You have 2 minutes to come up with an exit strategy

You have 2 minutes to come up with an exit strategy

Is this from a Slovakian newspaper that for some reason is written in broken English?

Walk away at a moderately fast pace.

"you know... your mother is right"

Just leave her, she obviously wants to trap him not even giving him an option she must have serious abandonment issues. I don't really believe in marriage anyway because lots of women use it as a meal ticket. Really no practical reason to get married these days except the tax rebates. Why legally shackle yourself to someone for no real benefit, unless you know and have known for years she's "the one" I don't get why people meet and get married less than a year later, you don't really know them, at least not as much as you should

> hang my head
> cry a little
> say I do

"I'm straight"

"Pretty sure bestiality is illegal in this state."

...

>"it was proof of love" he said.

>into his own weeding

I'd shit on them for spellcheck fail, but I suppose it doesn't matter cause none of you cucks can read.

POCKET SAND

>SHA SHA SHAAAWWWW

>cuck

Isn't that a popular word these days?

literally say "this is fucked up lmao, this isn't shit you can do b you crazy" and then leave

that simple

>double d next to double e
They don't make these things the night before and proofread them for the morning paper you cucks, this is to the minute news stories. They don't wait for facts or proofreading

Turn 180 degrees and moonwalk away

...

...

*the sound of scilence starts to play*

kms
everyone wins

>they got married after 3 months of dating
>she's 8 months pregnant
>makes him pay for the blatantly-not-his child support

I guess it's payback for that time I told her she'd literally have to trap me to make me marry her.

She cant run as fast as me

Her earrings are Chinese throwing stars. You're not fast enough.

stfu faggot your asinine everyone knows about your narrow urethra

Do 360 and walk back out of chapel

If a woman did that to me I would no lie instantly kick her full force in the face, and no one could blame me.

Brazil

>JUST

>brazil
Wow, if you think she´s fat now, just wait a couple of months.

With a face like that, i'd say he hit the jackpot

Holding out wouldn't have gotten him any better. At MOST the best he could've done, hadn't he gotten her, was dying alone.

we.will.all.die.alone

That's not true. That's something ugly, unwanted people tell themselves.

You think so?

Drugs. Always drugs
Trippin at my wedding I be running away

...

I mean, almost good for him if he loves her, but his error is in thinking she will be grateful and understand honor or commitment.
the ugly and fat ones don't understand that anymore than pretty and rich ones do. they will cheat. they will constantly cheat. fucking do-nothing women cheat on their successful husbands, they just don't fucking give a shit.

That ring doesn't keep them faithful, all they know is that now they have an opportunity to cheat AND get paid for it in the divorce

and before you Sup Forumstards try to tell me I'm wrong in any way? I'm gay. All I'm doing is looking out for YOU, not the woman, so why the FUCK do you have such a problem with the truth? You think you're going to earn more nice guy fuck points by defending women you've never met?

Do not get into relationships with women. End of story.

Say 'Ok, sure, I'll just go freshen up a little and I'll be right back'
And leave. Go home, pack your shit and find a hotel. Don't leave anything important to you and call her in a couple days to have a rational conversation about her crazy wedding shanghai attempt bullshit. If she doesn't want to keep going as-is until you want to get hitched for real, bail on that piggy.

run like a loose nigger

>no, u fat cow

straight up confrontation is the only way

>what the fuck? fuck this I'm out

something liek that

...

Bitch please, I'm uglier than him and dooing way better than that. If he's a moron or has no game, them maybe but based on his looks he could be doing way better. Clearly this was a slampiggy he got drunk with and said why the fuck not and didn't double bag it like he clearly knows now that he should have.

PSA to all Sup Forumstards

Someone who looks like this got an actual biological female and married her

& U?

>what is a prenup
But yea, cant protect yourself from cheating, but that will happend in gay relationships too, relationships overall is pretty shitty, just sacrifies and hurt for little gain

holy shit Id do the fastest 360 ever and gtfo've there

This faggot speaks the truth

"no"

PSA to all Sup Forumstards

Cant get a girl? Go for the fatties. They love any and all attention. They are as desperate as you losers, but girls.

i though you where gonna loose some weight before the wedding

not even fatties want me.... trust me i've tried...

When her dad gives her away at the alter.
grab his dick and shake it while sayin
THANK YA PA!

Pull out pocket pussy and start fucking it infront of everyone, it's hard to have an acceptable wedding when you're fucking a pocket pussy

This fag gots trips oh I creamed my pants soiled them if you will

Pretty sure I'd just give her a stern look, a hard stare. If she tried to do anything cute, I'd be unmoving, unblinking. If she kept pushing, I'd probably just walk off.

If she loved me, she wouldn't pull this shit. EVERYTHING is talked out before hand so that everyone is happy and safe. Oh, and the wedding thing. Why would you piss away that much money on something in the off chance your lover didn't really want it? Come on... that's just screams crazy right there.

"I'm not going to live with someone who is so mischievous to trap me into a wedding. If you are going to do this who knows what's going to happen when if we'd get married. Goodbye."

He gets to the alter and says, "I don't" drops the mic and walks away like a BOSS

Found the INCEL

Looks like an even more retarded looking Adam Carolla

"Forget" to sign the marriage license.
Go through the motions.
Use her like a $2 whore during the honeymoon.
Take the good gifts and get the hell out of there.