I pay the rent, the groceries, the gas, and the expenses for the car.

It should be a relationship, not a fucking convinient charity.

Lol I had a systems job like that once, no unix experience at all, I got through the first month on Man pages and confidence.
>the next month my boss quit and that took some pressure off and gave me enough time to get up to speed.

That is exactly how I envisioned the shitshow your in OP, so you have to ask yourself "Do i want to pay for this bitch or not"? if not then dump her

>Doesn't fuck
>No time spent together
>Pays all expenses

OP what the fuck are you doing

It should be like this:

>Fuck 1-3 times weekly
>See each other daily for good amount of time (it's your fiancee for fucks sakes)
>Each pays for usage of own stuff. I.e no one is paying for each other.

And you are going to marry her kek

Sorry to ask you OP but this is Sup Forums; Does she know you are in a relationship?

lol never change Sup Forums

This is accurate. OP, get rid of her.

Have you ever talked to her about how you feel, what you need and how you imagine your relationship should work? If you don't say anything I guess she will just go on doing things as she used to do.
Have a quiet, honest, understanding talk and you'll see how this works for you both.

I did the same thing in a cafe job but I ended up giving a regular customer food poisoning and hemerroids from pushing too hard on the toilet.

No one ever found out.

>inb4 OP uploads screenshot asking her and she says
>ummm what? I am dating your friend Matt silly stop making jokes

Fake it till you make it is the way of getting ahead in life

lolololol you are fucking retarded... if some girl came up to you and said
>hey user would you like to pay for my bills, my car, clean my house and NOT have sec with me? I let you call me your fiancé on Facebook

What would you say to her? Wait don't answer you are probably such a fucking cuck that you would dump your current fiancé and propose to this one FUCK grow some balls mate

If she is your fiance now and doesn't give you shit why do you think it will change when you marry? Most likely she will just divorce your ass if you bitch too much and take half your shit, just become gay

Honestly if you feel like it isn't working out then it's not going to fix itself. If you're super bothered by here being out all day and spending time with her friends then you need to leave. Not saying anything about being beta or needy (you have the rest of Sup Forums to do that) but what's important to you is going to continue to be important. Currently on the opposite of that with my gf. Not that I don't love her, relationships just tend to stagnate after some time.

>I ended up giving a regular customer
Yeah, that's not your fault.
You don't spontaneously get hemorrhoids.
That shit builds up over a lifetime of holding stress and clenching your asshole.
t. two (probably more) hems and counting with poor stress relief strategies
Food poisoning may or may not have been you.
It certainly didn't help.
It's only you if you've improperly cooked or prepared food and then served it to them.

That makes me feel better.

But I'm pretty sure it was me who made him sick. I accidentally used an old ham container with the new ham that was left overnight in humid australian weather uncleaned.

If you said you were going cruising and shes decided to schedule other shit in, then its pretty obvious shes just using you as a crutch/financial support.

Fuck bitches, go cruise the carib.

OP its been 3 months since my gf left me after 6 years together. Im 32yo and also a very needy person. We had lots of problems and sadly, once she did something she repeated that all the time even if we talked for hours about it.
I think there wasnt a solution as I felt frustrated all the time and she kept doing plans every day.

For me it was on the contrary. I work as a freelance at home, and all she said was I was "vegetating" all day long. She didnt understand I need to work on the computer, so she went out with friends, studying on the library and so on. I couldnt handle that anymore.

I dont know your age OP, but there are plenty of girls out there. I recently met another one and guess what, she didnt have time for anything. Worked from 8am to 11pm, kept falling asleep all the time without a response, wasnt on the mood for talking, anger, etc. So I cut all contact with her.

Its so hard for us men to find a nice girl.

>I use to be a sailor, but I gave it up, som I could spend more time with her;

You dun goofed right here, your life come first, women are just the cherry on top.
The moment you abdicated your project to be with her, she smelled the beta and proceeded to treat you like one, the collar bone thing just makes it more visible.
She'll eventually cheat on you, and them marry you, then she'll cheat some more, until she's no longer attractive, then she'll just make your life hell and blame all of her life's problems on you.

Cut you losses and start new, men can always get women at any age in their life.

But I kinda understand him, staying away for 7 weeks looks like a bad idea when you are having a couple crisis. Imagine having to part for 2 months away and the day before having a horrible argument. That could mean even suicide for a weak/sad person, imagening all that she'd be doing.
The guy its on a ship, all men, alone. Girl can do anything she wants. At the end I'd choose the better option too

OP is propably gone now, but mate, I'm in a similar situation you will get in the future :

My 5year relationship ended some months ago. Different work situation etc, but the problems were basically the same. Girlfriend never wanted sex anymor, was sleepy in the evening all the time etc.

I was in my final exams and she was in her prefinals. So we both didn't have that much time for each other.


It had happened before, whenever she had a lot of work or had to study alot our relationship suffered hardcore.

For the last year of our relationship we were basically roommates, we fucked only a coupe times and we didn't spend a lot of time together.

Then we moved out because work elsewhere and after some weeks living in different places and seeing each other every second weekend or so she came on day and we basically ended it.


I was slightly shocked, I had it coming and I knew our relationship had problems. I would've let it continue just because it was still nice. I mean after 5 years with someone even if you're unhappy it's still nice to have someone close.

But in retrospect I know one day I will have to thank her for breaking up, because she did it before I really started working at a new place so that makes it easier.


My point is, she was like that 2 times before that, beeing distant, no sex, sleepy in the evening and so on.

It might be her nature, so dude, just end it whenever you feel you can do it.